September Mantras + Telling My Ego To STFU

Tuesday, September 5, 2017


Those three day weekends, man. They're a double edged sword.

You go into them so excited for a "long weekend" and "no work" and "relaxation" and you come out of them like a toddler woken up one hour too early from a nap. Hair all crazy, sleep marks indented on your sweaty red face, a tantrum ready to drop at any second...  Or is that just me?

We hit these past few days hard, lived with the sense of urgency that it was our "last great Chicago summer weekend." And waking up today to 50 degree temps, I'm wondering if it really was?

I dabbled into a few hours of work yesterday, but still woke up with the oh shit feeling today when I looked at my inbox. I try to remind myself the oh shit feeling is good. It means my business is moving and not at a standstill. It means I get to work another day as my own boss, with Harlow on my lap. I recently read an article that said that people who are self employed suffer from more anxiety and depression than those who aren't. You know who I bet wrote that? Someone who is self employed. I'm pretty sure we all have our things.

I know immediately when I'm carrying extra fear and anxiety with me because it's heavy and draining of my energy. And when you're drained of energy you stop doing things you enjoy, because it's feels extra hard and strenuous for some reason. These past few weeks I haven't been working out like I normally do because I've tricked myself into believing I have "no time." That's also why I've cut down on blog posts and writing. No time, you guys. NO TIME.

So where in the hell is my time going? Dwelling. Sulking. Making up fake scenarios in my head. All of these things take a LOT of time, let me tell ya. Sometimes, an entire day, really. It's all about how much effort you put in, you know? How far down the rabbit hole shall we venture today?

This was supposed to be a post about Labor Day weekend and then there I went. Bitching out my work stuff again. There's a light at the end of this I promise, I'm just taking a while to get there.

In the midst of writing this post, I got the email from "the heaviness" I've been up against this past month. The email that read, "consider this case closed."

And with that, the heaviness lifted just slightly. It's "closed" for them and that's good. And once I learn to stop dwelling and let go of what seems VERY UNFAIR and like a load of BULLSHIT and how can do they do this I CAME UP WITH IT, it will be closed for me too....

Shoot, I'm not quite over this, can you tell? And yes, I will explain "this" (in depth) someday. Just not now. I'm too emotional and I want to get my words just right, and to the point where my anger no longer forces me to throw in random words in all caps.

When I break this situation down in my head (my favorite thing to do) I'm able to recognize the loudest voice complaining about all of "this" is my ego. And NO ONE pisses Ego off and gets away with it.  (It's actually Ego who loves caps.)

See, Ego really wants (NEEDS) credit where credit is due. (And attention.) And validation. And most of all, everyone must now how bruised Ego is right now. Ego has been wronged and it's NOT OKAY.

Breaking it down like this helps me. Because it's worth noting that in my head Ego is played by Michelle Tanner in the "devil Michelle vs angel Michelle" episode, naturally my Ego is dressed in the Michelle all black leather biker outfit. And if you get this reference, thank you. If you don't, I'm sorry.

I really sat down today to write a post about Labor Day that segued into an upbeat "how to tackle the week" post, but I got lost in the muck after receiving the email about all "this"... and then I made you all come along. My bad, my bad.

Regardless of what you've read today, I'm actually feeling really positive about this week. However like any person, I have my low moments and if I don't keep myself in check when I'm free writing they just pop in to say hello when I least expect it (like paragraphs five and six.)

But I'm doing much better about all "this" than I was two weeks ago. Or last week. Or even an hour, actually.

We're in a new month, with new fresh energy. I'm going to armor myself with good vibes and see what happens. And if you've made it this far in this post, bless you. I'll share some of the mantras I'm taking into September with me.

From the Law Of Positivism-

"When we let go of the constant need to become, we can more easily just be."

From Tiny Buddha-

"Our thoughts manifest our reality. Choose wisely"

"You can be fearless with your energy, while also protecting it."

"Anything that costs you your peace is far too expensive to hold onto."

And two favorites from my favorite book, The Alchemist-

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

 “It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” 


11 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing the mantras. I'm in need of them too. Feels like the first eight months of 2017 have just whizzed by and I haven't completed... much. Need to reorganise for Q3 pronto!

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
    http://charmainenyw.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Michelle Tanner forever! I'm pretty thankful you aren't a libra because I think it would be even harder for you to let go. Bc of insta, I know what "this" is and I think it is SO unfair (we libras are obsessed with fairness, above all things). Anyway, just wanted to write that I enjoyed this post. I love when you free write/ramble! Reminds me of your blog posts in the pre-photos days.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi everyone! I'm so excited, I've gotten back with my ex boyfriend after he break up with me and left me for another girl he meant on social media, Thanks to Dr.Unity the best spell caster online for restored my broken relationship and i highly recommends Dr.Unity to anyone in need of help!.. Me and boyfriend have been together for 3 years, recently i found out my boyfriend was having an affair with another Girl, when i confronted him, it led to quarrels and he finally broke up with me, i tried all i could to get him back but all to no avail until i saw a post in a relationship forum about a spell caster who helps people get back their lost love through Love spell, at first i doubted it but decided to give it a try, when i contacted this spell via his email, and he told me what to do and i did it, Then he did a {urgent Love spell} for me. 28 hours later, my boyfriend really called me and told me that he miss me so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr.Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity is a real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back, or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 ,Danele Louw from Washington.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm Emily Dickson from USA I'm happy that my husband is back into my life after 2 years of divorce a strong spell caster named dr lagi brought him back I got his email online when a lady was testifying about the strong spell caster who restored her marriage then I said to myself since he helped her he can also help me so I emailed him and told him the pain that I was going through within 24 hours my husband came back home and our family is complete again If you are going through divorce since dr lagi helped me he can also help you email him at drlagispellhome@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. My husband left 2 months ago. A week after he left I found out he was dating someone who posted a picture of him kissing her in fb and that she “loves this man”. I am sick to my stomach. I want him back I do not want to be apart much less separated or divorced. I love my husband and I want to fight for him. I’m so scared of losing him. i knew my husband and i also know that some thing else was involve on this when i found out that this woman use a magic spell on my husband just to take him away from me, i was so devastating this as a result also destroyed my heart and soul coz i love my husband and i really want to get back with him i have seek for different counselling, nor could work out for me so i started given up on my husband coz there was no hope on getting back with him. one faithful night after my work, i got home trying to search for a friend on my of facebook, i come across a love page on how to get ex back, fix your broken marriage and stop divorced i was so happy when i found out some wonderful comment and testimony of a real spell caster who has help a lot of people to get their husband back so i order for an urgent love spell to get my husband, i contacted him via.. happylovespell2@gmail.com i did all he ask of me 2 days after the spell my husband show up at my office begging me to forgive him. i never believed i could have my husband back again we live happily now he show me love, care, also promise not to leave me again all thanks to Dr happy a real truthful spell caster plz if you have any problem similar to my do not hesitate to contact him http://happylovespell2.webs.com/ for more details email.....happylovespell2@gmail.com or add him on whats-app +2348133873774

    ReplyDelete
  6. Glorious be unto happy love spell the man who make me see reasons that there are still real and genuine spell casters like him. since 3 weeks now i have witness what is called heart broken. my boyfriend that promised me marriage failed me and impregnate me and leave,he dump me,he stop calling" he stop picking my calls,and he no longer respond to me. I have be looking for solution,I fall into the hands of fake spell caster,they rough me off and took my money without help.I have cried,I have weep"and tears runs out of eyes. the silentness in my heart brought me to the deepest path of failure that I lost my job. crying all day,because my life was lonely. so thanks to Dr happy who came into my life and brought me the greatest joy that was lost. i saw his web on http://happylovespell2.webs.com/ while browsing and I contacted him, tell him what am passing through with no doubt because of what i saw about him,was enough to believe. and i was given words of solution on what to do. i can't really help thinking about it i have tried to see what i can do, i manage to provide him half of the money for the spell, and he help me with the rest. after casting the spell, 12hrs later, here comes my bf with a rose flower on his hand and i was even about going out,i saw him in front of my door when he sees me he knee and said he is dying i should forgive him and accept him back he was crying,i can't wait to let him finish I quickly crab him and kiss him, just then" he said he is restless without me, just as the Dr happy said it will be. he brought out a ring and put it on my hand. our wedding day was scheduled,1 week after we got married. today makes it a month and we are living happily I don't know how to praise him enough, he has done me a thing i can never forget in my life. and i can't really share to myself alone, I want you all to help me praise him because if it wasn't for him, i already plan of committing suicide. but right now am now so happy more than i was before. if you fine it difficult to get your ex boyfriend back, contact him via..... email happylovespell2@gmail.com also make a view at his web site: http://happylovespell2.webs.com/ or add him on whats-app +2348133873774

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hello Every One
    I'm from United States of America , I do hope my post gets read and hopefully helps somebody along the line. i will never forget the help Dr Iyaryi render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 4 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was just checking my mails in the office when i saw someone sharing her testimony on how the Dr Iyaryi help her out with her marital problems so i contacted the email driayaryi2012@hotmail.com of Dr Iyaryi i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place that i should fill some information concerning my self i did after 12 hours he called me again congratulating me that my problems will be solve within 48 hours. he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage but i will make a free donation to Dr Iyaryi anything my heart told me. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Dr Iyaryi a try they work surprises because i know they will also bring back your husband. contact him via email. driayaryi2012@hotmail.com And also Reach him on WhatsApp Number: +2349057915709 Thanks Dr. IyaryI

    ReplyDelete
  8. Glorious be unto happy love spell the man who make me see reasons that there are still real and genuine spell casters like him. since 3 weeks now i have witness what is called heart broken. my boyfriend that promised me marriage failed me and impregnate me and leave,he dump me,he stop calling" he stop picking my calls,and he no longer respond to me. I have be looking for solution,I fall into the hands of fake spell caster,they rough me off and took my money without help.I have cried,I have weep"and tears runs out of eyes. the silentness in my heart brought me to the deepest path of failure that I lost my job. crying all day,because my life was lonely. so thanks to Dr happy who came into my life and brought me the greatest joy that was lost. i saw his web on http://happylovespell2.webs.com/ while browsing and I contacted him, tell him what am passing through with no doubt because of what i saw about him,was enough to believe. and i was given words of solution on what to do. i can't really help thinking about it i have tried to see what i can do, i manage to provide him half of the money for the spell, and he help me with the rest. after casting the spell, 12hrs later, here comes my boyfriend with a rose flower on his hand and i was even about going out,i saw him in front of my door when he sees me he knee and said he is dying i should forgive him and accept him back he was crying,i can't wait to let him finish I quickly crab him and kiss him, just then" he said he is restless without me, just as the Dr happy said it will be. he brought out a ring and put it on my hand. our wedding day was scheduled,1 week after we got married. today makes it a month and we are living happily I don't know how to praise him enough, he has done me a thing i can never forget in my life. and i can't really share to myself alone, I want you all to help me praise him because if it wasn't for him, i already plan of committing suicide. but right now am now so happy more than i was before. if you fine it difficult to get your ex boyfriend back, contact him via..... email happylovespell2@gmail.com also make a view at his web site: http://happylovespell2.webs.com/ or add him on whats-app +234813387377

    ReplyDelete
  9. Glorious be unto happy love spell the man who make me see reasons that there are still real and genuine spell casters like him. since 3 weeks now i have witness what is called heart broken. my boyfriend that promised me marriage failed me and impregnate me and leave,he dump me,he stop calling" he stop picking my calls,and he no longer respond to me. I have be looking for solution,I fall into the hands of fake spell caster,they rough me off and took my money without help.I have cried,I have weep"and tears runs out of eyes. the silentness in my heart brought me to the deepest path of failure that I lost my job. crying all day,because my life was lonely. so thanks to Dr happy who came into my life and brought me the greatest joy that was lost. i saw his web on http://happylovespell2.webs.com/ while browsing and I contacted him, tell him what am passing through with no doubt because of what i saw about him,was enough to believe. and i was given words of solution on what to do. i can't really help thinking about it i have tried to see what i can do, i manage to provide him half of the money for the spell, and he help me with the rest. after casting the spell, 12hrs later, here comes my boyfriend with a rose flower on his hand and i was even about going out,i saw him in front of my door when he sees me he knee and said he is dying i should forgive him and accept him back he was crying,i can't wait to let him finish I quickly crab him and kiss him, just then" he said he is restless without me, just as the Dr happy said it will be. he brought out a ring and put it on my hand. our wedding day was scheduled,1 week after we got married. today makes it a month and we are living happily I don't know how to praise him enough, he has done me a thing i can never forget in my life. and i can't really share to myself alone, I want you all to help me praise him because if it wasn't for him, i already plan of committing suicide. but right now am now so happy more than i was before. if you fine it difficult to get your ex boyfriend back, contact him via..... email happylovespell2@gmail.com also make a view at his web site: http://happylovespell2.webs.com/ or add him on whats-app +234813387377

    ReplyDelete