Shit Bloggers Say

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Alright, so I'm really trying hard to immerse myself into this whole blogging culture.
 For reals,
I had NO IDEA how in depth the blogging world is.
Every day I learn something new. 
And every day I'm reminded how my blog seems so old school still.
But I'm working on it.
In the midst of my research I've come up with this:

Shit Bloggers Say

So how do I get more followers?

Html is like really complicated.

I'll google the code.

I need sponsors.

Do you think I have enough followers for sponsors yet?

Do you have a button?

You totally need a button.

Button swap?

I got over 1,000 views today!

I hardly got any views today.

Do you think if I leave a comment she'll follow me back?

Omg ____ just followed me! That's like a big deal!

Why didn't ____ follow me back? I don't get it.

I just really have to write a post tonight.

I have nothinggggg to write about.

For real, what should I write about?

My post was such a force today.

I have a feeling this post is going to get a lot of hits.

Blogging is actually a lot of work.

That's totally going on the blog.

I just really want to get more followers.

Should I pay someone to design my blog?

Have you noticed a lot of the popular bloggers are Mormon?

Maybe blogger Gods just like Mormons more. (Or maybe I just say this.)

Why won't this format right? 

Why is the text being so weird?

Why won't this center?

It's like frozen.

I am going to freak out on blogger right now.

Blogging is actually pretty hard.

She has like so many followers.

Will you take a photo of me real quick?

Hold on, I need to get a photo for the blog.

Yeah, it's for the blog.

I just wish my blog was prettier.

Blogging is like my full time job.

I wish blogging was my full time job.

I'll just do a giveaway.

Did you sign up for her giveaway?

I really thought I was going to win that giveaway.

I just really wish blogging was like my job.

I got three new followers today! That's like a lot in blog world.

I need more followers.

I think I might write a book...


  1. I'm totally stalking the crap out of your blog today. Because I'm bored, I refuse to participate in my job one more second today, and you make me laugh. I think I have said all of those things at least 59 times.

  2. I think I've used everyone of those sayings :)
    Very cool post! I love it! xxxx

  3. Hahah this made me laugh and only because I don't want to admit how many of these things I've said. Nicely done!

  4. I'm not a blogger, i'm a blog stalker and friend of bloggers, and i know they have all said those things. Too funny!

  5. You seriously had me rolling on the floor here at work, not literally but you get the idea.... OH MAN. Who I really feel bad for is the husband of us crazy women bloggers :) hahahaha The fact that they understand this and hate it is great... oh man, loved this!

  6. Grabbing your button back ;)
    Ps. I don't know how to do it but you should attach your email to your blogger account because your comments come up as non-reply so I couldn't email back to your comment. If that makes any sense haha

  7. LOL you are so cute. I'm rather embarrassed about how many of these I actually do say! LOL>>> definitely sharing this!

  8. So glad I am not the only one!!!

  9. Bahahaha! Sooo funny & oh so true! Love this!

    In response to Sami's comment - Check out this post on how to attach your e-mail to comments! = )

  10. Too funny.
    I caught myself saying, wait until my blog hears about this!! Ha. I need a life.

  11. Frckin' hilarious! My favorite read in a while!

  12. I don't think I've ever said the words, "I've had 1,000 page views today"
    I get stoked about like 200.

    Megan @

  13. Pretty sure I have said all of these, multiple times. oops. You are haaa-larious! xoxo


  14. This is such an honest and funny post. I think all bloggers, including myself, go through these questions regularly!

  15. OMG did you steal these quotes from me?? lol Just found your blog and couldn't stop laughing at the Jessica Simpson post! Thanks for making me laugh!

  16. So funny, and kinda true!
    Way to put it out there.
    Thanks for visiting my blog, I am
    your newest follower :)


  17. DItto! And I totally said this to my husband... "Have you noticed a lot of the popular bloggers are Mormon?" To which he replied, "Yeah, I don't know that the women work {like he even knows a dang thing about the Mormon culture, pfft.}...and it sounds like "bloggers" are SAHMs with nothing better to do all day." Then, I got snippy. Though I have no kids, I'm betting it ain't a real walk in the park listening to/dealing with/playing with/feeding/cleaning up after those kids all day. And plus, I hope that's me some day. He can go suck a fat one... he clearly knows... nothing :)

  18. Haha, some of these are so true! Love this

  19. bahahhahahaha
    so true.
    hilarious post!

  20. Hahhaa love this! Think I've said all of these more than once!! I think them all of the time too hahahaha

    I'm your newest follower! Great to meet you, friend <3

  21. Lol I'm always wondering if I should pay for a blog design!! Love this!!

  22. Yup, I've said all of these things. So glad I'm not alone.

  23. Soooo true!!! haha thanks for this post, I LOVE IT!!! Come check out my blog :)

  24. WHY wont it center?? Like, please center. OMFG its frozen. hahahahaha. love this!!

  25. Just saw this on Brie's Post of today and she is right, it's hilarious! That's about all the questions running through ones mind with blogging!

    One question I have now - what the hell is Mormons?

  26. This post is how you get more followers! Love it, you rock funny girl!

  27. umm, this is the best "blogging" post ever. it is hard to not get caught up in the follower count. but, it sucks the fun out of writing. good post! :)

  28. Oh I love love love this. My fiance is used to the idea that he has to take pictures of me doing crafties or whatever for the blog. Poor guy.

  29. I'm new to the blogging word. Well is 7 months new? Anyways it makes me feel good that you have these same feelings even though you are so established. I'm at that crossroads now where I'm trying to decide if I'm going to activley seek readers. Thanks for making me feel like I'm not the only one. :)

  30. You're freaking hilarious and your blog makes me dieeee from laughing. And yes, I know I'm commenting on a post that is months old but I'm not even ashamed to admit I've stalked the crap out of your blog! I just wrote a blog post about how if I wasn't a Mormon I'd hope my blog would be just like yours. But since the blogger gods love Mormons more I'll just stick with what I'm doing ;)

  31. hahahha!! I just spit all over my screen trying not to laugh.
    My husband kept asking what was so funny but I'm so ashamed to tell him this is EXACTLY what he has to celebrate with me!
    NEw followers- New Posts - People who chose not to follow me back
    ..pretty much all of the above!
    I pray day and night for a blog like yours!

  32. Someone just put this link on Twitter. The two Mormon lines are hilarious! Love it!

  33. YES YES YES and YES.

    And I totally agree about Mormon bloggers!

  34. HA HA! Great post! TOO true! Love finding fellow Chicagoans. I'm born and raised but glad your here. Great sense of humor lady!

  35. Love this - I'm a new blogger and I've already said like 12 or 20 of those things. I'm leaving this comment hoping you'll follow me back by the way... :p

    1. except that my name isn't bea8252 blah blah blah. See? I have no idea what I'm doing. *sigh*

  36. Amazing! And I'm cracking up at the comment above mine!

  37. HILARIOUS. I'm pretty sure I've said most all of these things. What an awesome list!


  38. this is hilarious... but is it lame that I'm reading this almost a year after your posted it? whatever.

  39. I just really want to get more followers.
    Ahahahaha I'm so guilty in everything written here :D

  40. Oh my gosh I have had the same thought about the Mormon thing! I mean for real.

  41. Gosh! This is so true! I've started a new blog last month and I thought EXACTLY the same! So hilarious about the 'photo for blog' part and 'Mormon bloggers'(and mom bloggers, and 20-something army wives actually...) And oh, I'm your new reader by the way ;)
    Zia from Bits of Days

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