I have another post already written for today. Like most of my others it's pretty silly and sarcastic.
But I'm not in the mood to post it right now. Instead it feels a little like Ground Hog day to me because I'm watching the news about yet another school shooting. It's the 45th school shooting we've had in 2015. FORTY FIVE. I've checked this number like ten times because it just doesn't seem right to me.
I remember Columbine like it was yesterday. I was in 6th grade and it scared the hell out of me. For the next few weeks I jumped at every loud noise I heard in school. I felt safer on the street than I did in my classroom. I had nightmares that the shooters were going to get me.
But I got over it.
Until I started working in high schools for my first job after college. I was in a school and had left about an hour before they went into lockdown because a student brought a gun in and was waving it around making threats. He didn't shoot anyone, but it was enough to scare me again.
And then the Aurora shooting happened. Movie theaters make me nervous now too. In Chicago you have to get a pat down and someone checks your bags. I like that they do this. It makes it a little better.
But I still think about the possibility of a shooter every single time I go to a movie. Right when I sit down I look for the exits and make a mini plan in my head of what I would do.
I'll probably get over it with time.
Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just keep adding places in my head that make me nervous as these mass shootings keep happening.
How bad does it have to get before something changes I wonder? The "prayers and thoughts" are appreciated but I feel like it's time for more than that.
I don't have an end to this post. I'll go on with my day like normal, I'll post stupid photos on Instagram of Harlow and coffee and scarves, and it will be fine.
I'll move on from this just like everyone else will who wasn't directly affected.
We'll move on from it until it happens again. And then we'll all just go into repeat mode. Because like President Obama said," mass shootings have become routine in our country."
But routines can change. And it's time for this one to stop.