What I Learned After Having My First Bra Fitting

Tuesday, September 19, 2017


It was at the age of thirty when I thought to myself, maybe I should get a "professional" bra fitting after all? 

Up until that moment the only "fitting" I'd ever had was me walking through the sale bras at Target and thinking, yeah that one looks fitting.  I'd spend roughly $14, try it on at home, and then complain when it fit like shit. But did I still wear it? Absolutely. I'm not one to waste $14.

I was leaving for a trip and realized I hadn't packed the correct bra and needed a new one asap. It also just so happened that I was stranded in Lincoln, Nebraska at this time. Why I was stranded doesn't really matter. What matters is that the only bra shop I could think of was a little slice of tacky heaven (hell) called Victoria's Secret. Perhaps you're a fan of this store and that's fine! It's simply not for me. They lost me at their Pink! collection.

But at the same time, I was about to have my very first bra fitting and figured why the hell not? I'm 13 going on 30 so this feels right!

I ducked inside the store hiding my face like I was walking into a trucker sex shop off of interstate 80. You know the one.

"Can you help me find a bra?" I asked the first sales girl I could find.

"Like, what kind?" She responded, pretty snotty. I got the sense she was about to go on break. That, or she got the sense she was about to help a 30 year old woman have her first bra fitting.

"A.... a nude one."

"No, like what do you want it to do?" She didn't like me.

"What bras do." I didn't like her.

She sighed as sales girls do when they're annoyed and walked toward a bucket of bras and pointed at them, "Here, these are on sale. There's probably some NUDE ones in there."

What about me said I like to choose bras from a bucket? Was it my $14 bra, perhaps? I looked down and noticed it was clearly doing that pucker thing under my tshirt that $14 Target bras tend to do. I suddenly felt very insecure.

I walked toward a fancier section, next to fancy lacy knee high things that reminded me of a saucy 90s movie. Something I would have secretly watched on HBO while wondering to myself why someone would wear stockings to bed, it made no sense!

"How much is this bra?" I asked mean sales girl.

"Oh that wouldn't fit you," she responded, eyeing my puckering bra.

"I didn't ask if it would fit me or not." 

"How much is it, Marie?" Sales girl said to no one.

"It's very expensive," Marie, the non-existent person responded.

And now I was getting pissed. Here I was, a grown ass woman just trying to buy my first Victoria's Secret bra!

"Look, I got money to spend in here!" I said as I began to pace the store in my knee high pleather boots, my short white/blue midi dress starting to ride up in anger.

"Well I don't think we have anything in here for you, you're obviously in the wrong place. Please leave." 

HOLY SHIT. Did a Victorias' Secret sales girl just tell me to leave? Oh hell no.

My bad. No, that didn't actually happen. I just fell in a Pretty Woman hole again. That always happens to me when I least expect it.

Where was I? Oh yes, the bra bucket.

As soon as mean sales girl walked away a very sweet sales girl walked up.

"Can I help?" she asked, just like the nicer sales woman on Pretty Woman.

"Yes please, I need a bra that doesn't pucker. And nothing too padded. No push up. Basically I'd like whatever you have that is closest to a trainer-bra, or a sports bra. But not for children."

"Of course, what size are you?"

"Ugh, whatever you have will work," I said as I looked down and folded my arms across my chest.

"Oh cutie, have you ever had an actual bra fitting before?"

There's something so endearing about someone ten years younger than you calling you "cutie," isn't there? And that's why I was in here, wasn't it? Of course, I never thought I'd actually go through with it. But five minutes later I was in a dressing room with a girl who was probably still in high school telling me how to wear underwear. Maybe growing up wouldn't be that bad, after all!

The girl asked me how many bras I own. I responded, "Three and a half. Four if you count the scary lace one in the back of my drawer I hold onto just to keep the spirits away."

She told me she owned roughly 45 bras. Nature of the biz, I suppose. I could have snarked back, yeah well I own 400 t-shirts! But it didn't feel like a pissing contest and she was sweet, so I kept my mouth shut.

She informed that you should wash your bras after every 8-10 uses. And always in a garment bag. And NEVER dry them.

Totally. For sure. I do all of the above.

I've heard of "garment bags."  I'm pretty sure I even got one as a high school graduation gift years ago. But if memory serves it quickly turned into my marker bag. (I used to really love markers!) You know, for coloring in my planner, duh.

The nice sales girl helped me find the perfect nude bra that didn't pucker (it was $44, little more pricey than $14, but I guess I wear it everyday so that's okay.) And she even gave me some solid life advice, "confidence starts with a great bra!"

And this whole time I thought confidence came from the inside. But nope, it comes from Victoria's Secret. Loves it. Say what you want, but that teenage sales girl knew a lot about life.

I felt really good about the entire experience. My new bra goes great under my tshirts, under my cardis, under my scarves.

And next time I'm in Lincoln I may just pop in to say hi to my friend. And also to tell my enemy what a big HUGE mistake she made by not helping me.




18 comments:

  1. Replies
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      MY EX IS FINALLY BACK TO ME

      I was so depressed when my ex left me for another woman. it made me felt like i was not relevant and my heart and love life was seriously destroyed. i could not concentrate in anything i was doing. i went online and searched for help but could not find any genuine spell caster until i went to Ocala Florida to visit my aunt to ease the depression and loneliness. when i got to Florida, i explained to my aunt who then felt pity for me and told me the secret she have not told anyone about the success in her marriage with her man. she then took me to the temple of powerful Dr. Ugo Wonders whom i met and explained my problems to. he promised to help me because of my aunt. i trusted his words and provided him with the materials needed to help me get my ex back and to my greatest surprise, after 48 hours of casting the spell, my Ex cam back on his knees begging for me to forgive him. i was shocked and surprised at the magic. we are happily married now and everything is working fine with us.I promised Dr. Ugo that i will never keep this a secret because he brought back my life and my world and that i will hare my testimony to the general public.
      My advice goes to any one out there who is emotionally depressed or having any similar relationship problem, to contact Dr. Ugo wonders the ultimate spell caster via his direct email generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call his temple line on +1 386-336-9876 he is the best in Florida....

      Delete
  2. You should go get a bra fitting at Nordstrom. It's like angels singing compared to VS.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is true! Bras at Nordstrom are expensive but SO much better quality!

      Delete
    2. Agreed ^^^ Wayyyyy better quality and much nicer people!

      Delete
  3. Wait, where's the link to this perfect bra? I need to know what to buy!

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  4. The first time I wore a bra that actually fit correctly, I swear it looked like I lost 10 pounds! And then when I learned that different sizes can fit you the same (for example: I wear a 38DDD which is the same as a 40DD), it was a million times easier bra shopping. :)

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  5. Bahah I always have pretty woman moments in fancy stores too. And every 8-10 washes... Sure Jan.

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  6. Bahah I always have pretty woman moments in fancy stores too. And every 8-10 washes... Sure Jan.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I had a bra fitting once and the lady measured me ALL wrong! She said I was a B cup and I was just like "Did you even LOOK at my boobs?!" Have you tried ThirdLove bras? I've heard a lot of good things and plan on trying them out!

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  8. this is hysterical and you now have me thinking i really need a bra fitting. also, i wash my bras like twice a year. and not in a garment bag. WHATEVER SUE ME

    ReplyDelete
  9. I had a bra fitting once and only once, the woman made me feel stupid and tried to sell me a bra I didn't want

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  12. This is the greatest! I absolutely hate bra shopping. I have been putting it off for a year. But VS is where I buy mine. They are the only store that actually fits me without them riding up or poking or doing every annoying thing a bra does.

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is a hilarious story! Such a great experience. I do not like VS, it is to fancy, so much lace, glitter, puch-ups and other stuff that I actually do NOT need. And prices: I prefer to pay for a dissertation, not for fancy stuff that will be visible underthe t-shirt.

    ReplyDelete

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