Hey sillys! I got so much good response from this post “27 Quick Ways To Increase Blog Traffic,” I thought I’d write a follow-up that some of you might like!
It’s called 27 Quick Ways To Decrease Blog Traffic. I know so many of us have been overwhelmed with way too much traffic lately so I thought I could help out. Hope you like it!
1. Make your blog private. (This one really helps!)
2. Don’t promote any of your posts, like ever.
3. Write about how awesome your life is every single day.
4. Then also complain about how terrible your awesome life is.
5. Like huge giveaways? Cool. Post one every day. Maybe even twice a day.
6. What about promoting products? Readers love to hate this. Promote something new all the time. The more it doesn’t fit your blog the better.
7. Posting small grainy photos is always fun.
8. Hell, skip the photos all together. They’re overrated. People love to read.
9. Speaking of, write posts that are crazy long. Like three and four pages long.
10. Post terrible tutorials.
Did someone say terrible tutorials? Check out this one I made called “47 Ways To Wear A Blanket Scarf.”
11. Handwrite your posts! So vintage!
12. Post inside jokes that only you and one other person understand. So much fun!
13. Plagiarize. Everything.
14. Never respond to comments.
15. Play music on your blog that can’t be shut off.
16. Write about how you think blogging is dying and anyone who reads is dying too.
17. Post recipes and photos that you stole from another blog and credit yourself. (Very sneaky hehe.)
18. Remove yourself from every form of social media.
19. Switch to a new platform that is super hard to access and rarely works. #beunique
20. Like having someone else write your blog? Cool, have a guest post every single day.
21. Throw consistency out the window. Post once a month, or once a year, or 12 times a week. Just do you!
22. Hate everything.
23. Write your posts in a journal you keep under your bed.
24. Write your posts on a piece of turkey.
25. Write about how you despise people who eat turkey.
26. Choose terrible post titles like “27 Quick Ways To Decrease Blog Traffic.”
27. Just hate your blog and everything associated with it.
Whatever you do, don’t have any fun and please take this post very seriously.
Have something to add? Let me know, but don’t expect me to respond.
Love you, mean it!