A Note To College Freshman

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Facebook tells me the kiddos are heading back to college this week, the Greek kiddos anyway. Oh to be young and going through recruitment again, if you don't mind I'd just like to take a minute and think back about that...



I've mentioned before that I was in a sorority. For those of you GDIs who weren't in a frat or sorority, I know what you're probably thinking. Woof. Am I right? Or am I right? To the outsider looking in, the Greek system has a pretty bad rep. And let me tell you, every single stereotype you've ever heard is absolutely true. Kidding. Or maybe I'm not, I have no idea what you've heard and to be quite honest I don't really care all that much. Because I can just speak from my experience and tell you I had one helluva time in college with my fellow KAT sisters. Sisters of love, friends of soul. The nights we spent braiding each other's hair, painting our toe nails, and wondering which boy from our brother fraternity would ask us to the social are nights I will never forget. Same goes for the ragers thrown at West O, or any party at ATO in general, or being chased by bats and snakes in Fiji. Fun times were had.

Because of my fond memories, I'd like to take this moment to offer some advice to new Greek college freshman. Although sadly I realize college freshman are way too cool to be reading blogs. But give them about five years and they'll join the online world like the rest of us losers. They always do.

1. Never trust jungle juice.
It may look like kool-aid. It may taste like kool-aid. But thirty minutes later it will bite you in the ass like the kool-aid man just broke through the brick wall and poured a gallon of Everclear down your throat.

2. Girls, resist the urge to wear a short jean shirt and tall wedges on bid day. 
Because you will forever be referred to as the girl who wore a short jean skirt and tall wedges on bid day for the rest of your life. How was I supposed to know the outfit didn't look right? I wore mens XL basketball shorts all through high school.

3. You don't have to attend every theme party called "Pimps N Hos." 
In fact, I recommend you don't attend any called this. It's just degrading and embarrassing. And the photos will haunt you for life.
Someone was playing with eyeliner for the first time...

4. Instead, get out your old bball shorts and go to the gangsta party.
But make sure to wear a big clock around your neck just to ensure you look like a complete asshole.


5. Try really really hard to pace yourself on game days.
"Go Big Red Morning Juice" is actually just jungle juice in disguise. Don't fall for it. It took me three years to figure this one out. 

6. Don't break into the kitchen every single night. 
Your house mom has eyes everywhere. Just steal a bag of turkey lunch meat and keep it in your room.

7. If your house has a "weird closet," take advantage of it.
Sometimes staying in can be just as fun as going out.

 *Betty Locke didn't want her face shown.

8. Don't be the snitch of your house. 
Just don't. If it doesn't concern you why bother with being the little snatch who tells on everyone? 

9. Bring the fun.
People want to hang around fun people. It's common sense. So be the girl who gets on the intercom at 7:00 a.m. on game days and starts blasting the school song through the house. The grumpy girls will thank you for it five years down the road when they like to pretend they actually enjoyed it. 

10. Realize that college won't last forever.
Sure you can push it to five or six years, but let me be the first to tell you it starts to change after four regardless. It just does. So enjoy your friends, enjoy the fact the hardest thing on your agenda is "class", and enjoy your student loans. Because in four years you're going to owe the government roughly $60,000. But don't think about that right now. 

Just enjoy. Enjoy it for the rest of us who no longer even have college aged people on our Facebook but instead get to see on our newsfeed who got crazy last night at the baby shower.

She had two glasses of wine?! Hells.

32 comments:

  1. dangit taylor! I have a post about sorority stuff that's coming up on my blog. but this is gold and oh so true.

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  2. I didn't know you were a fellow KAT! :) I wish I could give you the secret handshake right now. Totally agree - people have stereotypes of sororities, and many are true, but I also had a helluva time in college due to my "sisters." And all of my best friends I met in college were through the Greek system, so there you have it. Great post!

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  3. ahh jungle juice! I wasn't in a sorority but my boyfriend was in a fraternity and that stuff was my jam.. except I called it the "blue stuff" or that "purple stuff" or whatever color it was that night (I'm pretty creative). Also, I have such a refined palate that one night I swore that someone used hose water to make it and everyone thought I was nuts.. until the next day when a pledge confessed that he made it with hose water.. who's crazy now?!

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  4. Ugh, I miss it SO much. Every word is true. I just remember being incredibly intimidated by all of you in your blue Theta t-shirts as a little freshman in my pink t-shirt. "Just steal a bag of turkey lunch meat and keep it in your room." Classic!!

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  5. haha totally took advantage of the weird closet in my house. might have gone to buy 60 pumpkins dressed in weird closet clothes with a few of the sisters once.

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  6. Oh lord, the jungle juice. And the everclear. And nary a hangover in sight. I'm confident that ish would render me useless for at least a week if I tried it these days. Still, I'd pledge again in a heartbeat if given the chance :)

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  7. LOL...OMgawd those were the days. Never realized just how good we had it back then, did we!

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  8. I wasn't in a sorority but I went to a ton of Frat parties and oh boy!! So much fun! Jungle juice is no joke!!

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  9. My advice list would look just like yours. Why is that the guys NEVER drank the jungle juice, ever? ROOFIES. I used to swear up and down I got roofied at a frat party, it most certainly wasn't the 234234 natty lites I drank during beer pong.

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  10. Haha good stuff! I wasn't in a sorority but maybe I would have joined if I knew people like you were in them. And I just did a letter to College Freshmen on my blog yesterday. Yay!

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  11. lol, my sorority life was much different...no pimp and ho themed parties. Although, most of my pre-med sisters who are now all doctors sure could play flip cup with liquor! ;)

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  12. please let me go back to college and be 18 again, i'll rush as a freshman and not as junior. please let me go back to college where hangovers were 1 hour inconveniences that you could sleep off. please let me go back to college where dressing up for parities is as normal as halloween and drinking out of plastic tubs is ok. please let me go back to college where naps are accepted

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  13. I didn't know you were a Theta too! That makes me happy:)

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  14. I was never in a sorority because dont those bitches like, tell you what you can and cannot do? Can and cannot wear and talk to? Me thinks no.

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  15. Ugh this made me so nostalgic. Can I go back? Just for a weekend? Or can I at least have a quarter of my booze tolerance back?

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  16. This is so brilliant! I've always been so intrigued about the Greek system- we don't have anything like it here! I think this all translates wherever you are though- I would always say to make the most of your housemates, do NOT drink the punch (ever), and DEFINITELY realise that university won't last forever. Three years goes SO QUICKLY (as does the first year after you graduate...) xx

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  17. True story: my first pledge party (I was an Alpha Phi), I drank jungle juice for only the second time in my life (I guess throwing up the entire next day after the first time wasn't much of a lesson). I fell down the stairs in front a lot of the older girls and half the guys at the party. I don't remember this at all, but my banged up body the next day confirmed it. God I miss sorority life.. I agree, sometimes staying in can be just as fun as going out. I remember having marathons of Nip/Tuck in the sorority house basement during finals week. I loved seeing all the wasted girls come rolling in at 4am (our bars were open till 3:30 - dear God) on the rare nights I wasn't one of them. Seriously, best 4 years of my life.

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  18. i love your sorority life recaps and advice :) they bring back fond memories for me too...especially jungle juice hahahah

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  19. ...and now I miss college and sorority even more than I did earlier today!

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  20. Heading back to school at the end of September (dangit, they make us wait for it), and I can't be more excited... I'm also planning ways to accidentally have my degree disintegrated before graduation so I can stay as long as possible...

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  21. Haha love this, it brought make so many memories!

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  22. Sounds like you're sort of missing that. I think it would have been so fun to be in a sorority. However many of the colleges/universities here in Canada do not have those. I attended college for 2 years and feel like I missed out on some residence life. Lived in a townhouse with other students...it was our own "frat house" more or less. Those days were fun. Sounds like you are missing it. I know that come September I will start missing it as well. I am only 20 yes, and I feel like some programs should be so much longer than two years.

    sincerely Stephy Bee,

    cuethestreetlights@blogspot.ca

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  23. Sisters in Theta. I most certainly miss the 7:30AM classes that had to be taken, especially in January. Amazingly, I do miss the sleeping porch and somebody else being responsible for wake up. Firesides and pinnings!

    Never go check out whatever amazing anything that just happens to be up in a frat room, especially if jungle juice is anywhere in the building!

    Theta Love!!

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  24. Thetas in the house! My sorority experience was totally different! It was my haven from the absolute nuttiness of the rest of college. I've been around quite a few chapters as an advisor (I'm ooooold now, 35!) and they are all different but I'm always struck by the Theta Love! For my first baby I even got thrown a shower when I didn't really know anyone!

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  25. Ah man, the things we do at college. Great little lessons. I still forget about the jungle juice!

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  26. Today is the first day of Spirit Camp for us -- and my senior year. Crazy how times fly, but I love my sisters and am SO glad I joined!

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  27. I really loved this post! So freaking funny.

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  28. I wouldn't trade my years in a sorority for anything! And the stereotypes? totally all true, and I'm proud of it! haha

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  29. damn that jungle juice. i blame all of my bad decisions on way too many red solo cups full of that shiz.
    oh... and the trash juice. basically it was all in the name but i kept going back to that damn trash can bc i thought it was really good "lemonade." so wrong.

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  30. Amazing and incredibly accurate. Now I'll go back to being depressed because i have a wedding shower AND baby shower tomorrow. Mimosas on mimosas on chicken salad minis.

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