My Thoughts On Babies

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

As I sat in bed last night contemplating whether or not I was ready for the responsibility to take on a short-term foster dog for the weekend, my sister brought a third human into the world.

I repeat, while I was debating if I was ready for an additional dog (for 5-6 days only) my sister had another child (for life.)

Vivienne was born around 4:00 a.m. this morning. And if this were child number one, I wouldn't be writing this post right now. Instead, I'd be worried it wasn't time to share just yet! Did my sister have the correct pictures taken? Had she told family? What about friends? Had she posted the "We are so in love!" Facebook update yet?

But since it's child number three, I know this kid will probably be walking out of the hospital pushing her own suitcase, whilst making her own Facebook status by tomorrow already.

What I'm saying is that rules go out the window with the third. I can say this because I'm a third child.

And I turned out okay, right Harlow? 

Hells ya, you did. Now let's go get a Bloody Mary! It's nearly 9 a.m.!

(Then Harlow and I cackle and high five like the old crazy dogs we are.)

As I was saying, I turned out okay.

Well, I was okay until I started googling things about pregnancy and labor last night. There was a lot I didn't know. It all started with the word "cervix," and then things spiraled pretty quick from there.

The female body is incredible. We shed things and plug things and pop things. And wow. There's just a lot going on inside of us. We're like a full functioning factory. If the human body were online retailers, women would be Amazon.com because WE DO IT ALL. And men would be Joseph A. Banks because they basically just make cheap suits.

I'm kidding! Chill, boys.

After learning about our bodies I stumbled onto animal births somehow.

Did you know Pandas give birth to babies the size of a mouse? Think about the size of a panda. Then think about the size of a mouse. That makes sense to me.

You know what doesn't make sense? Humans giving birth to humans the size of watermelon. Zero. Sense.

I would have thought that by the year 2017 we'd have figured out a better way to do this by now. We've got cars that drive themselves and iphones that open on facial recognition, and yet we're still kicking it old school when it comes to childbirth.

And yes, I'm aware several moms enjoy the "miracle the of birth." That's wonderful. Incredible, really. I applaud those moms. I wish I could say I look forward to someday experiencing this miracle.

But truthfully, I'm not so sure I do.

I wish we could lay eggs. I feel like I'd be pretty okay sitting in a warm incubator just relaxing on my eggs for a few months, catching up on Netflix, sending emails, doing whatever. (In my mind that's how I envision this all would work.)

And today's post has been brought to you by ten-year-old me! I am all over the place, my apologies. So much going on in my head.

Long story short, Chris and I are not ready to have children. Someday, yes. Today, no!

But to every mom who has birthed children, you amaze me. You grew a small human inside of you. Meanwhile, I'm still struggling to grow proper eyebrows.

I think I should wrap this up now.

And yes, we're getting a foster brother for Harlow tomorrow :) One of us is more excited than the other.

Bye! And happy birthday, baby Vivi! Can't wait to meet you.


17 comments:

  1. Omg I must know EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU FOSTERINGGGGGG!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
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      DIVORCE AND MARITAL BREAKTHROUGH

      It all started when my husband cheated on me with another woman unknowing to him that the woman is a wizard, the woman castes a spell on my husband which made my husband change his feelings towards me and the kids and broke our 6 years marriage. i was confused and stressed because of the pains of being a single mother, when i called a friend and explained my marital challenges to her, she instructed and directed me to contact a great powerful spell caster called Dr. Ugo Wonders living in Florida. i contacted Dr. Ugo and explained my problems, he assured me his help and it was 100% guaranteed. i provided the materials for the spell and in 48 hours, after Dr Ugo Wonders of generalspelltemple@gmail.com finished casting the spell, my husband was free from the evil woman spell and he came back home to us a day after begging us to forgive him. i was so shocked and short of words and here i am today happily testifying so the world can know how this great man helped me with his real powerful spell.
      To every one with marital problem, divorce issues, lost lover or any relationship related issues, you can contact Dr. Ugo wonders the ultimate spell caster via his email address generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call his mobile number directly on +13863369876

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      Delete
  2. Congrats!!! Vivienne is such a beautiful name! So proud you now have a libra niece (like me - my bday is October 5th - yay!). Libras are awesome but we are annoyingly obsessed with fairness so even though she's a third, I'm sure she'll make sure everything is done fairly and equally lol. Lots of love to you and your fam! Good luck with your foster pup!!

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  3. What a cutie. This entire post is totally me as well. Hopefully you didn't go down the youtube rabbit hole there is no unseeing things!

    ReplyDelete
  4. So very true about the third kid stuff. I’m the baby and have done way more stuff for myself since I can remember! I used to boil water at 7 to make my mom tea. Who lets a 7 year old near a hot stove and a kettle of boiling water? Parents with three kids.

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  5. Laughing at the thought of you and Harlow high-fiving the suggestion of bloody marys. I think maybe my dog might suggest that tomorrow, now that I think of it. Congratulations on your new niece (and yay for a foster dog, too!)!

    ReplyDelete
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  7. Aw congrats to you sister! What a cute little niece! Yeah childbirth is definitely scary.

    ReplyDelete
  8. OMG, so a couple weeks ago I had the STRANGEST dream... I gave birth to an egg (like a regular chicken egg). And then they put the egg in my hands and it hatched into a little baby.... You bet I did all kinds of research on this dream - also not pregnant. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  9. haha your reply to Cassie has me weak!!! Congrats to you and Halow on the foster. Maybe a permanent second docg kiddo coming? You can have your own "we are so in love" status. Think about that ... hehe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. same here! cracking up. NOT TODAY.

      Delete
  10. Any woman who says they are ready to have a child, has never had a child, we think at times we are ready but really we are not, first child or fifth child we are not ready. Often we love babies but not all the work that is involved in taking care of a baby and it is a lot of work

    ReplyDelete
  11. DIVORCE AND MARITAL BREAKTHROUGH

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    To every one with marital problem, divorce issues, lost lover or any relationship related issues, you can contact Dr. Ugo wonders the ultimate spell caster via his email address generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call his mobile number directly on +13863369876

    http://generalspelltempleblog.wordpress.com

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