Every eight weeks I start a new term at IO and am put into a new class with new people. This far into taking classes I obviously know a few of my fellow students, but every term there’s about ten new people I don’t know. So obviously on the first night we all try to make good impressions on each other and not come off as douchey or annoying. That’s always my plan, anyway. Well I’m sad to say that last night I failed, I failed bad. I made the worst first impression ever on my new class and I’m pretty sure they all think I’m just a judgmental Judy who likes to dress conservatively and wear scarves in the summer.
It all started with the monologue. At the beginning of class we had to give a three minute monologue about ourselves based on a suggestion from the class. Because I do stand-up, I figured this was going to be a breeze. I won’t be nervous, I naively thought to myself, I’m going to show everyone how comfortable I am talking on stage…. Well my suggestion was scarf.
And so I began talking about how I always wear scarves. Maybe it’s because I like to dress pretty conservatively and I never wear low-cut things, and I like sweaters, and I’m from Nebraska, and oh shit this isn’t going anywhere, and now I’m starting to get nervous because all these people are listening to me ramble about scarves. And now my voice is starting to do that annoying quiver thing it does when I start to get nervous and now the lights are burning my face and can I please just run the hell off stage already? And I ended it by saying I judge slutty girls in Wrigleyville for dressing in gross tight slutty things. It was a solid end, let me tell ya.
When I got done I wanted to apologize to the class for having inflected such crap upon their ears for three minutes. It was truly that bad. They all just looked at me like what in the hell just happened? I just shrugged and said I’m sorry I think I blacked out. Even writing this right now makes me cringe. And so I sat down and proceeded to think of about fifty other stories about scarves I could have said. I literally could have said anything, anything at all, and it would have been better than the shit I just said. In improv, as in life, that “why didn’t I say/do this instead” feeling is the absolute worst.
In an attempt to wash the dirtiness of that monologue off of me, I’m going to try stand-up tonight at a place this is sometimes known for being a pretty tough crowd. When you get bucked off the horse, you gotta get back on, might as well do it with a beer in hand. Wish me luck!
On a happier note, the winner from The Chromatic Gallerie shoe giveaway is Kim C. (who has already been contacted.) I have to admit, I ordered myself a pair of flats from Chromatic Gallerie and they are the most comfortable shoes I have owned. It feels like there is an extra cushion of padding and support in the sole that make them perfect shoes for walking all over Chicago.
Because I’m a sucker for anything animal print, I ordered the Cat Call flats. And I’m so glad I did!
Check out their site if you’re in the market for some few flats or heels this fall! And that’s all I’ve got for this lovely Hump Day! See you on the flip side.