What Do You Do When Your Blog Traffic Takes A Dip?

Thursday, August 28, 2014

You panic. And then panic some more because it's all over.

I'm kidding (kind of.) But like anyone else, I have some months that are better than others when it comes to blog traffic. It all ebbs and flows, I've realized this after five years of blogging. I've also realized summers are hard. They just are, it happens every year.

However today I'm here to assist you with a few helpful tips that can turn that traffic around in a jiffy. I'm certainly no expert, so take them for what you'd like.


First and foremost...

Announce that you have an announcement. But then never actually tell what that announcement is. Just keep alluding to how AWESOME it is.

Write a post that will piss people off. I suggest one about politics or tattoos.

Get a book deal. Or just say that you have a book deal.
Did I mention I have a book deal by the way? I mean I'm self publishing, but it sure seems like a helluva a deal... (slap your knee for that awful joke. I know I am.)

You know those bloggers that kinda annoy you? Talk about them.

Speaking of, get into a public blog fight with someone. Twitter fights are also known to increase traffic.

Get pregnant. New baby announcement = traffic gold mine. (I've heard.)

Get engaged. Then get married. People love wedding talk.

Talk about why you hate bloggers who sell-out. These posts are always super popular.

Burn down your house. This one might be a little out there, but I have a feeling it would increase traffic. Blogging takes some sacrifices, don't you ever forget that.

Write a post about all of the fun braids you can do with your hair!!!

Start a comment fight... with yourself.

Write a post with a really controversial title. Then the post can be about rainbows and dogs, the title just has to be catchy.

Switch to Wordpress. Then back to Blogger. Then back to Wordpress. Make sure to write a post each time in regards to why you feel you made the right decision and why everyone else should switch.

Write a post about breastfeeding. Especially if you've never had children.

Write a post called "The Truth Circle" and then you open up comments to anyone (anonymous included) and ask for people to tell you what they really think about you or what you should change about yourself... Or were my friends and I the only asshole middle school girls who used to play Truth Circle? Man, we were evil.

Or just buy traffic. I feel like that can probably be done now.

It's all about the numbers, am I right girls? Keep fighting the good fight.

And if you've taken anything I've said seriously in this post, that's great! Then also please head on over to Bloglovin and vote for me for best blogger! I'm leading the way in every category! I'm the one in the photo not smiling, wearing sunglasses, looking down.


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53 comments:

  1. "Blogging takes sacrifices" HAHAH.. Also, I can't seem to find your picture on Bloglovin.. So are you the one with your hair casually windblown or the one in high waisted jean shorts?

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  2. Or panic to your friends and come up with the worst case scenarios together. I hear that works too. From a friend of a friend...

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  3. Post about me, stats go down. Post photos of Hawkeye, stats go up.
    Now that I think about it... I think I comment more on your posts about Harlow than anything else. Sorry bout that...

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  4. By the time I got to switching from WordPress to Blogger to Wordpress to Blogger tears were rolling down my face. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE.

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  5. Breastfeeding. Brilliant. I'll have to get started on that draft immediately. Don't worry, I'll totally give you credit.

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  6. I just avoid looking at blog traffic. Ignorance is bliss. Literally the only time I go on Google Analytics nowadays is when BlogHer asks me for my stats, and then rejects me for low stats. And then I go burn down my house.

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  7. Start a comment fight with yourself. I can't stop laughing.

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  8. Hahahaha...this is so funny.... or you could always fake your own death!!!

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  9. These are great. In fact, one or two of them might be fun to do for real...

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  10. If you have a comment fight with yourself, I will absolutely come to your blog just to read it. Probably several times, because I'm sure it will be hilarious!

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  11. I thought it was just me with a traffic dip recently! Announcement on my blog! ;)

    guesswhathollie.blogspot.co.uk

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  12. The new baby announcement was my best day so far so there's that haha.

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  13. I'm not sure if you know this or not, but you're hilarious. Thought I'd let you know. You know, in case you didn't know. Now you know. :)

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  14. How ironic! I have a huge announcement on my blog today!!

    Just kidding, it's a normal post, but man.. can't wait for the day I do have some sort of huge announcement. Traffic gold.

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  15. You are so funny! I just wish you weren't so far away to come see it live!

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  16. I don't think I want to try any of these, except getting a book deal. I will take five of those. Thanks.

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  17. I'm dying.

    I can't do controversial.

    So, I think I'll choose the burn my house down option instead. The stupid thing won't sell anyway.

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  18. Hahahaha this is the best thing ever. Especially when I have seen almost all of those things in real life.

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  19. Oh. My. Goodness. This post is golden.

    "I'm the one in the photo not smiling, wearing sunglasses, looking down." Made me just about spit my taco out of my mouth from laughter.

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  20. Here's one...elude to the fact that you might possibly, could maybe, it's just possible, that you're pregnant.

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  21. Hehehe, this is the first post of yours that I have read and i totally didn't get you were joking to start - I was 'this girl is cray'.
    Excellent work!
    Kelsey x

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  22. I have one! Write about your kid falling out of their window. I've gotten 10x the views than on my next highest post.

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  23. lol, my post about not following traditional parenting rules was a big hit ;) hahaha but seriously, this is great! glad I found this!

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  24. "Start a comment fight... with yourself." lololol, I would do this, just to entertain myself. But lets get serious here... I got married! I actually really did if anyone cares lol

    This is great :D x

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  25. I do nothing, I just continue on my merry way

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  26. that is a funny post, the awesome announcement is funny

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  27. Haha I loved this ;) x
    http://thoughtsinstyle.com

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  28. bahaha! Why are you so awesome? The saying you have an announcement is dead on. My summer plan was to say that I have a huge life happening that I'm so excited to share with everyone in the coming weeks, and then never do. Figured everyone would think I was preggers or something equally as exciting and photo worthy. ;)

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  29. Hilarious! I don't know if it makes me laugh or cry that your suggestions somehow reflect the reality of the blogosphere... :)

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  30. Hahahhaha. Yes. I'm so glad you wrote this.

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  31. Tay! I absolutely LOVE this because I have been totally freaking out because my traffic has been sooooooo low lately it has been stressing me out big time. And no one has been liking my instagrams. The world hates me.

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  32. hahah "start a comment fight with yourself"... well that will get them talking wont it o.O

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  33. ahaahh this was great! Some people should read this one :)

    xx
    Ana Leote

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  34. Hahaha loved this post!! Especially the Twitter argument idea, might tweet a Hollyoaks actor saying they can't act and see what happens (hashtagging my blog in every tweet of course)

    Yasmin XX www.twentyonepress.blogspot.co.uk

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