It happens almost every time.
Chris and I will be in a conversation with someone we’ve either just met, or don’t know that well, or maybe they do know us and they still say it. But one way or another the topic will shift to wedding talk and then back to engagement talk and when the person says, “so how long did you two date before you got engaged?”
And we respond, “seven years.”
The person we’re talking to gives me the look. Or the laugh. Or the elbow nudge.
And I cringe. I cringe so hard. If I could curl up into myself at that moment I would.
Things I’ve actually heard people say to me (men and women),
“I won’t ask who’s responsible for that!” Always followed by a huge chuckle and a jab to my side.
Certainly not me! If it were up to me, I would have been engaged in college! Maybe even in high school! Would have given me more direction in life, you know?
“You poor thing! How did you finally get him to do it?
I held a pillow over his head. Isn’t that how we all do it?
“I would have left a long time ago! How did you wait so long?”
I busied myself by baking cupcakes and knitting doll oven mitts and painting my dog’s toe nails every day, all while I prayed to the Lord that my man would come home and bless me by asking me to take his hand in marriage.
“Wow! You sure put your time in.”
Didn’t I? I knew if I just kept my eye on the prize (GETTING MARRIED) it would eventually happen for me! All good things are worth working for.
So I may get a little heated about this topic, can you tell? And I know. Usually, the people who say this stuff aren’t saying it to be rude. It’s almost like it’s embedded in them and they don’t even realize what they’re saying. I’m probably a little more annoyed than I should be.
But the fact is I’m annoyed. Because I know the connotation behind these jabs is that all women are just sitting around, dying to get married and we have to convince “our man” into asking us. The decision is all his. It kills me.
Some girls do “wait for the ring” and willingly admit to laying down “some pressure.” Some guys do too.
But some of us don’t. Some couples, and I know this sounds pretty wild so just go with me here, date for seven years and are totally okay with it on both ends and then decide to get married because it feels right. And because they want matching plates.
I’m going to blow your mind one more time now and tell you there are even some people who don’t want to get married at all! And guess what? It’s fine. To each their own. We’re all going to make it.
I just had to get that off my chest today, thanks for letting me vent.
Now if you don’t mind I need to go chop wood AND plan a wedding. Women can do anything!