To My Friends Asking Questions About The March

Sunday, January 22, 2017

photo found on twitter.

On Saturday morning the sun was shining and it was 50 degrees by 9:00 a.m. Our morning walk led us to the 606 trail, a former train line that runs through the west side of Chicago.

On this walk I saw an elderly couple wearing matching "FEMINIST" t-shirts. They were smiling and carrying signs under their arms. I passed a young family pushing a double stroller, all four family members were wearing green shirts that read "CLIMATE CHANGE IS REAL."

The dad was wearing shorts; as were several people given that it was about to be in the high 50s, in January, in Chicago...

I got goosebumps when I saw a pack of little girls carrying signs that read "Girls Can Do Anything Boys Can," and then once again when I saw a young group of boys with a sign that read, "Boys Will Be Boys Good Humans."

The feeling on the 606 and in Wicker Park on Saturday morning was electric.

I was late to the march, but when I got downtown the feeling that I had picked up from earlier in the day had only expanded. There were people everywhere of all ages, of all colors, from different backgrounds and religions, supporting one another. If you think I'm romanticizing this I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that you didn't attend a march. Granted, I can only speak from my experience, but that is what I saw yesterday in Chicago.

No one rioting. No one was being violent. Instead I saw people hugging, holding hands, and dancing. It was a feeling of acceptance and support I don't want to forget.

As I said, I can only speak from what I saw. I'm not sure what went on at the 600 other marches around the world.

Think about that for a second. This was not just about the US, it went far beyond.

It was not a matter of Democrats marching in protest of Republicans as I've seen so many of my conservative friends state. It was that way for some, but not all. For Chris, my husband the Republican who came with me, it was about support. And equality for everyone.

I didn't go downtown yesterday to protest Trump. I am aware he is our president and even though that is not the outcome I wanted, I'm being honest when I say that I truly hopes he proves me wrong. Unfortunately thus far, he hasn't.

But yesterday afternoon was a powerful day where it felt like positive change might actually be on the horizon.

And then I got on Facebook.

This is the part when I take a deep sigh and don't know exactly how to start part two of this post.

I saw so many posts/rants/hurtful things said about such a peaceful march and I'd like to say it surprised me, but it didn't. People tend to hate things they don't understand.

I am upset. I know a lot of you are, as well; whether you supported the march or didn't. I am yet to have an insightful discussion with someone who opposed what happened yesterday and that is all I am craving. I am searching for answers as to why a march for equality brought people so much anger?

I'd like to attempt to touch on some of the rhetoric I saw floating around from some of my conservative friends and family to let them know they were heard. I saw their frustrations, I am listening, and I am honestly trying to have an open conversation. My only request is that they do the same for me.

Let's start with this one:

"I don't recall republicans protesting when Obama was elected."

Oh, but they did. I was a Republican then and I remember it firsthand. Burning black dolls? Hanging them from trees? The heinous racist acts that happened for eight years are not something you can simply turn away from.

In my own hometown during a parade there was a float that had a dark figurine in overalls standing next to an outhouse that was labeled "OBAMA PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY." Is that protesting? Or just simply racist?

The judges at the parade gave the float an award for "honorable mention."

"I'm a woman and I voted for Trump, so don't count me in on this Womans March."

As stated above, this was not a march simply to oppose Trump (for some it was, for many others it went far beyond that notion.)

Also, please don't forget why we as women have this wonderful right to vote... Because of the women who marched before us.

Women are 20 years to late to this! What rights don't we have?!

Actually, yes. I agree with this one. Ladies, let's pack up our bags and go home. We have all the rights we'll ever get. Time to call it a day, kick up our heels, and have some cosmos!

Take a breath, Taylor.

I'm getting snarky and that is not my intent. I'm Sorry. I struggle to see how women think this way. I need to remind myself we're all entitled to our own opinions.

So no, in my opinion we don't have all the rights I'd like to have. For me personally, it's that darn ol' wage gap that keeps getting my female feathers all riled! Full time female workers made only 80 cents for every dollar earned by men in 2015 (the gap is even higher for women of color.)

Call me crazy, but I'm not okay with any gap.

"I earn just as much as all the men in my company! Because I work hard and don't just gripe about it."

Dear Facebook friend I don't know, you work at a wonderful company! Sadly the majority of companies are not this way. So we shall march on until they are.

"Marching will do nothing. Stop whining and move on!"

How sad it would be if our country really did this. There would be no Civil Rights March. No Women's Suffrage. No Lesbian, Gay, and Bi Equal Rights and Liberation. Marches are a strong part of our history and will continue to be a part of our future.  To see nine of the biggest marches ever in our country, click here.

"But I saw someone holding a pussy sign!"

Women are taking back their pussies, what can I say.

"These issues aren't new. And yet this march just came about when Trump was elected... Explain that."

This is a very valid question and one that I couldn't simply answer on my own, so when I come across something like this I often seek input from those I consider to be fair, intelligent, thinkers. This came from my friend Sarah-

"It's true. It's something people with privilege have to acknowledge: that this large show of support for women of color and immigrants and LGBTQ and all other marginalized people probably wouldn't have happened if a white woman had been elected president.

But also I think it's important to note that even if that oppression wouldn't have gone away overnight had Hillary been elected, Hillary didn't openly spout racist sexist rhetoric to get elected. So yes, it happened the day after Trump's inauguration because it was to say to people who may feel hopeless or hated that you're not and we support you."

"What about women who don't ask for any kind of special treatment but instead believe, no matter male or female, we are owed nothing in life and hard work and dedication will achieve anything set our minds on!"

"We are owed something in life - acknowledgement of our humanity. Everyone is owed that, if you're fighting a system that thinks you're less than human there's only so much hard work and dedication you can do."  -Sarah

"But why were people even marching?"

This is a heavy question that has a lot of answers as so many people had their own reasons and beliefs for marching yesterday. In my opinion some of the biggest were: human rights, women's health, equal pay, paid leave, climate change, the list goes on and on. But that's only my opinion.

I also read several stories about women marching to support their friends and family who have been sexually assaulted (1 in 5 women have been, so that number adds up pretty quick.) Even if you're "not offended by what Trump said five years ago," a lot of other people are.

I think we all know there isn't an end to this rhetoric. It goes on and on and sadly it gets ugly pretty quick.

We sit behind our computers and watch as the threads get longer; either feeding off the hate, or feeling hopeless because of it. There are those who are quick to comment, those who simply lurk, and then there are those of us who write a hundred different responses in our head, or even actually type them out, but rarely hit publish.

Today I'm hitting publish. It's boiled up to the point where it can't simply sit inside me anymore.

We've all had different thoughts and experiences that have shaped who we are as people and how our opinions are formed, this is just one example of mine. I haven't written this with the purpose to hurt or cause anger, but simply because I heard the voices of others and now I'm taking a second to voice my own.

*Please keep the comments respectful (you hold that power, so I swear it's possible.)


70 comments:

  1. Great post!! I like that you have the guts to post about political issues as it can clearly spark some fires. I also believe that people should be considerate of others opinions even if they differ from their own. That's the freedom we are lucky to have! I would never have a problem with people having peaceful protests. It's our right! I do have problems when people throw bricks in business windows, break ATM machine screens and paintball a bank. And, when they paste "don't feed the pigs" stickers all over our parking meters!! How do acts like that help?! How does hurting a local business owner or putting down the police force that is there to protect you help women's rights etc? It's appalling to see how some individuals behavior masked as protesting darkens the peaceful protesting going on around me. Makes you afraid to go downtown or in public as you fear what some of those same idiots will do! I wish all were as peaceful as they were by you and idiots didn't ruin them! Kristin

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  2. Thank you Tay ❤️ Yesterday was so incredible and it's important to keep the lines of discussion open with people. Hopefully this post will help some people better understand why we marched yesterday.

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  3. The exclusionary hypocrisy of the Women’s March on Washington

    Https://www.data.lifesitenews.com/opinion/the-exclusionary-hypocrisy-of-the-womens-march-on-washington

    "...But this is what the Left is known for championing - diversity in all things, except diversity of thought."

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    1. I have been reading about how Feminism can better include Pro-Life women that identify as feminists. I still have a lot to learn, but I think posts like this are hurting both sides. Sharing opinion pieces from non-credible sources is how spread misinformation. We have to be vigilant of our education and aware of where our education is coming from.

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  4. This is a great post, and I appreciate you saying it - you have a platform and I know it isn't always easy to write on these topics. I have a similar (though not as eloquently-stated) post scheduled for tomorrow. To me, we're not "done marching" until these kinds of posts aren't needed. Until we don't have to defend our choices. Not everything is about politics: sometimes we just need to be heard. Thanks again.

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  5. I didn't participate in the march yesterday and I don't totally agree with everything it stood for, for reasons I'm not going to get into on this comment. But I will say that I never made any rude comments towards my friends/family who did participate because I don't believe that being an asshole gets anyone anywhere. I respected their right to peaceful protest - because I am American and I believe in this country and I believe that we're blessed to have the right to express our opinions publicly. Also, I commented on someones post about how not one person was arrested for being a dick. My respect for the marchers went up because of that, because they were 100% peaceful (I have ZERO respect for rioters no matter what the reason). I have seen nasty comments from both sides and I think it's crap. I think we'd be able to have better conversations about these and other issues if people respected each other above all, and respected that we each have the rights to our own opinions. Thank you for respectfully sharing your opinions :)

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  6. There are many people who do not want equality for other people. The Germans believed Hilter's propaganda, but didn't want to believe the killing of innocent children, elderly ,disable for what ever reasons he made up. He and his men could steal the bounty for themselves. It's called greed, that's what war is, greed. Read the book or watch the movie ,The Wave, it explains how people are lead and they are trained to hate.

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  7. Very eloquent, insightful, and respectful Tay. Good job!

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  8. As someone on the other side of the world, I've missed some of the news on the Women's March(es). Thank you for the recap, and your insightful thoughts on it.

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
    http://charmainenyw.com

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  9. THANK YOU FOR THIS! ONE OF THE BEST I'VE SEEN YET!

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  10. Really really well said. The great thing about America is the ability to stand up for what we believe. What I was truly shocked by was the outpouring of suppprt across the world. Yes, even in tiny little Heidelberg! This makes me proud and gives me hope for our future, and hurts my stomach when people (especially other women) tear it down. So well said.

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  11. I was on instagram yesterday scrolling through my feed and almost every single photo was either from the march or in support of it and I've never felt more grateful and proud to be a woman! And not just America - the whole world is standing with you!

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  12. I'm an American in London - partaking in the march here was electric, surrounded by fellow expats and likeminded international citizens, and gave me a glimmer of hope for the next 4 years. I'm originally from the northeast so my newsfeed was filled with similar feelings of hope, awe, pride, strength, and solidarity. I guess that's my personal bubble, and yours sounds quite different. Thanks for this post... its a reminder of our country's diverse range of beliefs, and why solidarity and peaceful, respectful outspokenness is more important than ever.

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    1. I hope that you're secretly a werewolf, Kim. That would be completely badass.

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    2. I don't know what this comment means but I find it very humorous.

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  13. Thank you for this. I just want to say that you answered the questions very well. I don't think the people who questioned the march are ignorant or stupid. It's completely understandable to question things like this, but looking at all the pictures and stories about the marches all around the world, I think what we saw was something incredibly powerful and even the doubters will realize that.
    There is one thing that keeps amazing me about the march on Saturday. And that is the positive feeling so many people have kept from Saturday. That is something incredibly powerful, especially after the inauguration on Friday. I hope the world will remember this as something positive and powerful. And that we keep fighting for our own rights as humans and females.

    Love, Eline | www.elinesreturnticket.blogspot.com

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  14. This is great, Taylor. It tackles all the big questions. It has the right amount of snarky. It gently explains the agenda of those who took a stand on Saturday.

    Regardless of political affiliation, I think this march was the coolest. It was citizens- of the world, essentially- coming together to peacefully exercise their rights to free speech. (And technically, people don't have that right everywhere, so good on those in countries that might've been taking a risk!) How COOL that something like that happened?? (The reasons aren't cool, but the fact that humans united is...) And the female naysayers drive me a teensy bit mad... because I'm SURE they voted. And need I / we / you remind them how they GOT that right to vote in the first place?! *sigh*

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  15. I love this and THANK YOU for writing it! I marched in St. Paul and it was one the most powerful, uplifting things I have ever experienced. After days and weeks and months of following the news and feeling hopeless and dejected, it was amazing to remember what feeling hopeful and optimistic is like again.

    And then, of course, I came home and promptly hopped on the internet & came across many of the comments you're describing here. Most shared among my Facebook friends was something along the lines of: "as a women, I don't feel like a second class citizen or like I don't get what I deserve or..." And on and on and on. To which I say: congratulations, and you are so fortunate. I marched because I DON'T feel like I've been given equal opportunities as the men I know, and because I have to work harder to succeed at the opportunities that I have been given. And even though, comparatively, I really am quite fortunate and have it pretty good, I marched for all the women who aren't as lucky as I am.

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  16. Thank you so much for writing this! I read someone's post on Facebook yesterday that was 5 paragraphs about why she was embarrassed to be a woman because of the march. And woman after woman commented the same thing. I was completely baffled!

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  17. As a professional woman in the business community, I can give you a few reasons there is a wage gap between what women and men get paid. Because we expect more of our employers than men do. We expect to be allowed to leave when our children need us. When my daughter is sick and needs to be picked up, or when I have to stay home with her, I expect to be able to do so. And someone else has to pick up the slack to cover my job. Along those same lines, women expect their employers to pick up the bill concerning maternity leave. For some reason, we have made this our employers responsibility. We are all screaming for longer and longer paid maternity leaves...where do women think that money comes from? And yes, I know that not all women are mothers...not all women use maternity leave. But a company doesn't have a crystal ball to know what women are going to use it or lose it. We say we can have it all...but sometimes we need to stop and think about who is giving it to us and what we are taking from them in return. I am all for equality, but YES, I am also for being given a little bit of slack because I AM a woman and a mother. I don't want to see maternity leave taken away from women because we want to be treated exactly like men...and we can't pick and choose when we do want to be treated like men and when we don't. So as a woman I made a choice...stop complaining about getting paid a little bit less, and appreciate the fact that I as a woman am treated different when I need and want to be.

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    1. But what about women who choose not to have children but are still paid less?

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    2. That was in my response. How does an employer know? When I was in my 20s, I wanted nothing to do with children. I had my daughter when I was 32. What about the women who don't want kids, but get pregnant anyways. How do you know? Nothing is in stone. Women are the ones who have children, who go through labor, so we are the ones that take the hit. It's life. If we take it away because some women don't want kids, we take it away for everyone. So, who suffers? The minority of women who don't have kids, or the majority that do? We can't pick and choose what women are to be treated different then men, and what women are to be treated the same. We are women. We are not men. We do things they can't, and we are treated accordingly. I would personally take the wage gap and the flexibility I have to be a mother, over a pay raise any day.

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    3. Good input, thank you for taking the time to share.

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    5. How about we extend parental leave to fathers as well, and then pay both genders the same wage?

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    6. That would be great, but that is not going to increase women's pay. It will decrease men's. So let me ask stay at home moms, and housewives (not in a condescending way)...are you prepared to give up some of your husbands salary to pay for paternity leave that most men most likely won't use? I'm sorry, but maternity leave is to heal from labor before going back to work. I can guarantee if we didn't need time to heal, there would be NO maternity leave. You either come back to work or you don't. That's just how the real world is. It's not our employers responsibilities to pay us to be parents.

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    7. The company I work for, a large telecom company based in NY/NJ (easy to guess), just implemented paternity leave for fathers. It was huge and met with such positive response. There's no negative implementation on anyone's salary. I am very aware that I work for a WONDERFUL company that values both men and women. I marched in spirit for those that don't get the same benefits I do. Oh, and I am child-free.

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    8. That's really awesome of your company. I work in a small town. When I had my daughter, her father and I both worked for the same company, as is what happens with a lot of families that work in small towns. Not everyone lives in a world where those "benefits" will ever be an option, and that's because it's not a benefit that is necessary. It's great when big companies can do that, but not everyone works for a big company. And, this is where the tension is coming from. "I have it, so I'm going to march so everyone else gets it". That's living in a dream world. Our economy is not and never will be strong enough for every company to let every single mom and dad have 6+ weeks off paid every time a child a born...Which is 11,000 a day in the US. Do the math. If every time a child is born, 2 people take off work for 6 weeks...what happens? My opinion is not that everyone should have paid maternity leave. My opinion is that if women want to be treated equal, then we have to stop asking for such "benefits" which is not exclusive to maternity/paternity leave in the work place...which most women don't find out until they do have to utilize them. Quick poll...how many of the women who have argued my point (and fairly and politely might I add, thank you), do both have kids and work?

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    9. I also think it's important to note that a lot of top companies are now giving men paid paternity leave as well, which is fabulous and a great step towards equality in that regard. I think that more than ever men are staying home with their children while their wives work and I think more than ever men are bearing half the weight of caring for their children, just as much as their wives. To imply that a father wouldn't bother to ask to leave to go pick up a sick child from school is a little disheartening and in my experience, not what I've seen in the work place at all.

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    10. As someone who works in the tech industry, I would say that companies are moving toward this. A lot of the positive change in equal pay, equal parental time off stems from tech companies and I believe that eventually it will trickle down to more traditional companies. I work at a company that provides 4 months maternity leave, 3 months paternity leave, and 2 months for either if a child is adopted. Pay is equal down the line. As having a child is a physical act, I believe an additional month is warranted as there needs to be recovery (similar to a surgery or other medical procedure) which is what my company based it on. I am grateful that there are companies like this leading the way and in this era of administration, I pray that tech companies and cities will be the ones to enact change, because clearly we can't see that in the federal government.

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    11. Again...I'd like to know how many women responding to my comment work AND have had children while working...?

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    12. 1. I'm slightly baffled that you think I should make less than the man sitting next to me because I just might decide to reproduce someday.
      2. If companies have the expectation that it is the mother's responsibility to leave work to pick up kids or stay home when kids are sick, then clearly we have another whole slew of issues to address in our path toward gender equality.

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    13. I don't think you should, but it is a part of our gap. Sorry for life, but it happens. That's why you are here. Because your mom, not your dad, gave birth. A woman, not a man.
      And companies DON'T have the expectation. Your kids and yourself do when you have them. Out of 10 of my friends, I can't name one where the mom doesn't leave work to get their kids when they are sick or stay home with them. Don't spout gender equality about being a parent until you are one. That's what is starting to piss me off about this thread. Live it FIRST, then march about it and speak about it. Gender equality is bullshit because it's unrealistic. Come talk to me when a man gives birth. I'm done with this.

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    14. I am a Mom and a working professional in Austin, Texas. I will be damned if I knew that a man got paid more than me JUST BECAUSE I HAD THE ABILITY TO GIVE BIRTH AND CHOSE TO GIVE BIRTH. Being a Mom should have absolutely NOTHING to do with your pay. A PERSON should get paid because of their performance, the market value of that position and the company's ability not because someone has a vagina or a penis or neither. (and NOTE: I am not a liberal democrat, but someone that likes a paycheck!)

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  18. I have felt the same feeling that you did this weekend when it comes to Facebook and Twitter. Posts like "Finally the Democrats are the most removed from power they've ever been"...and I wonder why that is something to be celebrated? I wouldn't celebrate if Republicans felt they had no power because that's half of our country (roughly speaking). I talked on my blog today about how tired I am of this terrorist mentality between the two parties, thinking everything done by the party opposite you is evil or bad, when what we should be doing is finding balance. The women's march is the same thing as that. I was saddened by Trump's initial response to the protest--it was yet another missed opportunity for him to address the concerns of half or more of the country, and the feelings of hundreds of thousands of people. The same people he said in his speech were the ones who govern this nation. But instead he mocked and criticized. It makes me sad.
    So thank you for addressing these questions in this manner. My goal is to ask questions of others to try and figure out why they feel the way they do, and hope that in turn they will listen to my thoughts and opinions as well.

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  19. This is fantastic. Thank you. I just shared it on facebook so hopefully that's okay!

    Also- I just got the "my dog's life is the best life" shirt in the mail and it's perfect.

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  20. Thanks for this, Taylor. I know what I saw on Saturday in NYC and I'm not letting anyone take that from me. I saw empowerment, I saw pride, I saw power, I saw strength, and I saw unity. I saw not just women but men and children as well. I saw no violence, no riots, no hate (sure, maybe a few angry signs directed at POTUS). For people to take to social media to berate this movement is shameful. I appreciate your post and stance, as always!

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  21. Thank you for posting on the march. I've been disappointed to see so many bloggers not post on the march as it is a movement that will benefit all of us, not just those that participated. The march was a call to action, not the end of the action itself. I've always said I believe in equal pay, access to healthcare as well as being an ally to women of color and the LGBTQ community-but now I'm going to act on it. I'm going to show up, pick up the phone, attend future demonstrations and be the change I want to see.

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  22. Love this! I also can't really understand why some people had such a problem with the marches. And I heard lots of the comments you mentioned above.

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  23. YESSSS!!!! You can't see it, but I'm practically tap dancing at my desk. Informed, not insulting, and TRUE! Watching the marches on Saturday, so inspiring.

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  24. i always enjoy reading your blog- but especially THIS post. Very insightful and loved reading it.

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  25. Yes! Thank you so much for speaking your mind in a respectful way! It's okay for people to not understand why someone would give up their Saturday, and they may even feel like they've been treated fairly - that's great. As a woman, I have been told that I've only been promoted because of my body and looks, when I speak up in a meeting to express my opinions I'm bossy and telling people what to do, and I make much less than my male counterparts for doing the same job - even better than they do. Thank you to everyone who marched and showed their support!

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  26. You have a cool dog and you have a cool head on your shoulders. Thank you for this post. It's weird feeling like you're drowning in a sea of hate coming from people whose company you've enjoyed for years. And it's even worse when you're terrible at explaining your thoughts...so you can't even begin to help them understand where the "other side" was coming from.

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  27. Love love love love. Sharing this on everything because you worded it perfectly. Thank you for being a light in this world.

    Emma | Seeking the South

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  28. I'm here to ask a serious question. I am a woman. I am not conservative. I did not agree with the marches. And here's why. Women dressed as vaginas protesting their right to have birth control paid for. Can you see where I wouldn't take you seriously? There are women in countries right now that have acid thrown in their face for going out in public without a male. Can you see where women like me say "I wish you were protesting something that helped women across the world." Unfortunately, the women on Saturday didn't represent me. Not one bit. Had you carried a sign that said "Women in Iran are stoned to death for being raped" then I would have supported you. Asking me to pay for your birth control, abortion and tampons just made it sad for me. Also, I mean this with respect. The women angered me on Saturday. You weren't fighting for all women. Not ONE SIGN in those big crowds called out how Islamic countries throw homosexuals off of roofs. They lash women for being raped. They throw acid in their faces. Can you see where this would absolutely make me sad?

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    1. YES to all this. Thank you for voicing what's been on the minds of millions. "The women on Saturday didn't represent me [either]. Not one bit."

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    2. Thanks Annie. I work with a woman whose right ear was cut off in her homeland of Iran. She "disgraced" her family while shopping in the market without her burqa on. I asked her if she watched the marches on Saturday and she said, "The women of my country are laughing at you. You have no idea what oppression is. You have no idea how lucky you are to live here." My heart broke into a million pieces.

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    3. This completely blew me away, Joni. Your original comment, and the note you wrote to Annie. It is my hope that many / all of the people who marched that day also included the oppressions of women in other countries like Iran. Though, many didn't show it. I'm sure if they were reminded, they'd change their attitude. Thank you for sharing this perspective, it was like cold water to the face. I'm sorry about what happened to your coworker and other women like her.

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    4. Hi Joni, thank you for your thoughtful comment. It's sickening and heartbreaking to hear these examples you speak about in other countries. But your comments read to me that since"we have no idea what oppression is" in comparison to these other countries we should just settle for what we've got? Because hey, at least we can leave the house without getting acid thrown on our face? That doesn't sit well with me.
      On another note, the women dressed as vaginas didn't bother me. I would never do it, but if that's how they wanted to express themselves, go for it.
      I also think it's quite bold to assume you saw every single sign that was held on Saturday considering the numbers. I didn't see the sign you mentioned, but I was only in one city. The people I was surrounded by were protesting for equality, climate change, human rights, ext, so to me that does seem to help women all around the world.

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    5. If that is something that's important to you, you could've come to carry that sign. I did attend a march and while I did some some vaginas, I think people were marching for all sorts of reasons.

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    6. Laura, I agree very hard with your comment. I just wanted you to know. :)

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    7. Taylor, you're putting words in my mouth. You asked for honest debate but shut people down who don't agree with you. Sigh. This is why we will never move forward. And this came from my co-worker: "You looked like fools showing your breasts and dressing up as vaginas. I fought for my right to BURN my headscarf. It is the definition of misogyny. I lost an ear. I fought and had to flee. My family doesn't speak to me anymore. And then I watch the march where women are making burqas out of the American flag. They are wearing the very thing that tells women they are less than. Until you know true suffering and until you know that young girls are having their vaginas mutilated as young as three ("to stay pure") then you can march in the streets." And you know what...I totally agree with her. Also, please don't google female genitalia mutilation. You will lose sleep and this happens everyday. I'd take a 20 cent wage gap over the first 30 years of her life any day. And once again. I didn't hold that sign and march because that march was about abortion, birth control, hating our president, and shutting down honest debate. You won't ever find me at a demonstration like that. You didn't march for all women...because you didn't march for me.

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    8. I really didn't intend to put words in your mouth! I'm sorry if I wrote my comment poorly. I was genuinely trying to understand where you were coming from and I was trying to say that is how I interpreted it, that's why I said "your comments read to me..." I appreciate this discussion and your response.

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    9. Joni - I think this was an excellent perspective to bring about. It truly has gotten me thinking, and you and your coworker are so right...it could be A LOT worse in the United States. I think what we may have also implicitly gathered from your comment is that the marches were deemed frivolous and unnecessary because we do not experience the horrific suffrage like in other countries such as Iran. This would imply that we as humans only hold the capacity to care about one issue at a time...I'm sure you would disagree with this statement.

      You say the march was about abortion, birth control, hating our president, and shutting down honest debate, and that's why you feel you were not represented at the march. At the end of the day, all of these matters are strictly opinion based (on both ends). There is no right or wrong about abortion - it is an opinion that is typically fueled by religious beliefs. There is no right or wrong about birth control - women take it for a multitude of reasons, and contrary to popular belief, pregnancy prevention is nowhere near the only reason. Hating our president - opinion. Shutting down honest debate - opinion.

      As simply as you did not feel represented by the march because of your opinions, these women DID feel represented by the march because of theirs. Just because it is "worse elsewhere" (and it certainly is), that's no reason to deem the march as invalid (not saying you did personally - I'm referring to a good chunk of my Facebook feed).

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    10. I'm a little late to the game here on this reply. But Joni, I agree with you that we are immensely blessed to live in this country. I can't even fathom what your friend went through in Iran or what women all around the world go through just for being women. Clearly our country is not perfect, but I will say that one of the reasons I marched was for the rights of immigrants who come into this country to escape some of the horrors of their own. I marched alongside a friend who works for UNICEF, who fights daily for her refugee friends and neighbors. Today, our President is expected to order a temporary ban on refugees. So clearly there is still more work to be done to make this nation and world a better and safer place for women. To me, the march was a start. A jumping off point. Was it perfect? Maybe not. But it energized a lot of people to stand up and let their voices be heard. And hopefully those people will continue to fight for the marginalized in big and small ways.

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    11. And I say the above not to discredit your opinion but to hopefully encourage you that some of us are really trying to fight for those women beyond our borders!

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    12. More than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

      And the president of the United States bragged about sexually assaulting women.

      I didn't march, but intimate partner violence could be the ONLY issue in America, and I would continue to call myself a feminist.

      Women in other countries might be more likely to face intimate partner violence, but 1 in 3 is a shockingly high number no matter where you live.

      I've also written in great detail more about why women marched and what inequalities we still face.

      http://bellebrita.com/2017/01/3-3-million-women-marched-now-what/

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  29. I was raised in a conservative Republican household. My beliefs changed as I got older and was able to educate and think for myself. The comments on Facebook the last few days have broken my heart, but not my spirit. We are so divided. And I was honestly about to throw my phone out the window if I saw another white privileged woman say she didn't understand the march. And I'm a white privileged woman! So thank you for this post.

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  30. Here you go again reaffirming me of why your blog is one of my favorites! We both know I don't agree with you 100% of the time BUT you still manage to keep things civil and make me want to keep following you. (Also, HARLOW.)

    You asked for feedback from someone who didn't support the march, and I had written this earlier, which might give you some background: http://therantinglatina.com/blog/womens-march/

    One thing that's still not clear to me is what exactly the purpose of that march was. And sadly, as much as you remember the horrible racist things that were done in protests eight years ago, some of us will just remember Madonna spewing death threats this past weekend, and privileged celebs advancing lies. A peaceful movement? Hm.

    Another thing that also annoyed me greatly is the perception that our rights ≠ men's rights when in many instances we have more than men do (more on my post). Your only example is the wage gap. It's a good example, but not that good, because what man and woman do you know who are 100% identical in every respect–experience, daily tasks, seniority, etc.–to make it reasonable to give them the same exact wage?

    The right to vote was brought on by another kind of Feminism: today's Feminism seems more "We hate men! Let's kill unborn babies!" than anything. Suffragettes weren't for any of those things, and yet I can't be a Feminist if I like/respect/value men...and condemn abortion? I'd rather not be a "feminist" than that kind of feminist.

    K sorry if I got a little carried away there. You asked for feedback :).

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  31. I'm all about marching, protesting, and taking a stand....as long as you are respectful. You are bringing such a negative light to the situation if you are destructive, vulgar (hello, Ashley Judd), and putting down others. The majority of what I've heard from others is that it was a positive experience!

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  32. This is so well written and I totally respect your opinions and i'm so glad you injected your thoughts on the common questions out there. I didn't get a chance to go out and march but I really wish I could have made it happen. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in a respectful way!

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  33. So well said!! Thank you for writing this and for encouraging thoughtful discussion -- which we need SO MUCH MORE OF right now.

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  34. So very well said! I hope you don't mind me sharing on facebook. You have put into words what I've been trying to explain to others and helping me try to figure out what some were so angry over the solidarity that was shown on Saturday. Thank you!

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  35. you are one of my favorite people, taylor! I don't understand why people are so angry over something so empowering? I wasn't able to march, but scrolling through my IG feed I actually got teary eyed as an overwhelming sense of love & hope came over me.

    I completely understand where women of other countries are coming from. Their oppression is so much worse & heartbreaking. But my interpretation of this march & cause is that we're fighting for them as well as us. All women, everywhere.

    Why would people want to tear that down? Especially other women? I wonder if we'll ever know...

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  36. Don't you hate it when your having a lovely day and then you go on Facebook... I could not make it to a march in my area but I sure as hell was there in spirt. It saddens me that their are women in my life that do not support other women. "You can have voted for Trump and march" I tell them. You do not need to like everything about a person. I am sad to be still fighting for the same things my grandmother fought for.

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  37. Good for you. I never have the courage to hit publish on these types of things. I've written and deleted so many posts.

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  38. The only thing I have to say about the whole thing is that ALL SIDES really need to start being respectful. I had two dear friends that believe they are feminist but are pro-life and were bashed and mocked during their march. That isn't right. If we are all coming together to preach solidarity we have to respect all women regardless if we do not agree with every single belief as most people don't agree on every single issue or President. The march may have been a great thing, but the back lash on social media just made it seem like too much and that we didn't take a step forward because too many people were spewing hate whilst sticking up for the reason or their reason not to march. If you marched, good for you! If you didn't, good for you! If you marched for abortion! Good for you! If you marched for quality air and the environment...rock on! And to end, I always love your honesty! Snarky or not...

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  39. Okay, I didn't read the comments so I don't know if this has already been said. But my question about the march wasn't so much of a what or why as a why now? Why didn't this happen on, say, November 5th when it could have completed changed the outcome of the election? It feels like people didn't do this because they assumed the outcome was all but guaranteed. So, therefore, it looks like the REAL enemy isn't "men" or "Republicans" or "Donald Trump." It seems like what we really need to fight against is our (a general 'our') own complacency.

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  40. GREAT post Taylor. Mature, thoughtful, and necessary in times like these. Thanks for speaking up, even if it means opening the flood gates to comments from hell (I didn't read many though so I'm not saying you got those!!)

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  41. Taylor, Thank you. You so eloquently and respectfully stated my thoughts. I deleted my facebook because I was allowing it to take over my mental clarity and the click bait articles along with comments fueled my hate, where there should be understanding and empathy. I appreciate you hitting 'publish' and am proud to have supported the marches. Thank you for marching and speaking your mind.

    Take care,

    A fellow female

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