I think the phrase “I just can’t” is easily one of the most obnoxious phrases in our culture today. I hate it so much I’ve actually started to love it. Sorry, but I just can’t.
When I went on an Easter Egg hunt in the 90s wearing a fur coat and lime green biker shorts.
When milk crusties fall into my coffee.
When Harlow takes another dog’s toy at the park and the dog owner gets mad at me. It’s a dog park. Don’t bring toys that can’t be shared/destroyed.
When my dishwasher doesn’t even pretend to get dishes clean. Like c’mon dishwasher, this is your one job!
When people don’t pronounce the “h sound” before words like human. It’s not “uuuman,” just stop.
When I get fast food and there’s a “tip jar” on the counter.
When I sign up for a free 30 day trial and forget to cancel on the 31st day. Gets me every time.
When child actors go through puberty on TV. (Modern Family cast.) I’m sorry, I know they can’t help it. But I just can’t.
When my clothes come out of the washer with laundry detergent on them. But wait, why?
When rugs with gripper pads still move all over the place. Thanks, Harlow.
When your Instagram bio says “Living and Loving for Jesus” and then your first 20 photos are of you covered in Louis Vuitton luggage and throw pillows that say “you can never be too thin or too rich.” I’m sorry, I just can’t. I don’t doubt you’re living for Jesus, I just think you’re living for Vuitton a little more.
When my deodorant falls out in one big chuck. This is 2015, why is this still happening?
When I go for a run (quick walk) for the first time in six months and my body decides to punish me for being so lazy by itching. everywhere. I just can’t.
Saran wrap. Does it ever tear correctly?
When people walk and text. LOOK UP.
When my DVR freezes in fast forward mode. STOPPPPPP I’m missing the best part.
UberX drivers who have no idea where they’re going.
When my eyeliner disappears onto the top of my eyelid just under my eyebrow. My mom says it’s because our family has “droopy eyelids.” Someone tell me this isn’t true.
When we all keep sharing the dumbest “look at all the pretty shit I own” photos on Instagram. And we all keep liking them. I’m as guilty as the next. But whyyyyyy.
When candles refuse to burn when it’s clear they still have a little wick left. Don’t quit on me early, candle.
When bathroom rugs look dirty after one shower.
When my computer constantly tries to update. Enough with the updates, Macbook. I like you exactly how you are for now. Just be you.
This list was completely inspired by this list, which is like way better mine. So go read Sarah’s.
It’s the weekend, I just CAN. Can you?!
*One more I just can’t- the fact that my font changes from one post to the next! And you can’t see my in-post links… If there is a web designer who can fix glitches please contact me! I’ve got a lot going on that I need fixed. firstname.lastname@example.org thank you!!!