At the beginning of the year (which now seems ages ago) I told myself that 2014 is the year I really give this comedy thing a go. If I like it I’ll keep doing it, but if I tire of it in a few months I’ll know it’s not for me. So far I think it’s for me. Each time I grab the mic I’m getting more and more addicted.
On Monday night I went back to the spot where I was a finalist in their open-mic competition a few weeks ago. You know what I’m talking about, that contest where I mentioned it’s basically a joke to everyone else except me because I was genuinely excited to be named the “runner-up.” Well the judges were in my favor again this week because I actually won it this time around. It didn’t hurt that my mom was there clapping her very loudest when the host asked the audience who they thought should win. My mom is also a very loud “woo’r,” she gets it from her Jazzercise days I think.
My only regret about the night came when the three finalists had to answer questions from the audience and one girl raised her hand and asked, “If you could kill anyone, who would it be?” I don’t know if it’s because the girl kinda annoyed me, or just because I didn’t like the question, but without thinking I immediately responded, “I think I’d kill you right now.”
And then she got this horrible look on her face and I knew I had taken it too far. So I immediately backtracked and was like “KIDDING! I’m obviously joking. I don’t know you, I wouldn’t kill you. I wouldn’t kill anyone…” But it was bad. So to the girl from Monday night whom I said I wanted to kill, if you’re reading this I’m sorry! I just got nervous being on the spot and tried to make a funny joke but it was not funny at all (even though everyone laughed) I know it wasn’t appropriate and I genuinely feel bad. You shouldn’t be killed, I hope you have a long happy life in fact.
*Maybe someday I’ll get photos of me doing stand-up that aren’t totally blurry and grainy and 90s looking. But probably not, this isn’t a glamorous business.
Now that that’s taken care of let’s talk about last night. I went back to the place I bombed a few weeks ago and was determined to make a better impression. Not a lot of people showed up because it was -35 outside so I got a little bit longer time to do my set which was nice. I tried out some of my new jokes about how hipsters in Chicago and meth heads in Nebraska actually have a lot more in common than you’d think (love for cut-off jean shorts, very productive during the evening hours, pale skin and gaunt faces)… it’s a joke in progress right now, but there’s something there. And if you’re a hipster reading this and you’re offended it’s only because you know it’s true. And by the way why on earth are you reading a blog on blogger? Get your ass back to Tumblr.
When we were about to leave and all of the other comedians had told my mom “good bye Mrs. Wolfe!” (she was the belle of the ball last night) the host came up to me and asked if I’d be interested in being in a showcase he hosts at a comedy bar on Thursday nights. As in this would be my first paid comedy gig (not an open mic!) It won’t be for a few weeks yet because they book their comedians out ahead of time, but still. You better believe I’m excited as hell. Like Jessie Spano excited.
So to those of you who have asked where you can come see me do stand-up (and by the way thank you so much for even asking, it makes me happier than you know) I will finally tell you! I know some of you probably thought I was being a little shady because I’d always shrug it off and never officially let you know where I was telling jokes (but I promise this was only me trying to prevent you from attending the weird experience that is an open-mic) but now that I might actually have a real booking I will tell the world. When it happens… I still don’t know dates yet. I just wanted to clear that up because I’m always so thrilled when someone asks to see me and felt like such an ass when I never followed it up with a clear response. But now you know.
Happy hump day, friends. We’re almost to Friday and it’s above 15 degrees in Chicago. What more could a girl ask for?
wahoooo! add that to your rock at life trophy shelf!
That's so exciting! Way to follow your dreams and do what makes you happy! So great to see people taking life "by the horns"
Yay for you! That is so exciting! Movin' on up, girl! 🙂
I'm totally going to come see you!
Congrats girl! That is awesome! Jessie Spano excited is my new favorite adjective. "I'm so excited… I'm so scared!" Good thing Zac Morris was there.
Congrats!! You should have someone film your set so you can share it with peeps who aren't in Chicago 🙂
That girl to be honest asked you a pretty weird question…I probably would have said the same thing as you! Good luck with the gig!
http://vodkaandarose.blogspot.co.uk
Congratulations!! That is such great news! 2014 is obviously the year you'll become super famous!
Just from that blurry and grainy and 90s looking picture, I can tell you're a natural! Congrats to you lady!
Congrats!!! If that girl in the audience turns up missing I hope you realize that the cops are gonna come knocking on your door to interview as a suspect!!
Congrats girl!! And as I was reading the part about 'who would you kill' I was totally thinking I'd say YOU to the person who asked- so you're not the only one. If you're at a comedy show and you ask a question like that you should expect to get a brash/off the wall comment in return.
Danielle @ Allusional
Awesome and congratulations to you! I know you'll bring the house down. 🙂
congratulations, girl! you're doing big things!
Ah that's so exciting, congratulations!
Congrats! maybe one day I will go to a comedy show and it will be you up on the big stage!!!
Yay!!! Congratulations!! I think you're right, it definitely is the year of the Wolfe.
Say whattt! That's freaking awesome! Congrats!
xo Denise
lovelybohemian.blogspot.com
congratulations! that is so great! you are so humble (which is great and refreshing. it makes me like you even more) but i am sure you are flipping AMAZING and could totally brag if you wanted to. CONGRATS! i wish i lived in chicago so i could come see you! (i don't actually wish i lived in chicago. it sounds cold and expensive.)
laurenofthedoxey.blogspot.com
congratulations!! It's so inspiring how you're chasing your dream. I so wished I lived in Chicago so I could see you!
That's awesome! Just don't take too many caffeine pills or you'll be drooling all over Zach Morris' boombox sweater. Also, I like your mom's bow shirt 🙂
WOOHOO!!!! This is all so exciting, and I wish I was in Chicago more than anything so that I could go watch you tell inappropriate jokes. And then we could go to Eataly because I love that shizz.
I would have laughed if I heard say you'd kill that girl. Funny one you are.
Congrats on the paid gig!! Woo hoo
That's awesome!! Congrats!
That is great news! I couldn't help but giggle as I imagined the look on the girl's face when you told her you'd have her killed. Had to be classic! I am sure she knows you didnt mean it and were simply using her for good material, that stuff happens all the time in comedy right?!
Ahhh YAY!!! That's so exciting!! And I totally would have told that girl I'd kill her too. Who asks a question like that anyway? She was asking for it.
That's awesome girl! Congrats!! I want to come to a show and sit with your mom, clapping and wooing really loud! And I'm not really sure how else you could've answered that girl's question. Awkward!
Mom's are the greatest and so are paid jobs. Moving up!
um this is huge and I'm as excited for you as Jessie Spano is too. freakin awesome.
way to go!!
Please post a photo of yourself (IG will do) doing the "Super Star" pose (Molly Shannon's pose)!! This is awesome and you deserve it. Congrats! I can't wait to hear how this goes!
GOOO you!
Yay! That is so freaking exciting 😀 Congratulations!
Preppy, that is really going to be you up on that stage.(Saved by the Bell quote). Just happen to watch that show every morning with my kids. Anywhoooo…congrats and tell your mom she looks great!
OH CONGRATS TAYLOR!!!!!!!!! How awesome for you!
wooop woop, working on up! How awesome!
Holy cow! So awesome. I can't help it…I laughed out loud when I read your response to that girl. Too funny!
Get back to Tumblr – favorite line of the blog today. Congrats on your paid gig!
Congrats on getting the W and the gig!
That is SOOO exciting! You deserve it! I wish I was in Chicago, because I would come check out your show…and take lots of grainy photos of you:)
jessie spano excited ahahah i just love you.
Ummmm holy bologna! … Funny bone when you’re back?!
YAY! I'm totally coming!
Way to go! I love standup. Some of my family members have gotten into standup and it is SO great. I wish I had the guts or enough confidence in my humor to give it a try. I'll stick to writing for now 😉
Been blog stalking you for awhilllleee now and I love love love your style.
xoxo Birdie
cleanenoughlaundry.blogspot.com
Congrats on the paid gig! That's so exciting!!!!! 😀
You are SOOOOOOOOO (expletive) awesome!!! Seriously. WHY DO WE NOT LIVE IN THE SAME PLACE? You were meant for me. I am in love.
Congratulations on the paid gig, that's fantastic! I JUST started doing stand up and it's SO incredibly scary and exciting at the same time! Have you thought about doing (or maybe have already done) a post of tips for doing standup? I would be curious to hear that! Also – have you considered posting video of one of your sets? I would love to see it! Thanks for all the inspiration!
Tarreyn
Tarreynland.com
LOL omg, when you said "Jessie Spano excited" I totally pictured the scene you were referencing. When she takes those pills (speed?) and is like, "I'm so excitedddd…I'm so exciteddd…I'm….so….scared" lol oh man. What a show.
I just found your blog tonight. Congrats on the showcase!
I'm going to be in the midwest during the summer, so if you haven't gotten bored of comedy (plllleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase don't!) by then, I'll definitely make a trip to Chicago to see a show 🙂
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