My Biggest Fear

Monday, October 20, 2014

My biggest fear is failure. It always has been and it always will be.

And because I like to torture myself, I think it's fun to present myself with new ways to fail all the time. Like for instance this comedy festival I'm heading to on Wednesday. I just now checked out the official rules of the competition to see what it's it all about (I knew the gist, but was sparing myself the details for anxiety reasons) and I learned that after round one of competition only 24 comedians get to move on to the next round.

In round two every comedian has to do two new sets of all new material. Round three it gets cut to 12 and one five minute set.

Only six move onto the finals and one ten minute set.

And it has to be new material every night. And the lump in my throat just got even bigger.

I grew up being a crazy competitive kid and have honestly competed in almost every sport possible at some point in my life: track, basketball, golf, swimming, dance, soccer, softball, volleyball... blah blah the list goes on, you get what I'm saying here.

But I never thought I would find myself in my late twenties competing in a festival of telling jokes. Getting on stage, grabbing a mic, and then doing my best to make the people laugh. How weird is that? It's weird. It's so weird. I can't even describe to you how nervous I am simply typing this.

And yet also how excited it makes me. That ten year old asshole inside of me is screaming yes, you're finally being competitive again, finally! I suddenly want to break out my old converse sneakers and my gold #22 chain necklace and do my athlete strut. That strut when you just get off the bus from a long ride to Grand Island and know damn well when you walk into their gym you're going to beat them and so you're feeling pretty confident in your sweet Adidas travel-suit with your headphones in and gold chain necklace on, that strut.

*Fun fact: I used to listen to Bone Thugs on repeat before every game, Thuggish Ruggish was one of my favs. 

Thug-Tay was so hardcore it hurt. I need some of that unwarranted confidence back in my life this week. Like my favorite child muscle-tanks always said, no fear. No fear allowed ever.

This week is going to be nutty. Send your good-luck positive vibes my way if you wouldn't mind, I'm going to need them.

What's your biggest fear? Tomorrow's prompt: My Favorite Vacation...

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  1. I'm anxiously excited for you! Sending tons of positive vibes your way!

  2. I'm sending you positive vibes! You should break out that gold chain necklace and strut! It's amazing how confident we were as kids before the world beat us down:) You'll do AWESOME!!

  3. You're going to do great in this festival, I know it. It's crazy to think of you as ever being anxious. I mean, you do stand up, you're probably the coolest person I don't actually know but feel like I do in that "I read you blog every day" kind of way. Sending you lots of positive vibes!

  4. I complete forgot about this fear of mine - I hate failing too!! Good luck girl - so sad we can't be in NYC to see you live x

  5. Go knock em dead in NYC. You're gonna do great!

  6. you got it Tay.Also our fears are the same. EXACT SAME

  7. You're going to knock everyone's socks off, and then they'll just be mad because it's cold outside and socks are nice. Same fear, too. Same fear. Failure sucks. Let's beat that bad betch.


  8. Sending every ounce of funny in my life over to you!

  9. Can you feel my good vibes being sent your way.................

  10. Good luck! You're going to be great :)

  11. That competition sounds really, really cool - good luck! You'll be great!

  12. I know you will kill it!! Have confidence in yourself and everything will work out great :)

  13. Hope last night was awesome. We'll be there tonight to laugh so loud that it's awkward. Plus, I'll be having a beer or two at MacDougal Street Ale House across the street before the show. Love NYC basement bars. You'll kill it.