The Seven Stages of Grief- When Registering For Your Wedding

Monday, April 11, 2016

Registering for a wedding is weird.

Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful. But also weird. You can't help but think, people are really going to buy us this stuff? Really?

I know it happens all the time, but I just can't wrap my head around it.

And then there's the fact you go in thinking you're going to be conservative and only register for the "necessities" and things you really need. Like new towels and plates and pillows, ext. You start off only scanning the basics, not wanting to get carried away. Who really needs more than 8 wine glasses anyway.

And then the next minute you find yourself registering for an automatic vegetable peeler that makes zucchini pasta and corn skewers that look like mini dancing owls.

I don't eat zucchini pasta. And when we eat corn on the cob we just use our hands. But the married-me seems to live a much better, more glamorous life. One that involves plates and bowls that match, and pots and pans that have lids that fit. And healthy pasta made from vegetables.

I've also learned that Married-Me is domestic AF.

I don't own cookie pans now because I don't really care about cookie pans. But after I get my new set of eight (that I have promised myself I will use) I'm going to be a regular Julia Child. And when I get my new earphones I'm going to be a regular Julia Stiles getting down to some hip hop.

I didn't register for headphones. But I could. Because registering is insane. It's allowing you a glimpse into the life that you could lead. Which thus enables you to see how sloppy you're currently living...

Or maybe that's just my old hand-me-down plates talking.

Thus I bring to you, the seven stages of grief when registering for a wedding.

1. Disbelief.
So you're telling me that I just get to mosey around this store and pick out everything I want? And then someone's going to buy it for us? No. No way.

Not possible. Why would this be a thing? I can pick out a coffee maker AND new knifes? No. Stop it. Get out. What about oven mitts? I love oven mitts but I don't buy them. I can have them too? No.

2. Confusion and denial.
So there's how many kinds of flatware? And also silverware and flatware are the same thing? Or no? Because I call this stuff silverware. And why should I care what kind of fork we choose? A fork is a fork is fork as long as it's not a spork.

I'm supposed to look at fine China? For what purpose? When I host Christmas in 1989? Because I don't see that happening for awhile.

3. Bargaining.
So maybe we can swap out all the towels in exchange for one big rug. Can we do that? Does it work like that?

4. Anxiety.
Are people going to judge me for registering for this? Is this normal? I know it's a long shot that someone will really buy this crazy expensive blanket but I can do it anyway, right? There's no harm in simply scanning it....

People are going to judge me. My taste is weird. Or it's too cheap. Or too expensive. So much pressure!

5. Anger.

I'll take the mid century modern bench off the registry. It was for Harlow, anyway...

6. Doubt.
No one is going to buy any of this. This entire thing is silly.

7. Acceptance.
We're registered. It's done. And if people don't want to get us vegetable pasta makers then they can donate to The Harlow Foundation instead. Everybody wins.

How did you feel about registering? I'm really over thinking this, aren't it?

The wedding is 102 days away. I now know this thanks to the registry app. It's getting close.


  1. Yup! You've pretty much summed it up to a tee! If you already have a Keurig or a reliable coffee maker whatever you do don't register for a $300 cappuccino machine thinking no one would buy it. Yup it got bought by my job. =P

  2. My friend is getting married next month. Since she and her fiance have already established a home together, it's been an interesting situation.

    So she just registered for Honeymoon/House Down payment. People can buy $40 for dinner in London, or $200 towards a downpayment.

    It sounds so much easier!

    I didn't have an actual wedding when I got married. (We got married in the middle of a blizzard with witnesses we hired off the internet) So sometimes I wonder if we missed out on some things like registering for gifts, and all of that craziness.

  3. And this is exactly why I registered online from my couch...while getting drunk with my husband. Hence ending up with a Hello Kitty quesadilla maker (the first gift purchased). #winning

  4. My husband treated our wedding registry like a Christmas list, which is why we had a Star Wars stormtrooper costume on our registry (nobody bought it for us).

    We were literally given 20 towels and they're so fancy and pretty that I'm afraid to use them and they've been in boxes for 6+ months.

    Same with the dishes and the silverware.

    Honestly, we did a honeyfund and while it seemed really weird to ask people to just give you cash, it ended up being a good thing for us and I found that most people in their 20s and 30s would rather give you money over the internet than have to worry about buying/wrapping/remembering to bring your gift to your wedding.

    Register for the oven mitts because YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY OVEN MITTS and you'll never buy them for yourself. Also register for dish towels.

  5. I wouldn't say the entire thing is absolutely ridiculous! I am in favor of dish towels and oven mitts! I'm gonna recommend your wonderful production throughout the company!

  6. YES. michael and I got into a fight while registering. it's just not fun.

  7. This is awesome. I felt these things when I was registering too. Except then I registered for a bunch of ridiculous things I was like yessssss someone buy these for me.

  8. Luckily, my husband & I did not register for anything - we asked for cold, hard cash. He had been married once before & together we both had enough things that we didn't NEED anything. So, cash it was...or game tickets, we got both Wisconsin Badger & Green Bay Packer tickets & we loved that. :)

  9. We picked items out together, then I went back and added more stuff haha! We opted to have all of our gifts delivered instead of brought to the wedding and he would open boxes and say "did you add this?", "what the hell is this?", "we're NEVER going to use this". Silverware, still in boxes. Fine china, still in boxes. Everyday plates, used and loved! Towels, fluffy AF, but already stained and loved to death! :)

  10. I judged my sister-in-law's gift registry. With my colleagues. During work hours. I hope to God that you didn't register for a $500 blender, $300 suitcase, $100 gravy boat, etc. like she did.

    I'm so glad I didn't register for china. Super pricey, and I know I would never use it (what if I break it)? Plus one more thing to store.

    Good luck! :)

  11. Registering was so weird! I did make the mistake of letting my significant other have the scanner, needless to say we had a lot of video games and crazy stuff on our registry... Which I left on there because I was over it... And we ended up getting a lot of it... LOL



  12. I just registered a few weeks ago and got fired for a little while because all I wanted was a Roomba vacuum and a Margaritaville blender. We are getting married in 193 days (thanks to the registry app) and haven't had to send anything out with that information on it yet, but I can already feel the judgement...

  13. paraphrasing- "what am I supposed to do with fine china, host christmas in 1989?" made me laugh out loud.

  14. It was so fun registering!! I had too much fun probably. Depending on where you registered. You can check on the app/website and see what people have bought. I liked to ruin the surprise for my self haha! We didn't do China because, who even uses that? We did register for beer glasses.. Priorities?

  15. Registering sounds like an interesting process. I was just talking to someone about fine china at a bridal shower last week - nobody really uses it anymore!

  16. i went through all those stages when i was registering for my wedding! it was SO STRESSFUL!