Your Most Embarrassing Confessions

So I’m sitting on the doctor’s bench waiting for the exam to begin. It wasn’t a lady exam, just a regular check up.

The young doctor comes in and makes a bit of small talk, then hands me a gown and says, “take everything off from the top down,” and politely walks back out.

That’s weird I thought, I’ve never had to strip down for a normal check up. But hey, I’m not a doctor so who am I to question, right? So I followed the doctor’s orders and got into my birthday suit and then sat back down and put “the robe” on. It was at this point I noticed it was a short robe. The type that ends at about the belly button, you know for like breast exams or … very small humans I guess. Again, I thought this seemed a little off. Maybe he brought me the wrong one on accident?

I didn’t know. But I didn’t want to be annoying and so I reminded myself to trust this guy, he was a doctor after all. So there I was, sitting on a tall doctor bench in a crop hospital top and no pants.

When the doctor walked back into the exam room he took one look at me and said, “Um, uh, I’m sorry. I, where’s your pants?”

Over there. I thought you said to take it all off from the top down.

No, I actually said, just take your top off under the gown. 

(Say those two lines out loud, I swear they sound similar)

Ah, that makes more sense. I was wondering why I needed to be naked for this. But I’m not a doctor. So… You know. I wasn’t going to question anything. I’m from Nebraska. (I honestly said this. I don’t know why.)

Nope, I’m just checking your heart and lungs. You can leave your pants on for that.  You can even leave your bra on if you’d like. That’s why I gave you the short robe…

Now for a doctor, this guy seemed a little flushed. At least I thought so. So then that got me all flushed and embarrassed.

So when he said, “Okay then, I’m going to step out and let you put your pants back on,”

I tried to make a joke because that’s what I do when I’m uncomfortable and I responded, “no promises! ha ha.” Ha. Ha.

And then he didn’t look at me and he walked out.

Five minutes later a new doctor came in. The other one “had to tend to one of his regular patients” apparently.

I was mortified. As I’m writing this, I can still feel the heat on my cheeks as I remember this moment.

Have you had a moment like this? I want to do something fun today just to toss things up a bit. I’d like to hear your most embarrassing/funny/mortifying/humiliating/weird confession or story.

The best ones usually can’t be told, so I’m going to allow anonymous comments today. Erin did this years ago with this post and it has intrigued me ever since.

I want something to laugh about today, so let’s make this a space for that. However if you’ve been dying to tell me how much you hate me/my blog and would like to comment that under your anon name, please don’t. I’ll just delete it and then I’ll feel bad about it, and then I’ll probably be mean to a stranger on the street because that’s how the cycle of mean works. Just email me your hate comments instead, ok?

I just want this to be fun. In the midst of bad news in this world we can all use a chuckle every once in awhile.

So let’s get these going. I can never go back and see who left the comments, they are 100% anonymous. Anything goes. Alcohol induced confessions or stories are more than welcome.

I pooped my pants in the car last week… (I didn’t, I promise.)

I eat my deodorant (no, I don’t.)

Someone once walked in on me doing…

I like to roll in butter then sprinkle myself with glitter and lay on the couch (this one might be true.)