My Audition With A Talent Agency

I am v unique.

I think my fascination with wanting a talent agent started with the movie Beaches.

I wanted to be CeeCee Bloom. I don’t even know if she had an agent, but in my head she did. And if I couldn’t be CeeCee, at the very least I wanted to be that girl who could walk on her hands up and down stairs. When I was younger the ability to walk on your hands was EVERYTHING to me. What a great party trick, you know? My feet are tired, guess it’s time to WALK ON MY HANDS! 

But I never quite got it. Instead I usually had to settle for a hand-stand against a wall. Ugh.

My desire to have an agent only got worse with the movie Life With Mikey. All of those precocious kids getting sent out on commercial auditions, what a dream!

But alas, I was never the child star I hoped I would be. No matter how many of those weird hotel conventions I attended that were advertised via radio “ARE YOU DISNEY’S NEXT BIG THING?” I’m listening

I didn’t really attend those things! But if I did, don’t judge me or my parents. Everyone makes that mistake once. Or three times.

On Tuesday an agency in Chicago called me in to audition. They reached out to me per the request of a casting director I met with a few weeks ago (NBD or anything) the casting director originally told me my monologue was too dark and they wanted something funny and did I have anything else? No. I didn’t. So instead I did standup in a brightly lit room at 10:00 a.m. in the morning for two people sitting five feet away.

And they liked it. Or they felt bad for me?

Anyway, it brought me to Tuesday where I was sitting in an agency waiting room looking at the head shots on the wall of the famous actors who have come before me.

I’d waited a long time for this audition. Like 20+ years. It’s taken me that long just to get my “foot in the door” for an agency to even bring me in. I’m a late bloomer, lay off me! It took me 15 years to learn how to shoot a free throw and I still screwed that up.

Anyway, I let myself sit in that moment in the waiting room surrounded by talented faces on the wall for a little bit longer as I waited to be called back. Even though I was just attempting to cross off step 1 of 1000 of where I want to be someday, I was doing it. I was trying anyway. Kid-me was pretty proud. My lisp corrector coach from the 90s would have been even prouder. Sally sells seashells by the seashore.

My reads went as good as they could for an audition. Pre-audition I’m always like: I’m gonna nail this so hard. During-audition: shit why am I not nailing this? Post-audition: damn it, I feel like I could have nailed that harder.

I need to audition more if I really want to be comfortable in front of a camera. Watch porn videos for free That damn thing throws me off.

I waited a few days to write about this in hopes I could tell this wonderful story of triumph of wanting an agent for so long and ending it with, and now I officially have representation!!!!!

But I don’t.

No callbacks have been made. No emails sent (not that I’m checking, I haven’t checked in at least three minutes.) It was a long shot they’d sign me, but I’m hopeful to a fault and still thought maybe just maybe…

But that’s the nature of this business.

It might take me longer than the average bird, but I’ll find my way in somehow. And in the meantime I’ll just keep slinging t-shirts and listening to the Secret on audiobook. Just keep swimming.

That one’s for the Group.

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16 Comments

  1. March 3, 2016 / 10:22 am

    Wow good for you for getting yourself out there!! I've always wanted to do this but never had the guts to even get as far as you just did!! I'll keep my fingers cross for you!! =)

  2. March 3, 2016 / 10:26 am

    That just means they weren't the right fit for you. Keep getting out there, send out resumes and demos to other agencies if you want! I've been with my agent for years, and we have a great relationship, so I can give you some tips if you'd like! 🙂

    • March 3, 2016 / 10:36 am

      all the tips. yes! give me all the tips 🙂 I need them.

    • March 7, 2016 / 2:14 pm

      Haha okay!
      Well, it's all about how you present yourself in the package – next time you do some stand-up, get someone (who's got a pretty decent camera) to videotape it, and create a sort of demo. Brand yourself as a stand-up comic – if that's what you want to be branded as.. if not.. find what works for you and go with that!
      If you do have any upcoming shows, you can send a little invite to some agencies, along with your headshot/resume/brief cover that includes your interest in the agency. If they're interested they'll come out and see you.
      I feel like there's more, but that's all I've got right now.
      Good luck! 🙂

  3. March 3, 2016 / 10:30 am

    Good for you. Just the fact that you have been noticed by an agent is a good thing. Just another piece in the puzzle that will lead you to what you should be doing. Your name is definitely out there with all that you have going on. It will happen. I love how you have such high hopes and great dreams. You are doing something about it. Most people just dream.

  4. March 3, 2016 / 10:31 am

    Good for you. Just the fact that you have been noticed by an agent is a good thing. Just another piece in the puzzle that will lead you to what you should be doing. Your name is definitely out there with all that you have going on. It will happen. I love how you have such high hopes and great dreams. You are doing something about it. Most people just dream.

  5. March 3, 2016 / 10:31 am

    I believe in you, Taylor! Your optimism and hard work will pay off. You've already accomplished so much!

  6. March 3, 2016 / 11:20 am

    You're gonna be famous one day gurl… just know it.

  7. March 3, 2016 / 11:35 am

    I feel you, I've been doing the same thing with literary agents for a while now. You know what though? You're awesome for trying; so many talented people are too nervous or self-conscious to ever even get this far. We just have to keep working, keep at it. One day our prince(s) will come…..and by that, I mean representation.

    Or, you know, an actual prince. That might not be the worst thing, so long as my husband doesn't find out.

  8. March 3, 2016 / 12:46 pm

    Iris Myandowski is a hand-walking queer.

    You'll get there, kitten 🙂

  9. March 3, 2016 / 12:46 pm

    Iris Myandowski is a hand-walking queer.

    You'll get there, kitten 🙂

  10. March 3, 2016 / 12:56 pm

    I'm dead because Cee Cee Bloom has been a huge inspiration for me since I caught her at like age 5 (my mom was obsessed with Beaches). She had great hair, didn't she?

  11. March 3, 2016 / 3:46 pm

    I just admire that you are going out there and getting after it!

  12. March 3, 2016 / 7:15 pm

    Way to go, Tay! You've taken the next step to fulfill your life-long passion! That's more than most people can say! In the acting world you gotta go to a lot of auditions, you've gotta listen to a lot of "no" before you get a "yes". Be persistent, stay true to who you are, keep trying and you never know what can happen!

  13. March 24, 2016 / 12:20 am

    You are so brave and al, you can do is try. It says a lot about a person that they follow their dreams and work so hard.

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