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Friday, October 2, 2015

I have another post already written for today. Like most of my others it's pretty silly and sarcastic.

But I'm not in the mood to post it right now. Instead it feels a little like Ground Hog day to me because I'm watching the news about yet another school shooting. It's the 45th school shooting we've had in 2015. FORTY FIVE. I've checked this number like ten times because it just doesn't seem right to me.

I remember Columbine like it was yesterday. I was in 6th grade and it scared the hell out of me. For the next few weeks I jumped at every loud noise I heard in school. I felt safer on the street than I did in my classroom. I had nightmares that the shooters were going to get me.

But I got over it.

Until I started working in high schools for my first job after college. I was in a school and had left about an hour before they went into lockdown because a student brought a gun in and was waving it around making threats. He didn't shoot anyone, but it was enough to scare me again.

And then the Aurora shooting happened. Movie theaters make me nervous now too. In Chicago you have to get a pat down and someone checks your bags. I like that they do this. It makes it a little better.

But I still think about the possibility of a shooter every single time I go to a movie. Right when I sit down I look for the exits and make a mini plan in my head of what I would do.

I'll probably get over it with time.

Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just keep adding places in my head that make me nervous as these mass shootings keep happening.

How bad does it have to get before something changes I wonder? The "prayers and thoughts" are appreciated but I feel like it's time for more than that.

I don't have an end to this post. I'll go on with my day like normal, I'll post stupid photos on Instagram of Harlow and coffee and scarves, and it will be fine.

I'll move on from this just like everyone else will who wasn't directly affected.

We'll move on from it until it happens again. And then we'll all just go into repeat mode. Because like President Obama said," mass shootings have become routine in our country."

But routines can change. And it's time for this one to stop.

29 comments:

  1. 100% agree. As a nation, we have done too little for far too long.

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  2. I agree but my solution is different from Obama's. If a good law-abiding citizen in that classroom had also been carrying, maybe so many people would not be dead. My heart goes out to everyone involved - it is definitely happening way too much :(

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    1. I appreciate you for sharing a very very unpopular opinion. Thank you for being much braver than me.

      This is a truly saddening situation that is far too common. Something needs to change, but I don't necessarily think that thing is m what many others are thinking it is.

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    2. What sucks is that their "gun free zone" really means "only criminals are allowed to have guns in this zone", leaving law abiders with no protection

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  3. When the Newtown/Sandy Hook shooting happen, the world stopped. I was in the mall christmas shopping and women were walking around Macy's, crying on their cell phones. I felt sick. I watched the news that night with a lump stuck permanently in my throat. It was devastating. Yesterday, a coworker said casually, "damn another school shooting." Someone asked where and she said, "Oregon." There was barely a reaction. It was quiet for a minute, some people went online to read about it, and then? Business as usual. No one really reacted. We've become desensitized and numb to this stuff and THAT is just as scary to me as the shootings.

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  4. It's sad that hearing this type of news isn't shocking anymore. I too, felt the same way last time I went to a movie theater. This post is spot on.

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  5. As a Canadian, I am still shocked every time I hear about these instances. But my American coworker just seems to shrug everything off. Like when there was the shooting of the journalist and cameraman a few weeks ago, he just said "well it's only two people. It's usually way worse."

    I don't get it.

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  6. I live in South Dakota, where I figured a school shooting would never happen. Then this past week in a school only twenty minutes away from where I went to high school, a student brought a gun to school and shot the principle. It completely blew my mind and directly effected many of those at my university which is only an hour away.

    The fact that this is "routine" in our lives now saddens me to no end. And I don't believe letting there be more people walking around with guns is the answer. I believe that the use of gun safes, psych evaluations before purchase, and proper restrictions would be a better avenue.

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  7. Spot on. I was in 6th grade too during Columbine, and feel the same way about theaters. And wonder why I have horrific anxiety. once again, thoughts and prayers go out to everyone involved. Wonderful written, Taylor.

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  8. I can't agree with you more. I remember sitting in 7th grade history and watching Columbine on TV. I still get chills and tears well in my eyes when I think back on that tragedy that is the new "normal" in America. We are the most progressive country and yet senseless tragedies like these shootings continue to happen. I don't go to the movies anymore, call me a worry wart, but I am too uneasy. I also don't like being stuck in large crowds. I call it claustrophobia but really it's the sense that I don't know anyone and anyone one of them could wish to harm complete strangers. It is time for an end to this. The mentally ill need treatment, pride in being American needs to be taught again and maybe we can move forward and not fear our daily lives so much.

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  9. I also now am very eery whenever I go into a movie theatre, it gives me the creeps if I think too long about it

    xoxo
    rkush.blogspot.com

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  10. I have so much to say about this. I got a little anxious as I read your post--thinking it might be a huge post in favor of gun control...and even though I'm not sue what your stance is on that, I'm glad this post was open--I think we need to stop assuming the solution before discussing the REAL issues. I used to be in favor of gun control and I'm not anymore. As a person who has held both viewpoints, I know that both sides care very deeply about lives stolen due to gun violence--they just have differing perspectives on what to do about it. The unfortunate thing is that when something like this happens, it divides--one side or the other--blaming the stance. We spend so much time spewing hatred at each other for our ideas and beliefs--assuming that one side "cares" more than the other--and that is the problem right there, in my opinion. We've stopped respecting one another and we've stopped listening. Maybe gun control isn't the answer--maybe it is--but maybe it has nothing to do with guns at all--maybe by treating the guns we're treating the symptom and not the disease. Maybe it has more to do with violence in general--which is the actual disease. Why can't we step outside of ourselves for a minute and ask the bigger question, "Why has our country become so hateful? Why has violence increased so much?" And then "WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?" In our schools? In our communities? In our families? I think we will find many answers that need addressing and that will take too much time to address--so we want a fix now and we can't seem to agree. I'm desperate for a fix now, too, but I'm afraid if we don't fix the bigger problem(s)--or start working on fixing them now--it's going to get so much worse--guns or not.

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  11. I went to some event with a big crowd a few months ago, one where they didn't check my bag or pat anyone down, and this fear just popped into my head that someone could just start shooting. I've had the same thought in a movie theater when a guy came in alone wearing his hood...I was like, "Why is he alone? Why is he wearing a hood inside? Why are his hands in his pockets?" I don't like feeling like that. And I don't like thinking about sending my future children to school when our society has this issue either.

    I'm from Oregon, and the news was shocking and upsetting...but as upsetting as it was, it wasn't upsetting ENOUGH. I can just feel that I wasn't shocked or upset at the level that I should be for this kind of thing. Because it is happening constantly.

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  12. I thought Obama was on his game yesterday with his speech. I think the right to bear arms means something completely different than I did in the 1700s. I am all for that right, but it's obvious that something needs to change.

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  13. Spot on. I saw that number too and it made my insides squirm. This is not ok.

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  14. Mental illness is a serious problem
    In our country that is not being adequately addressed. Treat the problem not the symptoms. Just my two cents.

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  15. Such an important post, and so many insightful comments as well. I feel just as everyone else here has expressed. I went to go see Mission Impossible a couple of weeks after a middle school friend was in the theater during the Lafayette shooting and was so anxiety-ridden during the entire movie. The guy sitting next to me was so fidgety and kept on reaching for his bag, and I was sure something bad was going to happen. I hate that we feel this way going to school, to the movies, to the mall. We are living in a state of fear, and that is the saddest thing I've ever heard.

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  16. thank you for this post. i too was in 6th grade and columbine was 15 minutes away from my elementary school, where my best friend's older brother attended. thankfully he survived but it rattled our community deeply. it was terrifying and it's so sad that it's not getting better. now i live in oregon...it's almost like i've become numb to it all which is completely inappropriate. things need to change because those thoughts and prayers only go so far and do not help the families of the people who have been murdered in a 'safe place.'

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  17. Agreed. It's time for this routine to be forgotten. Move on to something positive!

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  18. Another blogger and I were discussing the significance and relevance of the music video for Jeremy by Pearl Jam even 20+ years later. I found myself typing "at least in the video, the kid only killed himself and not others." Then, I stared at what I typed. I was impacted by the fact that SUICIDE was considered a better alternative when I was comparing it to a mass shooting. When suicide is considered a better alternative to anything, there is a BIG problem. Huge. Massive.

    As an American living in Australia, I am often asked by Aussies about gun violence, gun control, the 2nd amendent, etc. It is a problem that Australians can't fathom. I wish, as an American, we hadn't experienced SO many shootings that I'd be baffled by the problem myself. Instead, it seems like a part of our culture that some have just accepted. Shame on us.

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  19. It's unbelievable how normal these shootings are in our society. We live in such a sad world, and it's seriously time for a change.
    Morgan | theradwife.blogspot.com

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  20. I was younger when Columbine happened, but I remember how big of a deal it was. It's crazy that it's become just another bad thing that we see on a regular basis... Political issues aside, there are some major societal issues we need to work on as a country.

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