My Implant Surgery

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Well guys, it's time to let the cat out of the bag. Tomorrow I've got a surgery I'm admittedly pretty nervous about. This might be something most probably keep to themselves, but I'll just say it, tomorrow at 9:30 a.m. I'm going in for implant surgery. Keep your judgements to yourself because this is something I've wanted since I was a little girl. I know it's just going to make my life a lot better and that's really all that matters to me.

But of course I'm still absolutely terrified and have so many worries and questions about what is going to happen tomorrow. Like how bad is this going to hurt? What will the recovery be like? Will there be a lot of swelling? Will I still feel like me? Will people judge me for being vain? But then I have to remember the alternative is that if I don't have this surgery, my front tooth will just eventually fall out all together and unless I'm planning to join the D.C. Lynch Carnival group, that obviously wouldn't be good. And besides, it's just a dental implant, how bad could it be?

Wait, what kind of implant did you think I was talking about? Boobie implants? And risk the chance of no longer being able to buy shirts from the children section at Target? No thank you. Me and my ten year old boy chest are just fine.

But that tooth of mine, we're not so fine.

Let me take you back to 1990. It's a cold dreary evening in November and in an attempt to beat the winter blues three-year-old-me made a few too many dirty apple juice martinis and decided it was time to get a little fabulous by putting on a fashion show. I drunkenly started to dress in some of my mother's best ball gowns and sparkly high-heeled shoes. Well one thing led to another, and the next thing I know I'm yelling at my Cabbage Patch Doll, Claudia, for using wire hangers even though I had explicitly told her time and time again no more wire hangers! when I ran out of my room in a fit of rage and suddenly tripped on the heels I was wearing (mind you they were about ten sizes too big) and I tumbled down the stairs. I tumbled hard. And I cracked my bottom front tooth, killing not only the tooth, but the root as well.

And thus I would go on to have dental problems for the next twenty plus years. I had root canals, crowns, Marilyn bridges (that's a dental term), more root canals, crowns put on, teeth pulled, crowns taken off, and every other problem you could think of for years to come. Which would also inevitably lead to my addiction battles with nitrous oxide. As a little kid I would obviously hate going to the dentist office, but sometimes I would make up problems just so I could go in and get my fix. I jonesed for that laughing gas like none other. Oh God did I ever. More times than not my dentist would tell me to "take it easy" on the oxide, which as an addict only led me to want it more.

This photo was taken shortly after the incident, notice the gaping hole between my bottom front row of teeth. I'm trying to mask my pain by acting like I'm having the best time ever. But it's not fooling anybody.


This was taken on my first day of Kindergarden. The sadness in my eyes is so evident. So is the missing tooth. And I was trying out a new smile, I called it "the underbite."


And then here's a photo of me right in the thick of my nitrous oxide addiction. It's clear I've just given up on life at this point and stopped showering all together. My greasy hair is basically sticking to my face.


But I do love that Navajo inspired cross bag I'm wearing. I never let my great sense of fashion go, at least I've got that. And just for the record I'm posing next to a Kansas City Chiefs cheerleader. Nbd.

Long story short, I'm nervous as hell about having a dentist drill into the bone of my mouth tomorrow, but I know it has to be done to put all of this behind me once and for all. After I get this implant, I should never have problems with this tooth again. Meaning it will never just fall out like it did in 7th grade at a school dance causing everyone to call me Hill Billy Wolfe for the next few months... Or in high school at a football game. Or while at work just two years ago.

Once that mask is placed over my nose tomorrow morning I know everything will be alright...


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92 comments:

  1. Good luck! Can wait to see your new nose/boobies/face ; ) You'll post pics right?

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  2. Sending you positive vibes and love, sugar!

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  3. I'm nervous for you too... sounds painful (not what you want to hear, ha, I know -- sorry!!) I am also front toothless, I pulled my bottom 2 front teeth out trying to use my teeth to pull up a stuck zipper on my winter coat when I was a wee lass... and then the adult teeth just never grew in, however thankfully my other teeth moved and filled in the gaps so I'm avoiding surgery!

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  4. Oh sweet lord Taylor, I'm snorting over here like I got a hold of your laughing gas! Seriously, my boss is walking in any minute now....

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  5. You're too funny. Like you should literally stop being so funny. Good luck tomorrow! I secretly want a dentist to just replace all my teeth with fakes so I never have to worry about brushing / fillings / root canals ever again.

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  6. Good luck! I hope you get a painkiller pump afterwards, those are the best!

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  7. You had me fooled. I am not going to lie...I was a little bit like WTF Taylor? Not that implants are bad, I just thought I knew you better than that :-)

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  8. OUCH! Sounds painful! At least you'll have your beloved laughing gas to make you feel better! But seriously, I hope it's not too bad and that you are back to being the sweet, snarky Tay we all cry from laughing so hard over :)

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  9. My only request is for Chris to film a 'Taylor After Dentist' video. Please and thank you. It's a small request in the grand scheme of things, I feel.

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  10. I love that you referenced Mommie Dearest, and that your Cabbage Patch doll's name was Claudia. I had a few, one of which had a mechanical mouth to eat fake food (and apparently it also liked to eat girls hair). Good luck tomorrow!!

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  11. LoL you got me good there for a moment! You're just too hilarious girl. Good luck tomorrow :)

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  12. Are you sure that you tripped and that in reality Claudia didn't decide that she'd had enough and pushed you down the stairs? I hear those Cabbage Patch Dolls can be pretty extreme. Either way, I'll be sending good thoughts you're way tomorrow!

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  13. I'm nervous FOR you. But also a little jealous that you'll get the mask. Me and the mask go back. I need to get one too, but, I've been putting it off because it's wayyyyyyy in the back and people can't see it anyway.

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  14. Good luck tomorrow!!! You did trick me a little, I didn't think you would get boobs, but I was starting to wonder. Hilarious post by the way!

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  15. Good luck! I have to get a tooth implant as well but I have been so nervous!

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  16. I have something similar where two teeth just never came in. The first time the dentist talked to me about implants he was pretty much like yeah I put titanium rods in your jaw that will shatter your jaw if anything happens. Yup also very freaked out about getting implants! Good Luck!

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  17. Ok, seriously Taylor, you got me good. Real good. Hahaha! Good luck tomorrow!!

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  18. Ouch! Good luck tomorrow :). I was definitely going WTF at the first two paragraphs haha.

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  19. Good luck tomorrow! Wishing you a painless procedure and a speedy recovery!

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  20. Sounds painful :o I'm sure it'll go well! The tooth fairy sure owes you a lot!

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  21. you got me good Tay Tay! I definitely thought you were getting new boobies. I'm glad you're not because I like to stick together with other not so well endowed women. Not that you're not well endowed but... you know

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  22. I have a tooth implant! The surgery was not bad at all, you will be completely fine in no time!!

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  23. Good luck to you! At least you'll get some great drugs outta the deal

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  24. You had me going for a second there. I was all prepared to tell you that breast implants are wonderful, and I haven't regretted mine for a second...ever. Then, I realized you were talking about your tooth, and I got scared. I hate going to the dentist--so I can commiserate with you! Best of luck to you...sending you happy vibes!

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  25. OMG, you're hilarious. You go get that nitrous oxide, girl. Good luck, I hope everything goes well!

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  26. I've had one.
    You'll be fine.
    And you will LOVE It!!!

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  27. i had absolutely no idea. and i really was thinking you were having a boob job. good luck tomorrow, just ask for some extra drugs.

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  28. You'll do fine and will be so much happier! Complete side note: let us know the next time you're out doing improv! Some of us Chicagoans might want to check it out...and maybe not be such a chicken this time to meet you in person!

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  29. Tricky little lady you are!!! :) Good luck tomorrow!!

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  30. Hahaha I definitely thought you were getting a boob job and was like, you do you girl. But good luck, hope recovery's not too sucky, and enjoy lots of smoothies!

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  31. You are too funny! I seriously thought you were getting new boobs. Ha! No, really, I hope your new tooth implant will never give you any trouble again. Good luck!

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  32. I was about to give you the inside scoop of boobie implants, but then you had to go and fool me like that!

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  33. Good Luck! I had an implant done about 4 years ago on one of my eye teeth (long story, but it never came in and they had to surgically remove it when I was younger). I had the implant done and all four of my wisdom teeth out at the same time. The implant was nothing. Seriously. That area didn't swell or hurt or anything. Hoping yours went as well as mine did and you never have to worry about it again!!!

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  34. I feel your pain! Had a similar story happen to me but not in heels and I was at the elementary school playground in the heat of a mean game of basketball when some jerk tripped me (or I fell over my own feet, not entirely sure how it played out) and tooth to concrete, part of my front tooth cracked right off. And it hurt. After much of what you discuss and my (future) brother in law asking me if my front tooth was darker than the rest because I was bulimic and the acid of my puke was eating away at said tooth (no jerk it's dead!) , I decided I had to do something about it. Two veneers later and I'm happier than a clam.

    Moral of the story - dead teeth suck and you will get through it just fine AND be so much happier with it after surgery!

    Good luck! (And your welcome for the obscenely long comment!)

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  35. good luck lady! seriously, you crack me up every single time i read a post of yours. you really had me going with the whole boobie surgery thing!

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  36. Good luck girl! Prayers for a quick healing time!

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  37. My boss just had her implant post surgery last Friday and she was back at work on Tuesday feeling pretty good after a weekend filled with ice cream. Good luck tomorrow!

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  38. Ohhh, you've had several root canals? The dentist said one of my molars is going to need one at some point. It has a filling that they just replaced but it won't last forever. Anyway, I hate the dentist so bad and am so scared of having a root canal. My teeth just aren't that great. They seem a little fragile.

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  39. Good luck tomorrow! I hope it goes well--it will:) Soon you'll be happy with your new grill:)

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  40. I only wish I was getting new teeth...I TOTALLY feel for you! I'm sure it will go great and your teeth will be beautiful. I am very jealous.

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  41. *Hugs* Everything will go fine tomorrow. You'll be so happy you did it, and you'll be flashing everyone your new grill in no time! Keep us updated on how it goes.

    P.S. My husband would be insanely jealous of your last pic. He's a HUGE Chiefs fan! :)

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  42. HA I loved this. Good luck lady, you'll be just fine!

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  43. Whenever I go to the dentist, they make two hygienists come in. One to do the actual cleaning and one to say calming voices and encouragement because I bawl as soon as I sign in. So if you get nervous, don't worry. You're not alone.

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  44. Loved the intro to this story!

    Try not to worry too much about the scary parts, just look ahead and focus on the future and the no more tooth falling out randomly for you!

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  45. Good luck! I've got a Marilyn Bridge that will someday need to be replaced with an implant. AND I don't have enough bone so i need a bone graft first, thats a separate surgery! (Oh, and also, my dental surgeon said he doesn't usually put people under for implants, can you imagine someone hammering a rod into the bone and being awake!?!). So, please share how it goes, I'd love to know since I'll face it someday. :)

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  46. aaaaa.....just AAA! all that work for just the one tooth? And I couldn't stand the smell of that laughing gas....they had to sneak the needle on me to calm me down. good luck.

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  47. Good Luck tomorrow. Just think about how good that laughing gas is going to feel :)

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  48. Good luck!! Whatever you do, don't high five your surgeon, apparently that is frowned upon post-surgery.
    xx
    Amanda
    www.denimanddaydreamsblog.com

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  49. I've been putting mine off for so long. My front top tooth is still hanging on (by dental glue) so I will hope for the best. I just know it will finally fall off in the worst moment. It's been slowly dying ever since the root canal so hopefully it doesn't turn black haha! Good luck!

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  50. Good luck! Don't feel to bad I am going to have to get ALL my teeth done. My mother and father never taught me to brush or floss so I have really bad teeth. I don't mind them but I know people are grossed out by them and I am going to need to eat more then liquids so yup I am going to have to come up with 32,000 for my whole mouth.

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  51. I hope all goes well and you get the results you want

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  52. Best of luck! I know everything will be fine, but I can understand the nerves.

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  53. I promise it's not as bad as you think!! :) Just eat ice cream for a day or so afterwards!

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  54. I'm in pain just thinking about it. Good Luck!

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  55. Best of luck with your surgery tomorrow! I'm sure it's a relief to know that you won't have to worry about that darn tooth again.

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  56. wow! what a way to start out a post! you had us all going. good luck!

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  57. As I started reading I thought, "hmm, did not see her as a breast implant kind of girl" so you had me going. Clever, that daily tay, clever. (although, really, is there a breast implant kind of girl? And is that just another form of judging women? Those are thoughts for another day when my head isn't quite so foggy.)

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  58. You have become one of my favorite bloggers! I seriously was sitting at the salon reading this post, trying my hardest not to laugh out loud. I'm sure I looked like an idiot!! Good luck tomorrow. I wish you a speedy, pain-free recovery!

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  59. Good luck with the surgery! You'll be fine (: When I was probably around the same age I was trying to be a ballerina and I tripped over one of our cement stepping stones and busted out my two front teeth and chipped the tooth next to them in half. I have a neat little scar on my chin from that incident.. and I had quite a few dentist trips but luckily my roots were fine. I got lucky! Needless to say, I didn't pursue a career in being a ballerina.

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  60. OMG the same thing has happened to me, except, well, I got my 4 front teeth knocked out while cheering at a high school football game. Yup, on the sidelines, in front of everyone. Good times. But seriously after that my doctor and I became best friends, and by that I mean I was in his office at least 2x a week for a year... Anyway, a few years later after root canals and bonding and everything you can think of, I was still having problems and I had to get implants. I was so nervous and cried the whole night before because I was too young to get fake teeth! hahaha But I'm really happy with the way my teeth look now! I know it's so nerve racking, but I'm sure everything will go well! Good luck, girl! Thanks for sharing your story!

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  61. HAHA I'm laughing at your expense and I feel terrible.. so if you need some pain killers, I'll glady share!
    PS- take good care of yourself XOXO

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  62. Hope the surgery went well Tay!

    holllieee.blogspot.com

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