When You’re Ten Years In

These two kids are hitting the ten year mark today.

And I guess I could write a cute post about all the fun we have and how COMPLETELY PERFECT we are for one another, hoping to make you all gag with joy and butterflies, but where’s the fun in that? We got married, you get it, we like each other.

I think it may be more entertaining to talk about the real stuff, like the real real stuff instead. Because after ten years together, you’ve seen some shit. You know what I’m saying? There’s been man-flu, shingles, lay-offs, meltdowns, crazy trains, me asking, “do you like my new haircut,” and Chris not giving me the response I want, and a list of other things that simply weren’t pretty to go through. That’s life though, if you’re going to be in the trenches, it helps to have someone with you.

Because when you’re ten years in, things just aren’t going to be as delicate or as neat as they were in the beginning, a time when we made sure to walk on egg shells around each other, or when I wore makeup every single day.

No, I’m not going to finish my fries, you go ahead,” (me at dinner, lol.)

“You want to watch The Holiday for the fourth time today? Sounds good to me!” -Chris.

“I think you nudged the heel of my shoe, but I didn’t mind one bit! It was cute!”

Ten years ago if Chris would have accidentally stepped on my heel I would have acted like it was a sweet flirty thing. Today, it would be a “YOU JUST BROKE MY FOOT,” kind of thing…. depending on my mood.

Like I said guys, it can be the trenches at times.

And I know”the trenches” are different for every relationship. We’re lucky that ours have been relatively small. In fact, we lovingly refer to some of our favorite arguments as our “greatest hits,” if you will. Why? I’m not sure, just to keep the spice in life I suppose.

Such hits include:

Chris thinks I don’t water enough.
I think he’s OCD about watering. (He moves the plants daily to ensure ample sunlight. You guys… c’mon.)

“Hide N Seek.”
I’m accused of “hiding” things from time to time. This can include but isn’t limited to: slippers, sunglasses, keys, a wallet, ext. I don’t hide. I simply put them in a place where they belong.

And yes occasionally I forget where that place is…

Tupperware drawer.
Chris and I have different ideas on what “organization,” means. For example, I’m a fan of the phrase “organized chaos.” Chris, however, is not.

Everything must have its own spot. And the spot must “make sense.”

Falling asleep during movies…
There’s always one guilty party here. Unfortunately, it’s usually me. And this drives Chris nuts. But I can’t help it! Someone can just say the word “sleep” and I’m out.

Being on the phone during movies…
Me, on the other hand, I’m that person who goes nuts when I don’t think Chris is paying enough attention to “my show.”

“Are you even watching? Are you? Are you sure? What just happened?”

Losing the “kitchen scissors.”
It was Harlow. I still stand by this.

And I can write about all of this now, with Chris at my side, both of us laughing at said “arguments,” because that’s just how it works sometimes. We’re aware at how ridiculous we can be, but that doesn’t stop it from happening. Sometimes the crazy train rolls through whether you want it to or not. Just ask me and all of the fake arguments I get into in my head…but that’s a post for another time.

That said, I wouldn’t trade the trenches for the days of tip-toeing around each other.

Because with the trenches comes all the good stuff, too. Like the secret language we’ve developed over the years. The language where we can acknowledge an inside joke from across the room, where I know that a shoulder shrug dance on the couch means Chris just ordered in some really good food, or an eyebrow raise at the bar means we’re about to make an Irish goodbye.

We get to be content doing absolutely nothing together. Watching hours of movies, eating pounds of pizza.

Or going out on a Friday for dinner and drinks and knowing that when we’re done we’ll ask each other, “do you want to go to another bar?” And the response will always be, “nope, let’s get home to Harlow.”

I love that response. I’ll always love it.

So I could end this by being corny and thanking Chris for “officially” asking me to be his girl friend ten years on November 3rd (even though he thought I was a little too sarcastic) but that would be pointless since I know he probably won’t read this post until I politely remind him to. (He’s busy guys, he “binge reads” my blog every other month he says…)

So instead I’ll just finish it off by saying I know how lucky we are to have had these past ten years be as great as they were. And if the next ten are even half as good, I’ll be writing this same post in 2027.

Sappy Me.