The Questions I Ask Myself

Wednesday, July 15, 2015


 Dear Self,

Why do you willingly do things that make life harder than is has to be?

This can include but is not limited to:

-unloading the dishwasher through out the entire day rather than all at once
-not buying stamps when you know you need them
-taking 4 days to fold one load of laundry
-glaring at the dirty stove rather than just cleaning the damn thing
-not responding to emails, but instead reading Facebook comments that have nothing to do with you
-thinking about everything you have to do rather than just doing it
-sleeping past your alarm, at this point why are you even setting it?

Sleeping too late in the morning throws off your entire day. We have the same pep talk every single night. It's starting to get old. Get up by 7:00 (like normal adults do) go for a quick run/walk with Harlow and attack the workday by 8:00 a.m. It's really not hard. You did it when your were sixteen when you had to be at school by 6:45 a.m. some days... Don't let teenager you be better.

On another note, enough with the torture reading. Your Facebook newsfeed is now 95% animal shelters. Why? What happened to the good old days of creeping on actual people that you thought were ridiculous? Remember those days? They made you cry a lot less. We both know it doesn't help anybody when you read 20+ articles a day about animals being abused or animals needing help in shelters. It sends you into that damn hate cycle which takes away time from doing things that actually help. Less sulking, more doing.

Dear Self,

What is most important to your right now? Right now in this very moment? Then focus on that. Your attention span is less than ideal lately and you're only hurting yourself. Pretty sure you've started ten different to-do lists since Monday and haven't been able to finish one before you get distracted and already move on to something else. And I mean finish writing the list, never mind actually doing what's on the list.

Do your social media work, t-shirt packing, fiction writing, blog posts and move on. A ten year old would kill to have your schedule.

And speaking of blogging, you've had the privilege of working with a lot of great bloggers, so why dwell on the one girl who wasn't so great? So what if she took a shirt and then never posted about it like she said she would? MOVE ON. It's just one damn shirt. It's the principle, I know. She makes bloggers in general look bad, I get it. But you're being petty. Hopefully this one little passive aggressive message right here will make you feel better. Does it? Okay, good. Now go get an ice cream cone and get over it, little girl.

Also, perhaps it's time you seek a part time job outside of the house where you can work around actual people... I mean I've just written this entire post in third person? Or is it fourth? Or what in the hell is it? I'm not sure. People might start to worry. Your social skills are going down hill once again.

And one last thing self, get over the fact Ben and Jen broke up. It's done, stop dwelling. They've moved on now you need to, as well.

But I can'ttttttttttttttttttt.

24 comments:

  1. this is so hilarious. and if it makes you feel better, i'm still reeling in the ben and jen breakup too!

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  2. You and I are soooo alike. Except more shelter animals and less t shirt selling.

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  3. Bahaha this is awesome. I have been staring at my oven lately too....

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  4. Bahaha this is awesome. I have been staring at my oven lately too....

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  5. I'm just happy that Ben is bakc on the market. I always that Jen was little plain, but I'm partial to blondes haha

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  6. This is funny because it's so true. i have a pile of laundry a few feet to my left right now that I did on Sunday. i just can't. also that girl is a bitch. and I am personally offended for you.

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  7. I could write myself a letter and it wouldn't be nearly as funny as this, even though it would pretty much say the same thing.

    I mean, WHY is it so hard to just fold the damn laundry??

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  8. This is me right now. I'm also working from home all day, so it gets easy to find distractions and not actually get anything done!

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  9. Laundry. Dishes. Cleaning. Pretty much the exact same thing goes on over at my house!

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  10. I am doing laundry right now. The same laundry pile I've needed to do for
    over a week. Except now, I'm going on a trip tomorrow and instead of doing the fun stuff like have lunch with my friend, I am stuck doing laundry instead. Procrastination Sucks, except when I'm actually wasting the time scrolling through Instagram.

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  11. We are the same person. Thanks for the letter.

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  12. lololol love this. Stupid girl, some people are just asses.

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  13. We all need to give ourselves a pep talk sometimes! I would be super frustrated about the girl taking the shirt and not blogging about it too!

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  14. I put on my weekly to do list every week "work out at least once" and I argue with myself (in my head) all day about it, like "oh but I cant before coffee" and then "oh but now I cant after coffee"...

    But I do usually empty the dishwasher in one quick swoop. I hate seeing that little light on because I'm like "UH I have no time" and then it takes me less than 2 minutes lol...

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  15. The average amount of times a load of laundry goes through a dryer cycle in my house is 868. And then I complain because the clothes are wrinkled.

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  16. We all have such questions we ask ourselves, not exactly those questions but questions like why do you so distracted Jo-Anne when you go to the toilet the bath doesn't need cleaning at that very moment, or why at the age of 52 do you still feel you need to ask permission to do some things your old enough to be able to do what you want without asking permission he is your husband not your boss

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  17. Wait. Ben & Jerry broke up? I live in Australia. We get B&J here (it's $12/pint), so it's a real treat. But, we don't get news about B&J like this very sad news you've just shared with me. I think I need to treat myself to some B&J today.

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  18. I need to give myself a stern talking to. I need to wake up early, go on a run, do the counterfull of dishes, wash my laundry. But instead I stay up watching GG and oversleep and arrive at work with hair unbrushed. I just want to snooze.

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  19. Ha! This is great. I love it! However, I'm STILL not over the fact that Brad cheated on Jennifer with Angelina. I'm still very bitter about that even though the involved parties have moved on. Tee hee!

    Mandie ~ http://badbrewpack.blogspot.com/

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  20. Bahahaha you always crack me up! "Don't let teenager you be better" - I need this as a print on my wall!

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  21. Ben had what appeared to be his wedding ring on at the ESPY's...

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  22. About the T-shirt- email said blogger and ask when she thinks she'll have the post up. I've done that before. Not bad intentions at all, just totally spaced it in the middle of busy life (I know it's lame to always talk about how busy we are). I felt horrible when the person emailed me and posted pics right away... just needed a little reminder. Most people aren't malicious just stupid.

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