What Used To Scare Me

So I intended to write this post last week, you know with Halloween and all, but then one thing led to another and it completely slipped my mind. That being said, I’ve decided it’s still information I’d like to share with you. Because it’s stuff that basically shaped my childhood and turned me into the person I am today. Meaning I won’t shower if I’m home alone/or watch any scary movies for that matter/still jump into my bed from a foot away kind of person.

So here we go…

I think it’s pretty obvious I’ve never been scared of a little style. Am I right or am I right? I think I saw a hipster on the train today wearing the exact shirt I’ve got on in the photo above. Not even kidding. And nothing says “I’m here for a good time, but also want to look chic while doing it” like black biker shorts.

But here’s what does make the list:

Bloody Mary. Not the drink, the demonic woman who was supposed to appear if you said her name ten times into a bathroom mirror in the dark. Do you think I ever tried this? Of course I never did! What do you think I’m a fool?  It was never worth the risk to me, never the less, I am still terrified of dark bathrooms.

Light as a feather, stiff as a board. The ultimate sleep-over game after the boys had been called and your mom had told you to get off AOL for the night. It was time to try to lift each other into the air with the power of the spirits…Again, not a fan. I think I hated this game as much as the chubby girl in the room hated this game.

When the TV went fuzzy. When the TV went fuzzy when I was a little kid that could only mean one thing- my imminent death was near. Death by poltergeists to be more specific. “They’re here…” As you might have guessed, I’ve never actually even seen the movie, but I knew enough about it to know that a fuzzy TV = ghost breeding ground. Sad to think that the kids of today will never know the fear of a fuzzy TV. Wonder how they’ll know when poltergeists take over their house now? Perhaps when one of their shows doesn’t record on DVR.

Sleeping with your arms folded across your chest. I realize of all the dumb things that scared me when I was little this might be the dumbest. But I once heard an urban legend (from a fellow seven-year-old) that if you slept like how people sleep in coffins (with their arms across their chest) you would wake up dead… First cue should have been that one can’t actually “wake up” dead. But I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t just a little nervous about it all, I mean weirder things have happened right?

Any and all noises when home alone. A creak upstairs meant one of two things: a ghost or a burglar, perhaps both. My go-to response was usually to shout as loudly as I could “Good thing I’ve got my gun with me. And this huge butcher knife. And this ax. And a blowtorch…” and whatever else I could think of that I presumed would “scare” an intruder away.

Waking up randomly in the night. Because there was only one thing that could wake a child from sleep: ghosts. Lots and lots of ghosts.

Not sleeping under a blanket. I had this weird theory when I was younger that if I didn’t sleep with a blanket covering at least some part of me, whatever was lingering under my bed or in my closet would have free reign to attack me.

Prank phone calls. If I was home alone and the phone would ring and “unknown” would show up on the called ID box my heart would always start to race. And much to my fear, I’d answer only find NO ONE on the other end. But I was always certain there was heavy breathing which obviously meant that someone was watching me and was just about to break inside my house (if they weren’t already inside!) and kill me a hundred times over. Most likely with a Scream mask on.

And now let’s all take a second to remember CALLER IDs! When we finally got one in our house I could have died right then. Because life just didn’t get any better. Now I could see which one of my three girlfriends was calling me to talk about YMCA basketball practice or what we liked about TGIF TV the night before. What a thrill that was.

And that seems like a good place to wrap it up. Stay safe everybody, there’s a lot of ghosts out there just waiting to get you.





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41 Comments

  1. November 7, 2013 / 9:49 am

    Bloody Mary was the worst…. Once some girls decided it would be fun to force everyone to stay in the bathroom while they said it and I have been traumatized ever since.

  2. November 7, 2013 / 9:49 am

    i was always afraid there was someone hiding in the shower and would punch the shower curtain aside any time I went to the bathroom…and for a while I wouldn't allow a door to be shut or locked in the house. I am positive my mother is a saint for putting up with me.

  3. November 7, 2013 / 9:58 am

    hhahah bloody Mary I totally forgot about her!

  4. November 7, 2013 / 10:06 am

    My cousins and I always did bloody mary!

  5. November 7, 2013 / 10:12 am

    Yep I am still scared of all of those things. I admit it. And that is the definition of a Chicago hipster shirt!!

  6. November 7, 2013 / 10:13 am

    I used to be scared to shut the bathroom door if I was home alone because I was determined every noise was someone breaking into the house to kill me.

  7. November 7, 2013 / 10:15 am

    Bloody Mary all the way. I WILL NOT go into any room thqt has a mirror in it in the dark. Period. And I am scared to death of bathrooms at night. My mom forced me to do the Bloody Mary thing with her because my fear was so out of control. It didn't help. Of course she wouldn't come with my mom there. Duh mom. Also, I run and jump into bed still. And I wont sleep with my feet anywhere near the edge of the bed and they must be covered by a blanket. Also, I wont swim in a pool alone, There are sharks in there.

  8. November 7, 2013 / 10:17 am

    Light as a feather, stiff as a board was fudd up. Not even kidding, when they started doing that shit at sleepovers, I'd immediately call my mom because I "wasn't feeling good". Eff that.

  9. November 7, 2013 / 10:18 am

    I am still creeped out by Bloody Mary. Dark bathrooms + mirrors = No.

  10. November 7, 2013 / 10:23 am

    bless. I was scared of all of these things…let's not forget Bloody Mary's husband The Candy Man. I was scared of the Tooth Fairy, ET, and I was convinced for a period of time that Free Willy or Jaws was going to bust through the bottom of my bathtub and eat me.

  11. November 7, 2013 / 10:30 am

    I used to worry that if my hand hung off the side of the bed at night something would reach up and pull me under. If my hand was in the bed I was safe of course by if it just slipped over the edge I was done for.

  12. November 7, 2013 / 10:32 am

    I am afraid of whales. They are just too big.

  13. November 7, 2013 / 10:34 am

    Hahahaha I am still scared of prank calls….

  14. November 7, 2013 / 10:54 am

    I used to do that stuff- light as a feather stiff as a board and then FREAK out. or maybe that was last week.
    I cracked up at that pic of you. I love your old school pics.

  15. November 7, 2013 / 11:04 am

    okay the light as a feather stiff as a board was SO scary…although i can never recall someone actually lifting off the ground.
    ive tried bloody mary however i only made it to about 5 or 6 times saying it before i would run screaming scared out of the bathroom! im curious to see if someone ever did this and SAW HER! 😉

  16. November 7, 2013 / 11:06 am

    I still won't do Bloody Mary. I'm 30 and I know it's not real, but I will not do it. I'm so mature. And I once watched some dumb scary movie where the girl would lay on her bed and hang her arm down so her dog under her bed could lick it (??gross). Then one night, her "dog" licked her hand. She turned over and saw written on her mirror "People lick too." Turns out it was a man under her bed and he killed her. Needless to say, I don't hang my arms off the side of my bed.

  17. November 7, 2013 / 11:19 am

    Light as a feather, stiff as a board was totally true and seriously FREAKED me out!!!

  18. November 7, 2013 / 11:25 am

    I'm 21 and I still don't want to sleep without a blanket. It makes me feel too vulnerable and exposed.

  19. November 7, 2013 / 11:36 am

    I never tried the Bloody Mary thing either, it freaked me out too much. I hated scary things like that! Why do you think I've never been to a haunted house? Still to this day I won't sleep with my arms crossed over my chest, ha ha, because it pops into my head that that's how they put you in your coffin.
    If it makes you feel any better I was scared to death of the Energizer bunny, and my dad would torment me by hiding and saying "still going" then jumping out and scaring me half to death.

  20. November 7, 2013 / 11:40 am

    I'm 29 and being home alone still terrifies me! I'm house/dog sitting and late at night the dogs will start barking and take off downstairs. As if that's not terrifying.

  21. November 7, 2013 / 12:04 pm

    Girl, I'm forty (17 forever in my mind) & still afraid of some of these things!!!! Hahaha!

  22. November 7, 2013 / 12:05 pm

    hahaha these were so me! I checked under my bed and in my closest EVERY single time I came into my room, and I never put a foot out of the bottom of the covers, in case someone (or something) wanted to touch it. This probably stemmed from the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious to hide under my bed and push up on my mattress to scare the sh*t out of me… thanks a lot, Mom.

  23. November 7, 2013 / 12:16 pm

    Had the exact same fear about not sleeping under a blanket!

  24. November 7, 2013 / 12:18 pm

    bloody mary, yes – dark bathrooms are a no-go. and i still won't sleep without my feet covered, i don't care if it's 100 degrees. and at 28 years old, i will not shower when home alone at night. and during the day, i tell the dog she needs to be on high alert.

  25. November 7, 2013 / 12:27 pm

    I'm pretty much guilty of all of those too! Bloody Mary was no joke, I would have to jump out of the bathroom before I turned off the light and let's be honest if someone wasn't afraid to be home alone when they were younger they were one tough little broad. I'm pretty sure if anyone was trying to kill me and saw how I would flail around the biggest knife I could find yelling "I'm not afraid of you, I have this huge butcher knife" they would be laughing their ass off!

  26. November 7, 2013 / 12:46 pm

    Ah, caller ID. I thought I was the shit when we got ours. Bloody Mary freaked me out as a kid, too… now, I get scared of washing my face, looking up and seeing my OWN naked face in the mirror. My how the times have a changed! And guuurl… I would NEVER sleep without a blanket! Not even on the hottest night in the summer. I just… can't.

  27. November 7, 2013 / 1:26 pm

    My mom is a mortician and I definitely cannot sleep on my back at all really, but definitely not with my arms folded across my body like a dead person. It just creeps me out even though I'd never heard that you were supposed to "wake up" dead. You don't know scary until you have to walk across a room full of caskets by yourself to get to your mom in the middle of the night as a young child. Terrifying.

  28. November 7, 2013 / 1:29 pm

    HA! Before I even read the rest of the Bloody Mary paragraph I was thinking "oh hell no, I do not like dark bathrooms!" Glad to know I am not alone. I think I heard that myth about crossing your arms too… for some reason it still weirds me out, and I think you just helped me figure out why.

  29. November 7, 2013 / 1:32 pm

    Omgsh yes to all of these – I still hate them to this day. Pansy. Even the freakin Babysitters Club special scary editions scared the bejeezus out of me.

  30. November 7, 2013 / 2:01 pm

    I remember hearing that ghosts came out between three and four am, because they totally have a schedule to stay on… but none the less I still get creeped out when I randomly wake up during those hours. I woke up at 3:36am the other night, most likely because of city noise outside, and spooked myself anyway.

  31. November 7, 2013 / 2:02 pm

    Oh my god, to this day I get freaked out when walking into the bathroom if the light is off. I practically run from the door to the light switch!

  32. November 7, 2013 / 2:08 pm

    OMG! I used to spend weekends with my cousin when I was younger and she would torment me with Bloody Mary. I was never allowed to watch much TV when growing up, let alone scary stuff (mostly educational).. so at her house we could watch whatever and when she knew that I was a pussycat, she took full advantage of it. She would lock me in the bathroom and yell Bloody Mary from outside the door, etc. I would lay awake in bed and just cry silent tears for fear of my life. Pure hell, that biotch!

  33. November 7, 2013 / 2:10 pm

    I did a research report on Urban Legends once, and I read one about a killer in the backseat of the car with a butcher knife. Needless to say every time I get in my car I always check the backseat. The one time I didn't, my sister was hiding underneath a pile of clothes and jumped out as I was driving away. I may have peed myself a little.

    The wolves in Beauty and the Beast have me terrified of coyotes and wolves. Good thing I live in an area where they are everywhere.

  34. November 7, 2013 / 2:49 pm

    Oh my gosh, stop. ALL OF THESE. The blanket thing still gets me. No matter how hot it is, I cannot sleep without a blanket. I know, it's weird.

    xo

  35. November 7, 2013 / 2:51 pm

    Reading this made me feel a little bit better about myself since Russ likes to give me a hard time whenever one of my "weird chicken traits" pop up.

  36. November 7, 2013 / 3:11 pm

    To this day, I am still afraid to say Bloody Mary, and if I am ever in the bathroom when its dark I refuse to look in the mirror. No matter how hot it is, I can't sleep with no cover. Obviously a cover will prevent any predator from taking me. Duh. Oh and I am 31. And this stuff still scares me!

  37. November 7, 2013 / 5:46 pm

    I had a sleepover with some friends one night as a Freshman in high school and we tried the light as a feather stiff as a board, it debunked that one real quick! 😉

  38. November 7, 2013 / 6:06 pm

    oh my god hahah I was afraid of all those things too! light as a feather, stiff as a board! How many friggen times did I play that?!?! And guess what… the person was always really freakin' heavy.

  39. November 7, 2013 / 8:46 pm

    Omg I tried the Bloody Mary thing once!! Had my brother recorde it with a video recorder and we both swear we saw her but the video showed nothing. I was a lot braver when I was younger

  40. November 8, 2013 / 1:06 am

    Light as a feather…that freaked me out too!!
    Now the real world scares!

  41. November 8, 2013 / 9:03 am

    Ha ha reading your posts are one of the best parts of my day! So spot on with what it was like to grow up through the 90's, Thanks for sharing!!

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