The Dog and Pony Show

Well guys, I’m happy to report the dog and pony show went great yesterday. Sales reps from around the country showed up in fancy black pants and cheap white blouses with their company logo ironed on just above the left breast pocket to show off their finest products. Speaking of, why don’t more shirts have breast pockets I wonder? Talk about functionality. 
Briefcases on wheels were all around, and tables were covered in free pens and cheap weird chocolate candy. It truly was a wonderful day. If you’ve never worked a sales conference before, I highly recommend you do so. Because I was born a salesman, this wasn’t exactly my first rodeo. I’ve harassed people from behind a table more times than I can count. Yesterday was a real treat however, because our booth was lucky enough to be right next to, are you ready for this? None other than Milwaukee’s top paper salesmen Tom Pesky! Tom Pesky could sell paper to a tree, the man is that good. According to him anyway. Pesky was just in for the day “overseeing” the sales associates underneath him, he made sure to say this several times. I feel like I should probably protect ol Pesky’s identity by not listing his real name here, but his name is just too good, I have to use it. I mean it might as well be Dean Ziegler.  And I hope you all just clicked on that link. Just joshin. Not.
(*Just for the record I don’t sell paper. )

But seriously standing next to Pesky the entire time, who was clad not in black pants, but a white suit straight out of Miami Vice was the only downfall of yesterday. He was the type of schmuck that hugged and high-fived every person that walked by. A real douchey sales guy if you know what I’m saying. As opposed to all those classy sales men… Jk, holler to all my sales people in the house, it’s a tough gig but someone’s gotta do it. 
To celebrate our successful day, my momager and I ended the day with drinks at my favorite neighborhood bar, Raven’s. Naturally, Harlow joined us as well. One drink led to another, which led to margaritas, which led to my mom suggesting I drop in on an open mic to do some stand-up. So that I did. 

*wearing the Karma necklace by TheKO Jewelry

I drank a little more than I had intended before grabbing the mic and I also hadn’t practiced at all like I usually do. But much to my delight there was a big group of drunk guys in the house who were being very kind to me and laughing at almost all of my bit so I just kinda ran with it. I was milking the moment and turning into a real ham with my facial expressions and awkward comedy pauses and throwing stupid stuff out there I’ve never said before but was certain was super funny last night. I guess good old Tom Pesky wore off on me, after all. Needless to say, I woke up feeling very ashamed today.
You know what else brings me unnecessary shame? Photo shoots. But when the mom comes to town, we gotta catch up on photos for the blog here.
Of course anytime I’d see someone walk by I’d say, “stop, normal people are walking by” and then I’d act like I was just hanging out or something. Just hanging out by a brick wall, nbd.
But I’m doing this for the greater good here guys just so I can show off the cool necklace I picked from 
The Rad Market, an online boutique inspired by both modern and vintage trends.
This awesome store is being super generous and is giving away a $25 gift certificate just by entering below. Check it out! Then head to their site and pick out what you would buy with $25.

Happy humpday, see you tomorrow.

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