I feel like there are two kinds of people in this world; those who still go on vacation with their parents, and those who don’t. As you may have noticed, we are those who do. We do a lot, in fact.
We’re heading to Portland today (Eugene actually) to celebrate my dad’s 60th birthday.
You remember the Wilmington series on vacation banter, right? If you don’t, click here to refresh your memory. Well just like last time, we’re renting a house (as a family) so we can all be together ALL THE TIME. And the exact same banter has already begun, just in a different location.
That’s pretty much how our family vacays go- same remarks are made, same activities are done (drinking and eating,) the only thing that has changed is the setting.
It always starts with an airport text from my mom. Or dad.
“Having bloodys,” texts my dad.
Followed by, “Almost missed our flight. We had to board with Cs!” –text from my mom ten minutes later.
CAN YOU IMAGINE? Boarding with the C group?!
“C is for center seat!” said a Southwest comedian once and I’ll never forget it. I mean a Southwest flight attendant! Lol, those guys. I tell you what.
Anyway, if my mom were to write a memoir it would be called, “Checking In For My Southwest Flights: a story of triumph and also heartache. A memoir by Sandy Wolfe.”
I kid, I kid.
But for real. My mom is a happy, joyful person, unless she can’t board with the A’s. Then all hell is lost. And unfortunately, she’s passed on this boarding anxiety to me. Thanks, mom. I checked in last night (ON TIME) and I still got a C.
*This is also something I’ve inherited from my mom; the need to tell everyone that A. I check in on time. and B. what my boarding position is. But it’s a disease I have to live with, so we might as well proceed.
I already know that when we get to the airport I’m going to pay $25 to upgrade to an A. I know it’s stupid, but I just can’t handle the anxiety of thinking I won’t get any overhead bin space. I just can’t do it. It’s too much. And are we in a hurry when we land, you might be wondering. No, absolutely not. Does it matter though? No, absolutely not.
I just need my suitcase stored above my head. It’s my security blanket.
Where was I? Oh yes, family vacation banter. Even though Chris and I haven’t yet arrived with the rest of the crew, I know exactly what is being discussed right now.
1. The weather.
My family LOVES to talk about the weather. What it’s doing, what it isn’t doing, what it might do, what it should do, what we don’t want it to do. We cover it all.
The first thing my dad will text upon landing will be a weather update.
“High 70s and sunny! Really nice.”
2. How the place we’re visiting is similar to a movie.
Which movie? I’m not sure yet. I’ve got to do some research so I don’t miss out like I did last time with Cape Fear. With Robert De Niro! And the daughter!
“This place reminds me exactly of (insert movie title) you know the one starring (insert famous actor/actress) we should try eat the food they ate.” *which is usually a pizza place of some sort.
3. The terrain.
Which is fun, because this one ties back to both the weather and movies! See, it all comes full circle.
But it’s time to wrap this up now as I’ve got some movie research to do. If you know anything about Eugene, please tell me below!
Dad’s 60th birthday weekend, here I come!