A Weekend In Oregon

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

So we spent some time in Oregon last weekend.



And now I could talk about our lovely brunch at Tasty N Son's in Portland, the scenic drive to Eugene, the beautiful vineyards, all the blah blah blah blog appropriate stuff.

Or.

Or I could dive into the part of the story I really want to talk about. Which begins in a cannabis store at 3:00 p.m. on a Friday, and ends just a few short hours later with me sitting at a table unable to talk to anyone around me as I was certain I was A. invisible or B. attending a play.  And you don't interact with people at a play, because they're in a play! And you're just an audience member. A very high audience member who probably shouldn't eat edibles, because as it turns out, those magic little candies hit quite hard.

Which story should we go with? Part 1? Or part edible? I think we all know. And before you want to cast judgment, you can spare me. I'm an adult and it was perfectly legal. So when in Rome.

But truthfully, I didn't go to Oregon with the intention to hit up a dispensary. It just not something I really care about. I'm not bothered by people who enjoy a little marijuana, it's simply not my thing. My body is about 20 minutes from falling asleep at any given time as it is, so the last thing I need is something to chill me out even more.

Until it was last Friday at 2:00 p.m. and I was in the middle of a rather large group of Nebraska people gathered at a brewery in Eugene. Some people I knew, some people not so much. I don't get nervous with large groups, I just get uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with small talk, to be specific. I just can't do it.  I look at those of you who can (like Chris) and I'm in awe at how easy you make it look.

Because when I give it a try it just feels so awkward and unnatural. I choke on my words, or talk over your words, worry I take too long to respond; the list of things going through my head while I sit "quietly" in whatever corner I've found are endless. I'm also aware how I tend to come off to others who are just meeting me- stand-offish... cold... rude... stuck up...  (which doesn't help the uneasiness.) Again, what I'm talking about here doesn't keep me from going out in social situations by any means, it simply keeps me in my safe corner. Which I don't always mind, until I do.

And that's when I looked across the street and noticed a friendly Eugene edible store.

What a good way to band-aid my uncomfortableness I thought to myself, as the people around me continued to say things we introverts love to hear.

You're super quiet! Are you okay? What's wrong? Do you have a headache?  

"You know what? I do have a headache," I said. And then I walked across the street to self medicate.

The dispensary was clean and nice. Run by a friendly staff, just like every person we met in Oregon last weekend.

"What are you in the mood for?" The man behind the counter asked.

"A new personality," I joked.

"Would you like to be chill or a little more active?"

"Let's go with active!"

He gave me a blueberry gummy, something he said was, "super light and easy. You could take this before work and still be fine."

How perfect! And without a second thought, I ate the candy and went on my merry way.

I would later realize me and dispensary-man had different ideas of what work means, at least that's what I said to the rooster in the backyard of our AirBnB four hours later, whilst sitting in the chicken coop. Alone. Once again.

I was too nervous to go back inside because that play was going on in the kitchen. And last time I was in there (just quietly watching the theatrical conversations unfold before me) someone turned to me and asked me to participate. IN THE PLAY. But I hadn't been given a script so I had no idea what to say.

So I just sat quietly and giggled, trying my best to avoid contact with the person sitting next to me, hoping if I didn't answer they'd go on to another audience member.

But they pressed on.

"Taylor? Hello? So, are you coming to supper or not?"

Why is play man talking to me? And ohmygod what is supper? Suppppur. I haven't heard that word forever. This must be a Midwest play! How fun. Supper. Sup. Per. Sounds like SUP, Perr. Perrrr. Purrrr. Purrr. I can roll my tongue.

I have a tongue!

And that's when I figured out I was purring out loud. Had I interrupted the play? Why was everyone staring at me? Or were they?

When did human eyes get so big? Is everyone laughing at me? Am I laughing? Laughing is weird! Why do we do it?

I couldn't be sure of anything, so I decided it would be best to close my eyes and tip-toe out of the room backward, hands held to my chest like a T-Rex, or a tiny quiet mouse. In doing so, I was sure no one in the kitchen would notice me leaving. Seemed like the most logical thing to do at the time.

And I found the chicken coop comforting.

The little animal sitting on the wire was like a little dog. With wings. And a beak. With a puffed out chest. Or like a .... oh my God no, MOTHMAN.

The candies turned on me at that point. So no, I didn't make it to supper. Instead, I made it to bed by about 7:30 p.m. fully clothed, (because changing into pjs just wasn't worth the risk.) What risk you may be wondering? I honestly had no idea, I just knew there were probably a lot of them.

In hindsight, eating edibles while on a family vacation wasn't the best idea after all. But I can say that I learned a very important lesson from it all; and that's to stay away from the blueberries in Oregon. Going forward, I'll stick to brunch and Bloodys.

*there was never a play. so if you didn't understand any of this, congrats on making better life choices than me.*

22 comments:

  1. Oh Tay. So many comments, too worried about irl people reading them here. Glad you had fun!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bruh... I nearly choked on chinese food reading this. hahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  3. this is hands down the greatest story I have ever read in my entire life.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for the morning giggle. Those edibles can pack a punch!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Omggggg I love this! 😂 Similar thing happened to me "when in Rome," except it was in Colorado. They don't mess around where it's legal, do they? Hey, af least it made for a great funny story!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Pretty sure I just scared some of my coworkers because I was giggling so loudly. That was so worth reading!! Also, every day I wish I could be in bed by 7:30....

    ReplyDelete
  7. I legit cried from laughter reading this. It perfectly describes why my weed experiences are few and far between (OR native here). Also, no matter how hard they try to disguise it, it all tastes like skunk ass to me.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Best story of the day haha. Edibles will really get you! A little goes a long way.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lol made me laugh out loud too! Was the candy tasty though? I haven't had edibles in a long time and I would love to try them again! Not legal in my state (yet) though but man I wish it was! It's so fun to try new things!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm Emily Dickson from USA I'm happy that my husband is back into my life after 2 years of divorce a strong spell caster named dr lagi brought him back I got his email online when a lady was testifying about the strong spell caster who restored her marriage then I said to myself since he helped her he can also help me so I emailed him and told him the pain that I was going through within 24 hours my husband came back home and our family is complete again If you are going through divorce since dr lagi helped me he can also help you email him at drlagispellhome@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. This was just the laugh I needed this morning! I feel you, on so many of those awkward, small talk, introvert, social, large group situations. I would have done just exactly what you did as well. Sometimes, life needs a little adventure like this. Bedtime by 7:30 doesn't sound so bad either! Thanks for the laugh :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. this is the best thing I've read this week. Edibles hit HARD - last time for me I was pretty sure I was melting into the hot tub at a Japanese bath house in the middle of the Tenderloin in San Francisco. But hey, sometimes its worth the story.

    xo, Maddy

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am dying laughing! Hopefully you slept so good after your adventures with edibles.

    ReplyDelete
  14. My husband left 2 months ago. A week after he left I found out he was dating someone who posted a picture of him kissing her in fb and that she “loves this man”. I am sick to my stomach. I want him back I do not want to be apart much less separated or divorced. I love my husband and I want to fight for him. I’m so scared of losing him. i knew my husband and i also know that some thing else was involve on this when i found out that this woman use a magic spell on my husband just to take him away from me, i was so devastating this as a result also destroyed my heart and soul coz i love my husband and i really want to get back with him i have seek for different counselling, nor could work out for me so i started given up on my husband coz there was no hope on getting back with him. one faithful night after my work, i got home trying to search for a friend on my of facebook, i come across a love page on how to get ex back, fix your broken marriage and stop divorced i was so happy when i found out some wonderful comment and testimony of a real spell caster who has help a lot of people to get their husband back so i order for an urgent love spell to get my husband, i contacted him via.. happylovespell2@gmail.com i did all he ask of me 2 days after the spell my husband show up at my office begging me to forgive him. i never believed i could have my husband back again we live happily now he show me love, care, also promise not to leave me again all thanks to Dr happy a real truthful spell caster plz if you have any problem similar to my do not hesitate to contact him http://happylovespell2.webs.com/ for more details email.....happylovespell2@gmail.com or add him on whats-app +2348133873774

    ReplyDelete
  15. Glorious be unto happy love spell the man who make me see reasons that there are still real and genuine spell casters like him. since 3 weeks now i have witness what is called heart broken. my boyfriend that promised me marriage failed me and impregnate me and leave,he dump me,he stop calling" he stop picking my calls,and he no longer respond to me. I have be looking for solution,I fall into the hands of fake spell caster,they rough me off and took my money without help.I have cried,I have weep"and tears runs out of eyes. the silentness in my heart brought me to the deepest path of failure that I lost my job. crying all day,because my life was lonely. so thanks to Dr happy who came into my life and brought me the greatest joy that was lost. i saw his web on http://happylovespell2.webs.com/ while browsing and I contacted him, tell him what am passing through with no doubt because of what i saw about him,was enough to believe. and i was given words of solution on what to do. i can't really help thinking about it i have tried to see what i can do, i manage to provide him half of the money for the spell, and he help me with the rest. after casting the spell, 12hrs later, here comes my bf with a rose flower on his hand and i was even about going out,i saw him in front of my door when he sees me he knee and said he is dying i should forgive him and accept him back he was crying,i can't wait to let him finish I quickly crab him and kiss him, just then" he said he is restless without me, just as the Dr happy said it will be. he brought out a ring and put it on my hand. our wedding day was scheduled,1 week after we got married. today makes it a month and we are living happily I don't know how to praise him enough, he has done me a thing i can never forget in my life. and i can't really share to myself alone, I want you all to help me praise him because if it wasn't for him, i already plan of committing suicide. but right now am now so happy more than i was before. if you fine it difficult to get your ex boyfriend back, contact him via..... email happylovespell2@gmail.com also make a view at his web site: http://happylovespell2.webs.com/ or add him on whats-app +2348133873774

    ReplyDelete
  16. My first time reading your blog and I love you already! Ive never tried edibles, many of my friends partake on a regular basis.....I know if I did, this is exactly what would happen to me haha! Cant wait to read more of your posts!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hello Every One
    I'm from United States of America , I do hope my post gets read and hopefully helps somebody along the line. i will never forget the help Dr Iyaryi render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 4 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was just checking my mails in the office when i saw someone sharing her testimony on how the Dr Iyaryi help her out with her marital problems so i contacted the email driayaryi2012@hotmail.com of Dr Iyaryi i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place that i should fill some information concerning my self i did after 12 hours he called me again congratulating me that my problems will be solve within 48 hours. he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage but i will make a free donation to Dr Iyaryi anything my heart told me. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Dr Iyaryi a try they work surprises because i know they will also bring back your husband. contact him via email. driayaryi2012@hotmail.com And also Reach him on WhatsApp Number: +2349057915709 Thanks Dr. IyaryI

    ReplyDelete
  18. Glorious be unto happy love spell the man who make me see reasons that there are still real and genuine spell casters like him. since 3 weeks now i have witness what is called heart broken. my boyfriend that promised me marriage failed me and impregnate me and leave,he dump me,he stop calling" he stop picking my calls,and he no longer respond to me. I have be looking for solution,I fall into the hands of fake spell caster,they rough me off and took my money without help.I have cried,I have weep"and tears runs out of eyes. the silentness in my heart brought me to the deepest path of failure that I lost my job. crying all day,because my life was lonely. so thanks to Dr happy who came into my life and brought me the greatest joy that was lost. i saw his web on http://happylovespell2.webs.com/ while browsing and I contacted him, tell him what am passing through with no doubt because of what i saw about him,was enough to believe. and i was given words of solution on what to do. i can't really help thinking about it i have tried to see what i can do, i manage to provide him half of the money for the spell, and he help me with the rest. after casting the spell, 12hrs later, here comes my boyfriend with a rose flower on his hand and i was even about going out,i saw him in front of my door when he sees me he knee and said he is dying i should forgive him and accept him back he was crying,i can't wait to let him finish I quickly crab him and kiss him, just then" he said he is restless without me, just as the Dr happy said it will be. he brought out a ring and put it on my hand. our wedding day was scheduled,1 week after we got married. today makes it a month and we are living happily I don't know how to praise him enough, he has done me a thing i can never forget in my life. and i can't really share to myself alone, I want you all to help me praise him because if it wasn't for him, i already plan of committing suicide. but right now am now so happy more than i was before. if you fine it difficult to get your ex boyfriend back, contact him via..... email happylovespell2@gmail.com also make a view at his web site: http://happylovespell2.webs.com/ or add him on whats-app +234813387377

    ReplyDelete