Wedding Advice I Wish Someone Gave Me: Do's and Don'ts

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Last year at this time I was making daily trips to BHLDN in an effort to find last minute wedding accessories.

Jewelry, shoes, cards, gifts, what else did I need? I didn't know and that was the problem. But there was always something I came home with, swearing to myself, "this is the final wedding thing I'm buying..." (It never was.) Up until the day of our ceremony I had packages being delivered to the resort where we were staying in Steamboat.

I've stopped thinking about our wedding as much as I used to, which I'm pretty sure is a good thing. It was getting kind of unhealthy there for awhile.

The post wedding blues hit me harder than expected. I'm not sure what this says about me about as a person, probably nothing that great... I just wasn't given much warning about the come-down after it's all over, so Brides-To-Be, here I am giving you a heads up, the days, weeks, even a few months after the "best day of your life" will be kinda hard. If you're like me, you may feel a little blue and sad and you're not sure why. It's like you're homesick, or missing an old friend.

I think it's because you put so much time and effort and emotion (and daydreaming) into this one day and then boom it's over.

Almost every night last year, I would go to bed fantasizing about how great our wedding week in Steamboat would be. That's weird, yes? Probably something I shouldn't admit in public like this. But it's the truth. I just couldn't wait to have all of family and friends in the same place.

And it lived up to it.

But before I fall down the rabbit hole, my intention for this post today was to give you a quick list of Do's and Don'ts for your wedding day. Things I'm glad I did, things I wish I didn't do.

Do: get a videographer.
We went back and forth on this. Does it really matter? Is it worth? Should we just skip it...
I'm so happy we didn't skip it. The day goes by too damn fast and you'll wish you had more than just photos and memories. You can see our highlight reel here. Ross Wooten, the videographer we went with, was amazing and affordable (and he travels!)

Don't: Wait until the last minute to write your cards and wrap your gifts.
I did this and it was so annoying. It was the last thing I wanted to do which was unfortunate because I usually love writing cards. But I was so busy and overwhelmed, I didn't care as much as I wished I did. My suggestion- take care of all this 1-2 weeks before.

Do: give your phone to one of your bridesmaids and have her handle all incoming texts and calls the day of. Give it to someone authoritative. I've read it's poor etiquette to text a bride on her wedding day with anything other than well wishes (and I completely agree, it may sound diva like, but it's true) and yet people will still do it.

what time does this start? how do we get there? where should we park? can I get a ride? can I bring my horse? can I wear a clown outfit? I don't like chicken. is it open bar? what is a wedding?

*wedding guests, DON'T TEXT THE BRIDE on her wedding day. see how heated I get about this one? Even a year later...*

Do: plan for plenty of photo time. Plan extra, in fact. We did not and we felt rushed and this is another thing that still kinda irritates me looking back.

Don't: wear your hair down if your ceremony and reception are outdoors in the middle of the summer. But if you insist on it like I did, just don't look in a mirror... I had no idea I looked like a hot mess one hour in.
*edit: do whatever the hell you want regarding hair and makeup. only you know what makes you feel like a knockout- whatever that is, do that! 

Do: take photos with your bridesmaids on a bed drinking champagne. Why? Because it was FUN. Shorty sets from Love Ophelia and I still wear mine to this day.

In fact, make a list of the exact photos you want. Scan pinterest for your favs and send them to your photographer. (I did this.) Sound crazy? Maybe a little. But I got the shots I wanted.

Don't: restrict yourself on having fun because you don't want to look tired in your pics. Guys, that's why we have photoshop. The week leading up to our wedding I got about three hours of sleep every night because my adrenaline was pumping all day, every day. I don't regret a thing (as far as fun goes.) It was the best week of my life.

Do: mental present checks with yourself. As in, "Taylor, are you 100% present right now? If not, float back to earth, please." Sounds weird, but I did this with myself the entire week of my wedding. It forced me to be 100% in the moment. It didn't make time slow down (which I hoped it might) but it allowed me to really live in it and soak up as much as I could.

And that's about enough for today. With our one year anniversary approaching I'll probably slip back into wedding mode and write 100 more posts about it. Are we all cool with this? Great! In the meantime, if you want more wedding posts just look below!


  1. TAY I NEEDED THIS. I'm like 4 months away, and I'm looking for like real wedding advice. None of the other crap that I see. This is great. Please keeping posts things like this. (Or just email me cuz that would be cool too)

  2. I think it's a great tip you mentioned about restricting yourself just to look good in photos. It's something I'd definitely, definitely do, as much as I hate it admit it. I mean, I do a lot of non-fun things for the 'Gram now anyway. I really have to learn to let go.

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog

  3. Thanks for this! My fiancé and I are getting married next week in St. Lucia with about 20 guests, and this advice is perfect!

  4. Same same same as Ashley. 4 months away and in need of some realness. Love you so much, Taylor!

  5. I watched your highlight reel and absolutely loved it!! I wish we could have heard your vows though haha but I wouldn't haven't wanted to be mic'd eifher. Tomorrow is my 5 year anniversary and it has flown by. We had a wedding weekend bc we got married in Croatia. Our 3 min video is here, if you'd like to see:

  6. Extra time is SO CRUCIAL. See my Insta comment. Ugh so friggin bitter.

  7. Considering I'm one week out from the day I've been fantasizing about since I was 5, thank you for this. I needed to read this today. And might go back to read it every day for the next days. And I will hold back my tears that it's over the following day, while wearing my married AF tshirt :-)

  8. Love this my wedding is oct 13!!

  9. I am approaching my 1 year anniversary as well 7/24/16!!! I absolutely agree with all of your do's and dont's 100000000 percent!!! Can't wait for the rest of the blog posts!! ;) #MarriedAF club

  10. I went through the after wedding blues too. As soon as our reception was over and we got to the hotel I almost started crying because I was so sad it was over. I spent almost a year and a half planning and looking forward to it that once it was over I kind of felt like well what now, no more parties? So it's totally normal to be bummed once it's over.

  11. I got engaged last month and I'm currently in the middle of feeling constantly overwhelmed by all the choices and things I have to do, but I love this list. I especially love the mental presence check. I'm going to steal that for sure, maybe even just for all the time I have leading up to the wedding too.

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