Friday, October 31, 2014

How To Have A Great (Blogger) Halloween


Get the whiteboards ready gals, there's going to be a lot of staged photo opps today.

There's no time to waste, if you want to have the best (documented) Halloween you have to start the minute you get up, so let's just get right into it.

1. Start your morning with a Halloween latte.
Halloween Latte = a latte where the foam art features a black cat wearing a witch hat, riding on a broomstick, outside a pumpkin patch, outside of an apple farm, with a Hocus Pocus movie sitting on the horizon. Or something of the like.

2. Choose from 1 of the 400 Halloween recipes you pinned on to your Spooooooky Treats Pinterest board and stare at it for hours deciding how you're going to make it. I suggest the pretzel sticks covered in almond bark wearing miniature shag blond wigs and zebra jackets, holding a tiny microphone, known as Pretzel Rod Stewarts.

3. Pause for a quick fall tree photo sesh.


4. Burn off those Pinterest calories and head to the gym! Make sure to take a cute selfie of your orange bra top that says "boo" in jewels right across your chest and let everyone know what your Halloween workout playlist consists of.... Monster Mash anyone?

5. Get out the glitter, it's time for crafting fun! Grab those miniature pumpkins you bought at Trader Joes and cover that shit in orange and gold glitter. And then cover everything else in your house in orange and gold glitter. Why not? It's FUN.

6. Pause for a quick fall tree photo sesh.


7. Need a break? Hop in bed for a little rest. And by rest I obviously mean a cute photo of your legs and striped socks on top of your cozy beautiful bedding.

8. Find a baby and dress it in a costume you made by hand. If you can't find a baby grab a dog. Or a pumpkin.

9. Pause for a quick fall tree photo sesh.


10. Grab a big leaf from the ground and turn it into a cool phone cover!

11. Then make a fall smoothie with your Ninja Juicer. Pumpkin seeds included obvi!

12. Fall tree photo sesh. You have to! What if all the leaves are gone tomorrow? WHAT IF?


13. Just about time to put on your costume... Make sure to grab photos of it from all angles before putting it on.

14. Costume reveal!!! Instagram is going to blow up today, I can barely contain myself.

15. Relax into the night with a good pumpkin beer and a good pumpkin candle.

And that my friends, is how you have a great Bloggerween. And yes, all fall tree photos are mine. Because I'm a blogger and I'm proud of it.

I hope everyone has a great Halloween and an even better weekend! I won't be dressing up this year, but if you'd like to see photos of Harlow's costume follow along @taylorgracewolfe. Hint: he goes as the same thing every year... Harbiscuit...


*PS- Huge thanks to everyone who participated in #Blogtober14 with Helene and I. You did it! Woo hoo! And an even bigger thanks to Helene for everything she did for it. Which was pretty much everything.... THANK YOU HELENE!

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Thursday, October 30, 2014

The Facts Of Tay (at the moment)

Does anyone else find these posts not only easy to write, but also easy to read? I know they're kind of a cop-out for a post but whenever I see someone has written something like this I always click over. Or is that just me?

Anyway.......


1. This photo was taken in Brooklyn last week. It makes me wonder if I've ever happened to pass through a photo that's appeared on a blog...

2. I'm watching Home Alone and eating a bowl of ice cream as I write this and it's wonderful. Bring on the holidays.

3. I love stuff with my name on it, I just can't help it. I was the kid in middle school who had a pair of bright yellow NIKES that were specially made to say "Tay 22."

So I'm pretty obsessed with my new gold plate name necklace from Centime as you can tell... I wear it all the time.


Use the code DAILY20TAY and you get 20% off your purchase through the month of November. Here's a close-up in case you forgot my name.


4. I have no desire to dress up for Halloween tomorrow. I do however have a strong desire to sit on my stoop with a glass of wine, Harlow next to me (in a costume of course) handing out candy to all of the wealthy children of Lincoln Park.

5. I still can't get over Renee Zellweger's new face. I just can't.

6. I live in my Home Tees. I own a few now and they're all insanely comfortable and the proceeds go to help multiple sclerosis research.


7. This weekend I plan to do absolutely nothing and I am so excited about it. Doing nothing is the best.

8. I just finished Lena Dunham's book. It was wonderful and relatable and I want to be best-friends with her.

9. I tried a macaron for the first time last night. I don't get the hype. I'd rather have an Oreo.

10. And lastly, I am currently obsessed with my new red yoga pants from Sweat Ethic. You just can't beat a high quality pair of yoga pants (whether you're actually doing yoga, or just wearing them all day everyday just because...) They are smooth and form fitting and the waist band can either be worn high if you're a grandma like me, or you can fold it over and wear it a little lower.


And shout-out to my Nebraska pals, Sweat Ethic is a start-up from Nebraska! They even work with design students from UNL to give real life experience. I pulled this pic from their site to show the Nebraska pants they have as well. They can be found here.


And that's that. Time to take on this day. Tomorrow marks the last day of Blogtober14! If you've never joined in, why not get crazy and link-up for our final day tomorrow.

Tomorrow's prompt: Halloween Costume reveal, or anything Halloween related. Or anything at all really. Let's just get weird. I might make a vlog...

The Daily Tay Blogtober14
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Wednesday, October 29, 2014

The Mooning Incident- Day 29

Let's go way back here and talk about the first time I really recall being embarrassed. This is an old old memory, might be one of my oldest in fact. But because I was so ashamed, it's one I haven't let go of quite yet.

It's 1990, I'm just three years old, most of my days are spent at my mom's Jazzercise studio downtown. No one's really surprised my mom owned a Jazzercise studio, right? I didn't think so. My brother and sister are in school (thank God) so I get to spend every day to myself in the studio while my mom teaches the afternoon classes. Unlike most children, I loved being alone. The other kids just didn't play "right" so I enjoyed a good playroom all to myself. Sidenote, I can truly remember going over to friends' houses when I was little and I'd sometimes actually ask them to go play in the other room so I could play with their toys by myself. If you're not going to play Barbies correctly and according to the wonderful script I have planned out, then just don't play at all. Am I right or am I right?

Anyway, I spent my days at Jazzercise day dreaming, coloring shitty pictures of cats, and eating pounds and pounds of greasy tator-tots from Tastee Treat.

One particular day I happened to notice a lot of people walking by the front window and a new fun idea suddenly popped into my tiny bizarre brain. Why not give these people a show?

So for reasons I still can't explain, I decided to pull down my pants and sit in the front window with my bare ass cheeks pressed against the glass.

I was so nonchalant about it that from where my mom was instructing on her stage, it appeared I was just chilling in the front window like I usually did. And so I sat there like that for a good twenty minutes just mooning everyone who happened to be strolling downtown Norfolk. It was all fun and games until my mom's class was over and someone who had left already came back inside and narked on me.

"Um your daughter's ass is hanging out in the front window." Maybe the lady who told on me said that, maybe she didn't. I'll never know.

Regardless my mom immediately yanked me from my own peep show and scolded me in front of all of the other women who hadn't left yet. It was humiliating and shameful and no one seemed to appreciate the humor in it like I had hoped they would.

I wouldn't be this embarrassed again for a long time. Not until my dad would find me reading his Dennis Rodman book "Bad As I Want To Be" alone in my room a few years later.

*Just to give you some reference here's a photo of me from around this time, so I'm clearly going through some stuff...


*Tomorrow's prompt: Facts About You!
The Daily Tay Blogtober14

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Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Style Tips I've Learned From My Mom

Today's Blogtober prompt is: Things I'm Superstitious About. It also happens to be my mom's birthday and I'm superstitious about not writing a birthday post for her (the repercussions just wouldn't be good.) So here we go.


1. Chic gold rope necklace over a black turtle neck: classy as hell.

And can we just note the fact my mom is only thirty here yet she has three children surrounding her? THREE. Will this be me in three years? I think we both know the answer to that. I still feel like that chubby cheeked little sweaty child in the photo who appears to have been the only one who partied a little too hard for this bday celebration.


2. When in doubt, always match your earrings to your shirt.
Also note the gold rope necklace again. It's a staple for any style, any time of the day, any floral tank top.



3. Fanny-pack or die.
And also a gold rope necklace over a t-shirt.


4. Matching polka dot shirt and skirt combo, never fails.
And a gold rope necklace for good measure.

Also you might notice I'm just casually holding a pair of jelly shoes like any busy gal would after a long day on their feet. And my sister is clearly plotting to kill that poor baby.



5. Relaxed striped v-neck for outside wear.
And would you look at that, getting bold with a double gold rope necklace!
Also my brother Jordan looks eerily like the baby from Dinosaurs in this photo.

Happy birthday, mom. The gold rope has been in hiding long enough, it's time to bring it back.


Tomorrow's prompt: Most Embarrassing Moment. Oh boy, I've got a lot.

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Monday, October 27, 2014

A Letter To My Younger Self- Day 27

This fictional letter would be postmarked Tuesday, October 21, 2014- as in last week right before I left for New York.

Dear Tay From One Week Ago,

Your optimism is adorable. But per the usual, it's very very delusional.

Try to live in this photo just a little longer, because it's not going to be long after before you get the first day results and realize the judges hate you.


The audience is receptive which is always nice. They laugh and giggle at all the right points, it's wonderful but also a bit misleading. After night one at Broadway Comedy Club you actually come off stage feeling okay, dare I even say good? You allow yourself that false sense of confidence and think for a second, maybe I can do stand-up in New York... This is going really good.

But the scowling judges in the back think otherwise.

Day two you walk around rainy New York thinking you're still in it. But you're not. The judges have cast you back to Chicago already. Probably even back to Nebraska.

Shortly before you're ready to perform at the Greenwich Comedy Club you're hanging with your friends and family at an awesome little village basement bar and for a moment everything is just as it should be. Good drinks, good people, all together in wonderful New York. What could be better?

But then you go and spoil it by looking online and see that the results from day one have been posted. Your naive sweet soul is still excited at this point. It's almost cute to me now.

But as you scroll through the names and don't see your own that old familiar feeling of failure starts to sink in. It starts as shock, then disappointment, and then it lingers somewhere in between shame and embarrassment as the you from just minutes ago still remembers how there was actually a time when you believed you were still in the running.

Silly silly girl.

It's the embarrassment from putting yourself out there that feels the worst. It's a taunting voice that laughs at you for even trying in the first place.  And although it's only the results from day one, you know instantly by the comedians they've chosen you will never make that list. You just don't fit the bill.

At this point you're going to have to fight the urge to run home and hide on your couch. But we both know you can't hide from rejection, it finds you everywhere. Your only choice is to put on your big girl pants and stop being such a little bitch. I know that sounds harsh, but someone's going to need to say it at this moment. Might as well be future-me. You still need to put on a show because quite a few really awesome and supportive friends from New York (and beyond) have come to watch you. They couldn't care less where you stand in some competition, so buck up, order some drinks, and save the sulking for next week.

So that's what you do. You drink a few more drinks than you normally do before a show. You don't go over your set list at all. And you go on stage feeling more relaxed than ever.


And when it's over you come off stage feeling happy and then a little bit sad.

But what can you do. In the big scheme of things this is so miniscule. Enjoy it for what it was, a fun weekend in New York when you got the chance to do stand-up at clubs you'd never thought you'd step foot in. Stop being a baby about dumb shit and go enjoy Greenwich.

Take a few too many shots with everyone and go eat a few big slices of pizza from Artichoke. But please resist the urge to throw said pizza at people you don't know. They don't like that.


Look who came out! It's Christine from Girl Versus Kitchen on the left! We may have had a little too much fun on Thursday night. Thanks again for coming! And for the shots of Fireball....

Most importantly Tay From Last Week, please be responsible and write your Blogtober14 posts for this week ahead of time so you're not a jerk and leave it completely on Helene to handle. That wouldn't be nice.

Have fun in New York. That city might eat you alive, but I don't think you'd have it any other way. You'll conquer it one day....


The Daily Tay Blogtober14

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Let's Hear It For New York

Before I even landed in New York on Wednesday I was already plotting how I could get Chris and Harlow to move there in the next year. To be honest I've been plotting to move to New York for a few years now.

We could sell all of our furniture, find new jobs, and settle into a new adventure in the Big Apple. It all sounded so simple.

But then I visited New York and remembered why I live in Chicago. Because the city that never sleeps eats people alive. And as I sit here on my couch with bags under my eyes, blisters on my feet, and swollen fingers, (why were my fingers always swollen in NY?) I know that New York won again. She always does.

Don't get me wrong, I love New York, but that city isn't for the weak. And right now I'm still weak. Maybe in a few years I won't be, but for now Chicago has my heart. Chicago with its quiet, wide streets. And it's sweet Midwestern people. And its huge apartments. Never before have I thought Chris and I lived in a big apartment, but after returning from New York, our apartment is a mansion. A mansion I tell you.

That being said, this city still intrigues me. I know I can't make it there now, but someday if life turns out okay, maybe I could. There's just no other city like it.


I took about a million photos from the top of the Empire State building. I'll show you just two. If you ever visit the Empire State building I suggest you find a friend who works in the building so she can give you a VIP fast pass and you can skip all the lines. Thanks again, Jenna. That pass was everything.


And then there was Central Park. Spending a fall Saturday morning here was just about as good as it gets.



Working on my New York blogger smile. Did I nail it or did I nail it?




Can I just live in one of these penthouses next to the park? Great, thanks.


And the 9/11 Memorial is beautiful and so moving. I've seen it a few times now and it has the same impact every time.





And we may have had to stop at the Husker bar to catch the first half of the Husker game on Saturday...


But we didn't stay for too long before walking over the Williamsburg bridge to Brooklyn.





I like Brooklyn. I like it a lot. I've never felt more like a Midwestern farm girl around all the stylish hipster kids in Williamsburg, but it was still fun.

More to come on that comedy fest... But for now I need sleep, I haven't had too much of that since September. And I'm jumping back into Blogtober14 bright and early tomorrow (can we pretend I never missed? Thanks.) The prompt is a letter to my younger self. I'm ready for it.

Thanks again for a wonderful trip, New York. You truly are an amazing city. And an even bigger thanks to Luigi's $1.50 a slice pizza right outside our Subway stop. I'll take New York pizza over Chicago pizza any day. Thin and greasy and cheap. A perfect 3 a.m. snack if you ask me.


Please Monday, take it easy on me.

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