She Had An Appointment!

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

In an effort to lighten things up around here, today's post is called "She Had An Appointment." And just like everything I write, it is 100% true.

It is *partially* true.




The other day I was sitting in the nail salon by my house, attending my bi-yearly pedicure appointment, when the events I'm about to tell began to unfold. But before I start, I'd like you to know that I don't get pedis often for two reasons.

1. I am cheap.
2. The guilt I feel over making someone else touch my toenails doesn't sit well with me.

Let's just say I wasn't blessed with "pretty feet." If Game of Thrones needed extras to be feet-doubles for a scene about the Wildlings running amuck through a village, I could step in. And you don't even have to watch that show to understand that reference.

What I'm saying is that my feet look like they belong to an old Viking man who's had a few too many run-ins with giants and dragons and White Walkers chewing on them like rawhides.

Thus whenever I get a pedicure I bring whomever is assigned to me a couple of Gatorades and a sweat towel because I know they're going to need it. Things are about to get messy.

But I digress.

As I was saying.

I was sitting in my pedi chair, talon feet dipped in the warm water, when suddenly a very fancy woman in very fancy yoga pants walked in. The salon was full, but we could all tell by the way Mandi (that's what we're going to call her, Mandi with an I! DON'T FORGET THE i,) thrust the door open that she must have "had an appointment."

Or perhaps we could tell by the way she said it several times before even completely stepping inside,
"Hi, yes, I have an appointment. Hello, I have an appointment. I called. I have an .... " you get it. We all get it. She was the "woman with the appointment at the nail salon."

And yet there wasn't an open chair in sight. We knew it and Mandi knew it. As her eyes darted around the room looking for the person in charge we all kept our heads down, but our ears up, as one does in a situation like this.

A woman got up from her mani chair and hustled over to greet Mandi.

"Hello, here for a manicure?"

"A no-chip. I have an appointment. My name is Maaaandee. With an i!"

"No problem, will just be like five minutes."

Mandi sighed so heavy I can only assume she had somewhere very important to be. A funeral? Maybe a wedding? A birth?

"I don't have five minutes,"Mandi said, "that's why I made an appointment."

Did Mandi realize a no-chip took longer than five minutes? I wasn't sure. But I was sure I didn't want to be the one to tell her. It was clear she was already getting angry. I could see sweat gathering in her subtle blonde mustache, dribbles of makeup caught in each hair like tiny ornaments on a blonde Christmas tree.

I looked around and wondered who had overtaken Mandi's appoinment? I wasn't positive, but my guess was Virginia Slim next to me, I had seen her change her pedi color at least three times! That's sure to throw any schedule off.

"I'm sorry," the employee said, "we'll be very fast I promise."

Mandi huffed again, "Okay... why do you take appointments then, because like, I made one, and now I have to wait."

Nail salon drama was about to happen. We've all seen it before.

"I'm sorry, some appointments have taken a little longer than expected," the employee said.

Virginia Slim, I knew it! Meanwhile, Ginny next to me had her face so deep in a horny novel she had no idea what was going on around her.

"I can wait like five minutes is all and then I HAVE to leave."

Did you hear that? Mandi HAD to leave. She meant business.

Well three minutes ticked by and everyone in the salon kept their eyes on Mandi the entire time, but only via side glances obviously. The tension was as thick as Ginny's breathing.

"It's been five minutes and I have to go!" Mandi announced as she stood up waving her phone as if it was a flag or an official notice, or literally anything other than a dumb iphone in a pink glitter case.

No one said a thing.

So Mandi pushed on one more time, "I'm going down the street to PS I Love You nails, this is ridiculous. I made an appointment."

The woman who attempted to work with Mandi before said, "I'm really sorry," and went back to the manicure she was completing.

So Mandi stomped out, slamming the door hard enough for the bells on a string attached to it violently smack together in one large angry clang, rather than a few cute jingles like bells are supposed to do.

And with that, we all went back to our manis and pedis while watching old episodes of Flip Or Flop on the TVs that were mounted to the walls.

Less than five minutes later a chair opened up right as a new customer walked in. She didn't have an appointment but managed to get a seat anyway.

And then about ten minutes later, the bells on the door jingled again.

Mandi. Was. Back.

"Do you have an appointment?" Asked the employee from before.

THE END.

I'm not actually going to tell you the end, because it's a choose your own adventure kinda thing. What do you think Mandi did? What would you do?

I just love the politics of nail salons and in my head, this post was a lot more interesting. Thanks for sticking it out with me. I'll be back to tomorrow with something much better AND a very exciting ANNOUNCEMENT!

Jk, I won't. I'll probably just be back with a work of fan fiction about Buy/Sell/Trade groups on Facebook because that's been on my mind for awhile and it feels like a good week to write fan fiction.

"Rules are rules, KAREN! You can't say you're buying the lawn chair and then not comment back for over TEN minutes. Ask an admin!!!!"


13 comments:

  1. Lol! I get pedicures every other year for all the same reasons you list above.

    ALSO: I tried to sell my bar stools on a buy/sell FB group when we moved out of Wisco. I got legit STOOD UP ...twice. By the same person. Like, I canceled plans because she was "coming by at six." (And by plans I mean I didn't go for a run, which I'm always looking for excuses to not do anyway.) But twice! I'm still indignant. We agreed on a time, place, price. We exchanged cell phone numbers! She was texting me! I thought we were closer than that! Bar stools ended up in a Goodwill bin.

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      DIVORCE AND MARITAL BREAKTHROUGH

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  2. I never get to see what happens inside nail salons - because I've never been to any. Like you, I AM CHEAP. But if this is the kind of stuff that goes down, it's worth a visit LOL.

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
    http://charmainenyw.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Similarly but different.. i hate when you go into a salon and they say "5 minutes!" and they put your feet in to soak.. 30 minutes later your feet are raisins and you seem no closer to having someone help you. but the drama that i've seen from that.. people get ANGRY.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hate waiting. I am essentially Mandi. Because that's what appointments are for! Just kiddig. I'm only half kidding.

    Love your fiction. Keep it coming! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I hate people working on my feet. I'm deathly ticklish, and I'm always afraid I'm going to kick them in the face.
    That said, damn, Mandi! She probably told PS I Love You Nails she had an appointment, too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hope they told her they gave her appointment away because she stormed out in a huff, no one like to touch my feet

    ReplyDelete
  7. OH Mandi. She is the worst. I can't BELIEVE she came back!!! haha

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ironically there must be many Mandi's, with an "i", around the United States. I'm pretty sure anyone who steps foot in a nail salon sees or hears about her. Although, I will give her just a smidgen of understanding... Only because the couple of times that I have set an appointment, I always have to wait ten to fifteen minutes. But when I am a walk in I am always seen right away. It confuses me. I never make appointments now.

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