So I intended to write this post last week, you know with Halloween and all, but then one thing led to another and it completely slipped my mind. That being said, I’ve decided it’s still information I’d like to share with you. Because it’s stuff that basically shaped my childhood and turned me into the person I am today. Meaning I won’t shower if I’m home alone/or watch any scary movies for that matter/still jump into my bed from a foot away kind of person.
So here we go…
I think it’s pretty obvious I’ve never been scared of a little style. Am I right or am I right? I think I saw a hipster on the train today wearing the exact shirt I’ve got on in the photo above. Not even kidding. And nothing says “I’m here for a good time, but also want to look chic while doing it” like black biker shorts.
But here’s what does make the list:
Bloody Mary. Not the drink, the demonic woman who was supposed to appear if you said her name ten times into a bathroom mirror in the dark. Do you think I ever tried this? Of course I never did! What do you think I’m a fool? It was never worth the risk to me, never the less, I am still terrified of dark bathrooms.
Light as a feather, stiff as a board. The ultimate sleep-over game after the boys had been called and your mom had told you to get off AOL for the night. It was time to try to lift each other into the air with the power of the spirits…Again, not a fan. I think I hated this game as much as the chubby girl in the room hated this game.
When the TV went fuzzy. When the TV went fuzzy when I was a little kid that could only mean one thing- my imminent death was near. Death by poltergeists to be more specific. “They’re here…” As you might have guessed, I’ve never actually even seen the movie, but I knew enough about it to know that a fuzzy TV = ghost breeding ground. Sad to think that the kids of today will never know the fear of a fuzzy TV. Wonder how they’ll know when poltergeists take over their house now? Perhaps when one of their shows doesn’t record on DVR.
Sleeping with your arms folded across your chest. I realize of all the dumb things that scared me when I was little this might be the dumbest. But I once heard an urban legend (from a fellow seven-year-old) that if you slept like how people sleep in coffins (with their arms across their chest) you would wake up dead… First cue should have been that one can’t actually “wake up” dead. But I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t just a little nervous about it all, I mean weirder things have happened right?
Any and all noises when home alone. A creak upstairs meant one of two things: a ghost or a burglar, perhaps both. My go-to response was usually to shout as loudly as I could “Good thing I’ve got my gun with me. And this huge butcher knife. And this ax. And a blowtorch…” and whatever else I could think of that I presumed would “scare” an intruder away.
Waking up randomly in the night. Because there was only one thing that could wake a child from sleep: ghosts. Lots and lots of ghosts.
Not sleeping under a blanket. I had this weird theory when I was younger that if I didn’t sleep with a blanket covering at least some part of me, whatever was lingering under my bed or in my closet would have free reign to attack me.
Prank phone calls. If I was home alone and the phone would ring and “unknown” would show up on the called ID box my heart would always start to race. And much to my fear, I’d answer only find NO ONE on the other end. But I was always certain there was heavy breathing which obviously meant that someone was watching me and was just about to break inside my house (if they weren’t already inside!) and kill me a hundred times over. Most likely with a Scream mask on.
And now let’s all take a second to remember CALLER IDs! When we finally got one in our house I could have died right then. Because life just didn’t get any better. Now I could see which one of my three girlfriends was calling me to talk about YMCA basketball practice or what we liked about TGIF TV the night before. What a thrill that was.
And that seems like a good place to wrap it up. Stay safe everybody, there’s a lot of ghosts out there just waiting to get you.
Saturday Takeover Spot: