7 Photos You'll See On Instagram This Weekend

Friday, February 12, 2016

We're just having fun!

1. The Donuts In My Lap. 

What you want it to say: Look at me eating donuts! Love Saturday! Cheat day! Giggles.

But in reality: You walked to get those donuts with your dog and on the way back he ran into his neighborhood enemy #1, Charles the large Poodle, and he nearly knocked you over when he suddenly pulled at the leash too hard. He spilled your coffee tumbler all over your coat in the process and you screamed DAMN IT HARLOW! And then everyone looked because they think you're a terrible dog mom. But you're not, you're just trying to get some damn donuts to take a damn instagram to show how much you LOVE SATURDAYS.

2. Coffee In Bed Again!




What you want it so say: Look how cozy I am drinking coffee on my clean white blanket. But my funky socks mean I also have a touch of silly! He he. Life is fun and silly.

But in reality: It's 3 p.m. on a Wednesday and you have to take a photo to show off these socks because someone sent them to you and you're like, ya I like socks. And I haven't bought new socks forever because I'm cheap, so sure, send me socks. But now that you have to take this photo you're regretting it and feeling stupid because you don't drink coffee in bed wearing funky socks on a white blanket. No one has time for that shit. But for this photo, you suck it up and pretend that you do. Also, the coffee is five hours old.

3. The Showing Off My Workout Gear.


shoes.
What you want it to say: Ready to have a healthy and happy weekend after this awesome Saturday workout! Look how much I have my life together and am not hungover.

But in reality: you haven't worked out on a Saturday since your mom made you go to her Jazzercise class with her in 1993 because she couldn't find a babysitter. Instead you're just sitting on this rug because you're proud of the new yoga pants you cant wait to wear around your house all day. Also, you're hungover.

4. Cozy and Happy In My White Sweater and Ripped Jeans.


What you want it to say: Your guess is as good as mine here. I don't actually know what was going on. Basically I saw some other fashion blogger take a similar photo and in my head I thought, damn that sweater looks happy. I'm going to reenact it. Another swing and a miss on my end. It happens.

But in reality: NO ONE KNOWS.

5. Look At Me Brunching!


shirt.
What you want it to say: Just another casual weekend morning being a casual gal heading to brunch with a big old grin on my face! Everything about life and brunch is FUN.

But in reality: You made your fiance take this photo and 100 others just like it and got mad at him because he couldn't get the right shot where you didn't have a total darfus look on your face. Also, the owners of the Chinese restaurant in your alley like to watch your brick wall photos and now call you "brick wall girl" when they see you approaching ....

6. Oh hells.


white kicks.
No shame on this pic at all. I just got this shirt in I am super excited about it. It comes in man sizes as well and Chris and I are definitely doing a photo shoot this weekend. He can't wait.

I love it because 1. I'm going to wear it to my Bloody Mary brunch the day after our wedding. And 2. I'm giving it to all of my "old married friends" as well. And my parents. And my grandparents. It's a shirt that everyone can love.

Married Always and Forever. You betcha.

Happy Valentines Day! I'll be liking the hell out of all of your flower pics on Instagram all weekend long! Per the usual, @heleneinbetween is already setting the bar high with this one. I'm not even going to try and compete.

7. FLOWERS!


29 comments:

  1. I find it so refreshing to actually be laughing out loud when reading something online. everyone TRIES. SO. HARD. (myself included) and these hit the damn nail on the head L. O. L. Funny AF

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  2. You nail it every time. Seriously!!!! Thanks for the laugh!!!!!

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  3. Hahha love it! You're hilarious, as always! Do they really call you the brick wall girl!? Hahahhah! It's nice to know that beautiful pictures take some work! And it might be why all my Instagram photos are blurry and not cute because I do nothing. I should really step up my game. And probably buy a white fur rug. It's ridiculous how good it makes your photos look! Not even joking.

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  4. this is the best -- I needed it today. you are hilarious AF and real and I love it. also, I totally want a pair of the married AF shirts to wear on vacay somewhere, I will just have to give my husband enough booze to play along :)

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  5. Hahaha this post made me smile! It is SO SO true! I love all the pictures either way, too. :)

    elainea
    toast the girl almighty

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  6. Thank you for saying what all of us are always thinking (and doing, guilty as charged). Now BRB, getting donuts and a white rug...

    Coming Up Roses

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  7. Ha! I loved this post!

    Her Heartland Soul
    Herheartlandsoul.com

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  8. "Brick Wall Girl" hahahah....dying!

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  9. Do you have Single AF shirts? I need one in my life... thanks lol

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  10. The damn donut pictures get me every time. I really don't like donuts that much but they look so good. I feel left out. I need a white rug. Thank God I have Prime.

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  11. You seriously make my day when I read your blog! I died at "Brick wall girl!" Been there, too many times.

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  12. This was hilarious. You're Instagram posts are my favorite!

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  13. None of us may have any idea what's going on in your sweater picture, but all of us want that sweater.

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  14. The honesty in this post almost made me cry. I've recently been feeling like everyone is "doing life" better than me. This post gives me hope that nobody has it all figured out!

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  15. Those donuts looks so yummy! Love the humour in this post. Enjoy your weekend :)

    http://www.mintnotion.com

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  16. I love when you do these, they crack me up!

    PS - I love the funky socks! :)

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  17. I feel like my husband and I should rock those every year for our anniversary, because #adulting.

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  18. My husband got me the "Hang with my Dog" shirt for Christmas but now I am hardcore crushing on that "Married AF" T! The fashionista mind of Taylor never disappoints! That's going on my wishlist!!

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  19. I nearly just spit out my coffee all over the place. Especially this part (SO accurate): "You made your fiance take this photo and 100 others just like it and got mad at him because he couldn't get the right shot where you didn't have a total darfus look on your face. Also, the owners of the Chinese restaurant in your alley like to watch your brick wall photos and now call you "brick wall girl" when they see you approaching ...."

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