Thoughts On Our New President

On my way to the polls yesterday I passed an old woman wearing a shirt that read, “nasty women vote,” and she was absolutely glowing. She was radiating joy. It was impossible not to feel happy looking at her.

Inside my polling station, located on the west side of Chicago, the first two attendees I saw were two women who didn’t speak English, but they smiled sweetly and pointed me to a few people who did.

It was a mix of color and culture at Pulaski Park, as it always is, and the feeling inside as people were placing their votes was nothing short of joyful.

I don’t like to talk politics because I never feel quite educated enough to do so and like so many others, I get too emotional. But I will say that I grew up Republican in a very conservative state. But yesterday was my first time voting in Chicago, it was also my first time voting as a Democrat.

I owe Chicago a lot, but most of all I owe it for changing my overall thoughts and beliefs about the world around me. It showed me the privilege I grew up with that so many others didn’t; the opportunities that were just handed to me simply because of my upbringing.

Chicago has taught me empathy. And that while I’ll never know what it’s like to have someone’s struggles, I don’t turn a blind eye to the fact it’s happening.

I absolutely cringe at the way I used to view things. I’m not saying everyone has to move to a city to view things in a new light, that’s simply what it took for me. Chicago forced me to recognize my own self entitlement and ask why? What warrants me to walk around with this?

Nothing, but that’s how self entitlement works.

I grew up in a very safe bubble, full of people just like me. I felt safe and happy believing everything was right in the world. Racism, bigotry, misogyny- none of it existed anymore! Not in my world, anyway.

Granted I was also only a teenager when I thought this stuff, but still.

I have about ten different posts sitting in my drafts about Trump that I’ve never felt brave enough to publish. I think I wrote the first one when he openly mocked a man with a joint disorder at one of his rallies.

I wrote another after watching two teenage girls peacefully attend one of his rallies only to get bullied and pushed by adult men and ultimately get kicked out.

And then another after the hundreds of sexist comments he’s made about women.

And the comments about kicking minorities out of “our country.” Or trying to keep an entire religion from getting in. Remember when I talked about self entitlement above? Let’s not forget we all came here as immigrants once.

And then there was the “grabbing women by the pussy.”

The pussy grabbing is extra frustrating. Contrary to what you may believe, or the thousands of ignorant memes spread about it, the biggest issue with this isn’t simply because the man who is about to be our next president openly said the word “pussy” in the way that he did. But the problem lies with the fact it is sexual assault to grab any woman by their pussy when they don’t want it, and Trump bragged about it.

And sexual assault is a huge problem in our world, are we all aware of this?

And since we’re on this topic, if you’re someone wondering how a woman could be into 50 Shades of Grey, but also be offended by Trump’s comment do you understand that the difference is CONSENT? Among a thousand other things. A woman can read and enjoy books or movies that are sexual in nature, or dance on stage like Miley or Beyonce, but that doesn’t mean in doing so she’s opening the door for any person to grab her by the pussy whenever he wants.

Do we get this? I feel like so many people are confused on this topic.

One more time, a woman can be sexual, but NOT want to get sexually assaulted. Or DESERVE to get sexually assaulted. No one deserves it, ever.


I’m not sure what it’s like where you live, but today in Chicago a lot of people woke up very sad and scared. My friends who are minorities, or gay, or anything different than mainstream America are worried about what lies ahead.  And why wouldn’t they be? The hate and bullying that Trump incites is downright scary.

I have a lot of friends and family who voted for Trump. We all do, he won after all.

This entire election I’ve kept my thoughts to myself (for the most part) around Trump supporters and have really tried to understand what it is they’re all seeing that I’m not. But the only answers I ever received were, “he’s not Hillary,” or “Hillary’s a liar.”

To which I always wondered, what about Trump gives off the “You can trust me, I’m totally an honest guy” vibes? Because I definitely missed it.

Or there were the standard vague responses like, “he won’t hire taxes,” or “he’ll get rid of Obama Care.”

I used to fear those things too, but then I came to Chicago and saw the poverty here and having some of my income get spread out to help others less fortunate didn’t bother me so much anymore.

But now I’m getting preachy and that’s not my intention. It’s really not.

If you voted for Trump, I’d like to know what it is you admire about him? Why you think he’ll “make America great again?” I know not everyone voted for him simply because they hate Hillary. If you know, please tell me.

And if the comment section gets ugly I’ll shut it down in a heartbeat. I just can’t take any more hate today.

And yes, I know it’s typical of me and my idealist ways to think we can actually have an open discussion about what just happened last night without it getting heated, but hell why not. Stranger things have happened lately.

So here we are. Donald Trump will be our new president.

Okay then.

Also Chicago, I love you. So much. There’s sadness in the city today, but also so much love.



  1. November 9, 2016 / 10:37 am

    I love, love, love this post. Chicago did the same thing for me. I cannot believe last night's results. I also come from the Midwest, and I'm sure I know a lot of people who voted for Trump, my own father included. When I asked why, he provided the same "crooked Hillary" (insert eye roll here) response. I'm WAY too invested in all of this to write any more, but I think it's so sad and I fear for our country and the people who live in it. I'm horrified that we came together to elect such a hateful person (although Hillary does have the popular vote, which is a whole story in itself). Anyway – thanks for the post!

  2. November 9, 2016 / 10:54 am

    I'm right there with you. I don't feel educated enough to discuss much about politics, but I share the same feelings you expressed. I have asked Trump supporters why and I got the same "Hillary is a liar" response. Which, confuses me because I thought a lot of politicians are liars?! Anyways, I will be praying for our country and for Trump. That's all we can do now!

  3. November 9, 2016 / 11:12 am

    This is really great. As someone who spent years working in politics and on campaigns, I can tell you I'm as confused as you are. I simply don't understand what seems trustworthy or good or conservative about this man. All I see is hate and intimidation. Maybe I'm an idealist. But I'm really disgusted today.

  4. November 9, 2016 / 11:18 am

    Thank you for posting this today. I am so heartbroken and distraught about how things shook out. I don't understand how this happened. Now we just have to wait and see if he can put any backing to the ridiculous things he promised. Pray for all of us.

  5. November 9, 2016 / 11:25 am

    This is a great post. I just moved away from Chicago (sob) and I feel the same way you do- it opened my eyes in so many ways to lack of equality in this country and taught me so much. I also voted Democrat yesterday, for the first time, because I could not stand the idea of Trump being president. It's been really hard today

  6. November 9, 2016 / 11:33 am

    Of the people in my office, I know of two others aside from me who don't like Trump. One doesn't really like Hillary, and the other was "hoping she would win, because she wouldn't last 100 days. She would be indicted." And I'm in Oregon, just outside Portland. There is so much ignorance, it's unbelievable.

  7. November 9, 2016 / 11:50 am

    I think what really makes me sad is how it affects everyone, around the world. it isn't just us. Even the most qualified woman can't beat an insane man.

    • November 9, 2016 / 2:49 pm

      Helene, I love this. This is globally-affecting and you of all people know this. But – does it really come down to what gender the candidate is? When you say "even the most qualified woman can't beat an insane man" is that fair? I cannot believe it has THAT much to do with gender. I hope not, at least. <3

      Taylor – there are some interesting perspectives below in the comments. People wanting to have ownership of the money they work so hard for. To feel like dirty government can be cleaned up. I get that. But what I find so interesting is the areas of the country that vote a certain way. Why is it that the major cities and built up areas of the country voted for Clinton, and all the areas in between voted for Trump? Is it because you said – major cities open peoples' eyes? Are people in the "heartland" really that oblivious to the things that should matter most?

      Am I talking in circles? Probably. My head is spinning from all this. I think I'm going to the animal shelter tonight and just hug and love on a bunch of kittens. That's what matters to me most. Bringing LOVE to the beings that need it most.

  8. November 9, 2016 / 12:00 pm

    I've really become an emotional basket case over the last 15 hours because I am so afraid of a country where Trump is president. I think you did a great job writing this in a non confrontational way. I didn't have that level of tact on my blog this morning and I applaud you for the graceful way you are able to speak about this.

  9. November 9, 2016 / 12:11 pm

    So, I guess I'll be the asshole and say I live just outside Chicago and voted for Trump. I did not vote for him because of his crazy ass antics, but I also wouldn't vote for Hillary just because I'm a woman. Hillary read from cue cards and had an ear piece and Trump just spoke. Sure it was all kinds of madness, but he isn't a fine-tuned politician. It's very similar to the Reagan days. That guy was an actor and it was one of the best times for America thus far. It's the bigger issues that I am concerned about. How America is constantly exporting jobs and goods. How people that do the jobs that keep America running are getting the shit-end of the stick in a lot of cases. People that fix cars and work in machine shops and do all the stuff that computer-literate people do not know how to do. These people aren't stupid, just because they didn't necessarily go to college. They simply chose a different route in life…more hands on. These are the people we all go to when something breaks, right? Voting Republican these days isn't how it used to be, like you said, where it's all the elitist. I am far from elitist but I just want to reap some rewards I have been working my ass off for, and retire comfortably. Is that too much to ask? An income simply doesn't go as far as it used to and I'd like a little of it back to decide where I share my money, be it to dog shelters or poor people or disabled children. I'd like to make that decision myself. Illinois has some of the highest taxes across the board, which no one is okay with, but it's because we all feel it's necessary to help out literally everything and everybody. That money has to come from somewhere and that somewhere is from the 30-45% of taxes in our hard earned paychecks. Imagine if we had free college? Free sounds great until you look at your shitty paycheck and wonder why you are working so hard for nothing. Why try to make more money when you can just make less and let the Government handle what you can't afford, right? Let's all not try so hard and make our problems someone else's problems. That doesn't make any sense. I'm not saying that there aren't some seriously dire situations out there, but we can all also donate our money to those causes that speak to us the most, should we want to. I also highly doubt anyone would bother revoking same-sex marriages and woman's mandates. Seriously. These types of movements are in place regardless of who is in office. I mean, woman having the right to vote in the first place was not set in place by a woman president! There is so much more to discuss and this is literally the tip of the iceburg. So I know I'll just get bashed for voicing my opinion in the first place. I don't hate Hillary. I don't hate anyone. Obviously Trump needs some serious refinement, but I also have to assume a few other of our 43 presidents may have said similar things, behind closed doors perhaps, but may have refrained from saying things out loud. After all, that's what makes a good candidate, right? Learning their cue cards? We'll just have to see what the next four years brings and if it's a total shit show, everyone can point their fingers and loudly proclain I TOLD YOU SO. Sound good?

    • November 9, 2016 / 12:22 pm

      But… as a businessman, Trump personally exported all kinds of work and paid the exact people you're talking about jack shit. I get your concerns, but it is baffling how you think Trump will fix it.

      Also confusing – "let's not help truly poor people" but you need to keep more of your taxes because you personally are incapable of making enough money to support yourself the way you want. That's your bad. You should have gotten a better job and chosen a different career path. Lots of other people have plenty of money after taxes. It is just illogical to me- "don't help poor people, but help me because I can't donate how I want." it's disgusting. Take some personal responsibility and get a better job for yourself.

    • November 9, 2016 / 12:30 pm

      Honey, it's over. Taylor asked for opinions, and I gave mine. Luckily we don't have to agree, otherwise it'd be a very Hitler-nation. This isn't a personal attack to anyone, it's simply a different opinion. And that's okay.

    • November 9, 2016 / 1:05 pm

      Your use of a condescending "honey," cavalierly invoking Hitler when you voted for a party supported by the KKK, and dismissing Trump's election as a mere "difference of opinion" when he is hateful on a devastating way to many groups of people much better explains why you voted for him than your weak job/tax explanation.

    • November 10, 2016 / 11:25 am

      Not my hand again, you're joking right? Telling someone they should make more money and get a better job so they can support everyone else – how in the world is this logical? How about the people who need support, why don't you tell them to get a better job?

    • November 10, 2016 / 7:00 pm

      Yes. it was a bit harsh, but the demonizing the poor makes me angry.

      The amount of money that comes out of one's paycheck and actually goes to social services is a pittance. If that amount bothers someone so much that they don't want to help people who are disabled, uneducated, not as smart, not as capable, elderly, have no connections, grew up in hard circumstances, who are stuck in jobs where they can't even put a roof over their head or are unable to work– YEAH, I think that person should strive to make more money for their own personal happiness. Social programs aren't going away. Taxes aren't going away. People whining about "myyyy taxes" start to sound like the people on social services after awhile, IMO.

  10. November 9, 2016 / 12:28 pm

    Longtime reader (lurker) here. I don't think I've commented ever, but I thoroughly enjoy your blog! I voted for Trump. I don't agree with everything he says or does. But I disagree more with Hillary. I'm from a small town in a Republican state. I've lived in a large city, but I didn't have the same eye opening experience you did. My family has a small manufacturing business that my dad started and I work for him. I didn't vote to provide more for all of the families in need. I voted to make sure that my family can continue to provide jobs for our extended work-family. I voted Trump because Healthcare cost is outrageous. People that have to purchase it outright can't afford to buy the coverage and what they can buy is horrible coverage. Increases in the healthcare we provide our employees and their families comes at an outrageous cost to us and it increases about 20% each year. We could be using the money we throw at the increase to create more jobs and provide more coverage, except we can't afford to hire anyone because the cost of benefits is ever-growing.

    I consider myself more in the middle of the left and right, which I would bet that most of America is, too. I'm Pro-Choice, for gender equality, for marriage equality, for the LGBT community. I don't think our government has any right to be involved in social issues, stick to the issues that we need government for. But in the same breath… I'm pro being able to choose where my money goes. I give to charity. I have a few that I research and donate to yearly. I donate items I don't need. I give to families who are in need. But I do not feel that it is right for someone to dictate that I must do that. That's taking away my right to choose.

    As for the sexual assault. It's deplorable. But we also have to remember neither of them have a total clean conscious when it comes to being involved with or covering up that kind of behavior. I don't think anyone wants to vote FOR someone involved in that. But as a whole, we weren't left with much of a choice when it came to a "good, clean candidate".

    To sum it up. No, I don't think Trump is the white-knight who's coming in to save us. But I do honestly believe that this entire election will shake things up. And maybe that is exactly what our broken government needs, to be shaken up.

    • November 9, 2016 / 12:37 pm

      This is exactly what I was hoping to see when asking for an open discussion from sides I haven't heard, thanks for this comment Gretchen!

    • November 9, 2016 / 2:16 pm

      AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!! Such a great comment about your choice in voting for Trump. I commend you for being brave!

    • November 9, 2016 / 2:35 pm

      Exactly how I feel!

    • November 9, 2016 / 3:53 pm

      YES. To all of this, Gretchen. The name calling and hatred on facebook from Hillary supporters is completely outrageous and divisive and hypocritical if you ask me (calling Republicans racists/bigots/sexists, etc.). No one WANTS to hear or understand why the people who don't agree with Hillary don't agree with her. This is deeper and more complicated than "well, she's a woman and I'm a woman!". I agree with everything you wrote. I am completely socially liberal, but I vote fiscally and I think people are just tired of the status quo of the establishment. People don't trust Hillary and that was very evident yesterday.

      Taylor- your post is great and thanks for sharing your opinions and opening the forum to WANT and TRY to let the other side's reasoning and rationale be heard, because just like everyone's opinions, it matters too. I want to believe that most people are good, even the ones who had their own reasons for voting for Trump, and the hate that is being spewed around is NOT the answer to moving forward and trying to better the country and close the divide.

    • November 9, 2016 / 9:34 pm

      Have you heard about the Libertarian Party? Because you basically just described yourself as a libertarian.

    • November 10, 2016 / 8:10 am

      Cara, the name calling is alive and well from both sides of the spectrum, not just liberals or Hillary supporters. You are choosing to see what you want to see, but it's coming from both sides.

    • November 10, 2016 / 1:02 pm

      YES! My dad is a hard working, 60 year old man who had a heart attack when he turned 40. He has to provide his own insurance, and because of Obamacare it costs more for him to do that now than it does for me to pay All of my bills as a single mom. I would love to have such a lifestyle that I can afford to cast my vote to make sure everyone else in the world is happy and loved…but I don't. My vote has to go with the person who is determined to fix what is broken here…not everywhere else.

    • November 10, 2016 / 1:34 pm

      Nikki- totally agree and it is not OK on either side. I am just saying that it is uncalled for to group everyone who doesn't support Hillary and voted for Trump (I supported nor voted for either), into a category of being racist or bigoted. Also not saying that EVERY person who is unhappy with the outcome of the election feels that way about the other group, but still it has been an issue.

      Also, anyone burning the American flag during "peaceful protesting" is completely ignorant and disrespectful and I honestly can't believe it has come to that.

  11. November 9, 2016 / 12:36 pm

    I'm speechless. I also was raised Republican. This was MY first time casting a democratic vote. No I didnt love her. But she was definitely qualified, and clearly the better option. I'm absolutely horrified, and so scared. Not only because I'm a woman, but for my friends who are any color other than white, my fellow females, friends who are LBGT, friends who have CHILDREN, gah, DAUGHTERS that they have to explain this to. I can't even. And I can't talk to my family about this, bc they voted for him. It's not been a good day.

    oh and i've been up since 330 am b/c that's when i woke up and saw the news. like i could sleep after that?

    • November 9, 2016 / 7:16 pm

      I have also been awake since 3 a.m. after tossing and turning all night. It doesn't sit well with me, but I believe we can rise above it and look back and tell our daughters we tried. It is the best I can come up with.

  12. November 9, 2016 / 12:42 pm

    First and foremost I voted for Mr. Trump because of the Supreme Court. We need conservative views on the picking of this great judicial body. Those men or women who sit there will impact the lives of our children and grandchildren for years to come. Mr. Trump is a great believer in the 2nd amendment…..HRC views on abortion, especially late in the pregnancy were very troubling to me. HRC past and present dealing with many are especially troublesome. These are just a few of the things for me. I am very impressed with Mr Trump's family and their work ethic.

  13. November 9, 2016 / 1:03 pm

    This makes sense to me. If you are a second amendment supporter and anti-abortion, there's no way around it.

    I also agree Ivanka has a strong work ethic, simply don't know about the others.

  14. November 9, 2016 / 1:18 pm

    Thank you for this! So rare and refreshing to see a blogger express their opinion on politics! I grew up in New England and live in California now, so I've been pretty sheltered from Red America, and was shocked by the results last night. I have real fear for my brown family (I am first generation) and my LGBQT family and friends. I already heard a story of one Indian-American being told to "pack his bags" on his morning commute because "we are going to make America great again". 🙁

  15. November 9, 2016 / 1:30 pm

    Very well said. I moved to Chicago from St. Louis over 6 years ago, and it took me moving here to not only open my eyes and mind to diversity, but to love and appreciate it. The majority of my friends here are Asian and Hispanic, and on more than one occasion, friends/family from St. Louis have said…what's with all the Asians? I just shake my head.

    Societal and environmental bubbles, while comfy, do a lot of harm b/c these bubbles don’t allow for empathy. How does one know what it’s like to walk in another’s shoes if everyone’s shoes are the same? And empathy is one of the most important characteristics for humanity…to not only survive, but thrive.

    And while I think that this election is a step backwards, I hope it’s a message to politicians to clean up their shit. They need to do better. Everyone needs to do better.

    • November 9, 2016 / 2:02 pm

      I had already commented before reading your comment. I thought I was on my own in believing that empathy is a major game changer in life, or it has been for me. You stated it so well and I wish I could have gained empathy for others without the tragedies it took for me to do so. However it has changed the way I see everyone, for the better. Thank you.

  16. November 9, 2016 / 1:31 pm

    I am such a huge fan of yours. I find myself relating to you in so many ways but this post makes me want to move to Chicago and be your bff (I know that position is filled — don't worry Har, I'm not going to steal your bestie!) Thank you for being honest and open about your feelings. The blogosphere could use a little more of that. Xoxo

  17. November 9, 2016 / 1:46 pm

    Gretchen, I'm kind of in the same boat that you are. I'm a small business owner, and health care costs are KILLING our ability to hire and expand. It's also heartbreaking to me to see retirees come into my office with tears in their eyes bc the $ they saved to live on is being eaten up by healthcare and they're having to go back to work. Which is incredibly difficult for someone to go back to work after 10 years out of the workforce, and who is older.

    I also am personally affected by a DOL ruling that has taken place in the financial services industry. One of my fav parts of my job is getting to help my peers with their finances and investing. This new ruling will make it impossible for those with less than $100k (or $250k, depending on whether your advisor is with Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, etc) to work with a personal advisor. I don't make hardly anything on people that have less than $100k, but they're my peers and I feel a moral duty to help them. This DOL ruling is stripping them of their right to an advisor and it's stripping my right to work with them.

    I hate the way Donald Trump came across to people during his campaign, and I'm certainly not condoning it. However, he doesn't speak for me in how I treat others. That's on me. And on each of us. If someone falls into that mindset of treating others with such disrespect and hatefulness, that's on them and it's OUR duty as citizens to call it out when we see it.

    Thanks, Gretchen, for putting into words the way some of us feel:)

  18. November 9, 2016 / 1:54 pm

    I'm sure I have nothing knew to add but I am commenting anyway. I would not vote for a woman simply because she is a woman, and I am one. I have felt that Hillary was self serving since her days in the White House with her husband president. They left the White House flat broke yet through the Clinton Foundation it didn't take long for them to be wealthy. So many scandals, lies, etc is not what our country needs.
    However, Trump is NOT someone I wanted to run for president. Yes, he speaks without thinking it through, and speaks about subjects I feel he had not fine tuned to be politically correct. He is a business man and does business to make a profit. He wasn't running for president when he make a lot of deals but Hillary hasn't had our countries best interest at heart in many of her decisions either. There are pros and cons to both candidates. I feel that the budget must be balanced yearly which hasn't been done since Obama has been in office and that Hillary would be an extension of that. Trump may not know as much as many politicians but he is plenty capable of learning and I feel will work hard in doing all he can to turn the state of our nation around. I totally agree with what you said about women and consent and yes you are correct so many do not comprehend the difference. I am from rural Mississippi and grew up much like you described you did and haven't moved to a big city such as Chicago so I haven't seen what you have.
    I feel that Trump may not be perfect but goodness knows I feel that he will work his hardest for the betterment of America. Also I read an article recently that I thought was talking about Trump and Hillary running for president because everything that was said was what everyone is saying about Trump but at the very end it disclosed that it was about Reagan when he was running for the Presidency. I feel that Trump is a fireball and shoots from the hip but also feel that he will stop and make decisions based on our good and not make a quick decision just because he gets mad. I don't trust Hillary. She is well spoken. She quoted a bible verse in her speech this morning and her meaning of it was FAR from what it actually means of which any uneducated person could read and understand. I am an empathetic person and know she was/is upset and know she worked very hard, I simply do not trust much of anything she says. That isn't to say that Trump is trustworthy, however I feel if this country can make any progress whatsoever it will come from him.
    We all have our feelings and opinions based on our beliefs, experiences and our lives and aren't going to see eye to eye on everything. I respect your opinion, love your blog, and commend you for posting about a subject so controversial. Many won't and I understand that also.
    I do believe in God, and ultimately feel that God is in control. Even though I grew up much like you did, my adult life has been far from being in a bubble. It has been tragedy after tragedy but I focus on gratitude. I wrote this last part to say, regardless who had won the Presidency, my faith is in the Ultimate President of which I still have many questions and don't fully understand but will one day.
    Thank you for allowing me to comment. As I said I do respect and agree with much of what you said. I'm just stating how I see it. I do hope your day gets better. Thanks again.

  19. November 9, 2016 / 2:38 pm

    Thanks for writing this. Popular/full-time bloggers have so much to risk in doing so. My little no-name blog is a safe space for me to say whatever I want but I know that's not easy for everyone. I'm feeling a lot of emotions right now; none of them good. But on the other end I'm lifted up by people I know – friends and family – and also several communities online that I know are hurting, too. We're all in this together. 🙂

  20. November 9, 2016 / 2:56 pm

    I was refreshing to see if you posted today – thanks so much for writing this. You are awesome and inspiring 🙂

  21. November 9, 2016 / 3:18 pm

    My heart hurts. This is still too new.

    Her Heartland Soul

  22. November 9, 2016 / 3:38 pm

    I'll echo the sentiment I've seen here. Thank you. My perspective on this is almost exactly what you communicated here. I'm left hoping that this awesome responsibility of our nation's highest office will encourage President-elect Trump to rise to the occasion, bring out his best qualities and shame the ugliness we've seen over the past 18 months.

  23. November 9, 2016 / 3:41 pm

    I, too, registered Republican the year I turned 18 and voted against Obama. Twice.

    This year I voted Democrat. Was I thrilled about our choices? Not in the slightest. There was just not a single fiber in my body that could justify supporting Donald Trump. As a female, there are so many things that just disgusted me about his campaign, not to mention every hateful word he spewed. I know that not everyone who voted for him agrees with those things he said. I know that people are mostly good and they were voting with their conscience just like I was. I just question if everyone truly thought through their arguements all the way. The biggest being Planned Parenthood and abortion. I used to be SO anti-abortion (again, grew up in a very conservative household). We can't keep using this tired "I don't believe in killing babies" arguement because the repreccusions of making abortion illegal are so much more damaging. Women that have no choice will go to horrifyig lengths to have an abortion. Babies are going to be abandoned after birth at an alarming rate, I'm afraid. It's going to be awful and I don't think a lot of people have thought about it. You can't argue to me "people who want guns will still get guns even if they're illegal" and truly believe that if you make abortion illegal that people will not find a way around it.

    I never expected that I would be so affected by this outcome. I don't think I actually ever gave myself the chance to process the fact that it could actually happen. I have cried in the shower, I cried myself to sleep, I am terrified. I have voted against winning presidential candidates before and shrugged off the loss. I can't seem to shrug this one off and I don't think I'm alone.

  24. November 9, 2016 / 3:57 pm

    Thank you to all my fellow Conservatives out there for voicing our thoughts so eloquently (and for electing our next President) and to you, Taylor, for writing about something so non-popular.

    I, too, voted for Trump. I'm going to blog about this later but for now, the summarized version is that to me, he was always the better candidate. Taylor, you're probably a saint in the making, and while I also dream of opening my own animal shelter, I don't work so my income gets distributed among those less fortunate. I work so I can save and invest that money, and help fund the life of my future family.

    – Abortion. I'd never want anyone who was fine about killing unborn babies to be the face of our good country.
    – Economics. Just stop it with the spending already. No, we don't need a bigger government. What we need is to slash the underperformers and save significantly.
    – Second Amendment: Not a huge issue but to think that the prospect of defending myself or my family defending itself if we needed to could be in danger wasn't appealing to me.
    – Character: I get it. Trump has said some deplorable things (that don't include calling others deplorables, but I digress). He's merely said bad stuff. She, on the other hand, has done bad stuff, and all along I wondered, "WHY are people OK with that?" Her husband was bad to women, she was bad to women, they've accepted "donations" from countries they shouldn't have even given the time to, and now their daughter was found to have spend $3M of their foundation money for her wedding. The list doesn't end there.

    So that's just a few of my reasons. Again, thank you for opening up this dialogue. I'm ecstatic about the huge Rep wins yesterday, but as he said "last night," the REAL work has only just begun. I pray he truly makes America great again.

    PS- Idk if you believe in the power of the subconscious and thinking BIG, but from the very beginning, he's said not only that he'd win, but that he's done the best X, has the best Y, or will do the best Z. For decades he's believed that betterment starts w/the person, and he's embodied that for me since last year. I really admire that about him.

    K now I'm done :).

    • November 9, 2016 / 9:39 pm

      Trump admitted to sexually assaulting women. That's not just saying deplorable things. That's doing something deplorable and then bragging about it. Multiple women have come out and accused him of sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape.

      I agree with you on the Clintons treating women terribly. That's why I voted for Gary Johnson. But you can't just say that the Clintons treated women terribly while minimizing Trump's terrible actions against women.

  25. November 9, 2016 / 4:28 pm

    Oof. The saint line is a little bit condescending, no?

    Wanting to help others less fortunate doesn't make someone a saint, just a human.

    • November 10, 2016 / 12:55 pm

      But the inference from that response is that is that Annie is less human than you, because she would like more of a say over to whom her earnings go, which is just as condescending.

  26. November 9, 2016 / 5:00 pm

    I don’t think anyone—any sane person, at least—is arguing that Trump’s a particularly good guy. But personally, I didn’t base my vote on whose character I like more. I mean, Trump is a brute but Hillary is, in my opinion, a manipulative liar. So how could I?

    For me, most of it came down to the candidates’ policies on the issues that are important to me and will affect my life. For example, Obamacare and Common Core. As far as other social issues, I’m pretty divided. (I’m pro-life in most cases but also support same-sex marriage, so those were a toss-up.) In the end, Trump’s stances lined up more with my opinions than Hillary’s, so I voted for him.

    Another reason I voted for Trump, though, is how the media has handled this election. I mean, I know a lot of people who voted for Trump—non-racist, non-sexist, non-hateful people—who, like me, were afraid to say anything remotely supportive of Trump during this race for fear we’d immediately be painted as all those things. And that’s really not right.

    People shouldn’t be afraid to vote a certain way because the media says that is the “wrong” choice. But throughout this race, the mainstream media was essentially one-sided. They beat to death every one of Trump’s wrongdoings (some of which deserved it but others, in my opinion, were things that were twisted out of context) and basically brushed aside the shady things Hillary has done. It got to the point where some people—people who have rational, non-hateful reasons for voting a certain way—felt like they can’t share or defend their thoughts. And I hated that.

    Basically, one reason I voted for Trump is that I think it would be great if Trump winning could make the media realize that there is a huge chunk of people whose thoughts they are essentially ignoring. I mean, who knows… maybe one day they’ll even start reporting news without any bias.

    Could be wishful thinking though!

  27. November 9, 2016 / 5:03 pm

    First, I don't believe Trump is racist. I believe he is tired of people coming over here illegally and getting benefits from our government that should go to citizens of this country (our elderly, veterans, etc.,) and he is tired of terrorists having easy entry to come over and attack us on our own soil. As for the 'pussy' remarks he made, while I agree it was 'crude', he was talking 'man talk' to another guy, and he did not know he was being recorded. While women hate this type of thing, all men talk that way to each other at some time in their lives. Do I think Trump is a rapist/pervert? No! I think he is a super-rich guy who took advantage of his wealth and position with women who were down for that sort of thing; I don't think he forced anyone. I don't think he has done anything worse than JFK, only there was no one around to record JFK's shenanigans back then. Unfortunately, rich and powerful men have always behaved this way. Being a successful businessman, hopefully he can straighten out the economic problems in the U.S. and bring jobs back here that are being outsourced overseas. I stopped having any respect for Hillary when her husband was president and he so blatantly was cheating on her. I felt like if she had any self-respect she would have packed her bags then and walked right out of the White House. Obviously, she had her sights set on her own political future and her marriage didn't matter to her. Then, there's the matter of 'those e-mails'. For all that's been criticized about Trump, at least he hasn't been caught in any illegal activities, so far.

    • November 9, 2016 / 9:42 pm

      Touching a woman's vagina without her consent is sexual assault. Period. No way in hell do "all men talk that way to each other at some time in their lives." You're basically saying that all men are rapists if you think all men talk that way.

      Rich and powerful men using their privilege to sexually assault women doesn't make it right.

    • November 9, 2016 / 9:59 pm

      In addition to what Brita sad — Donald Trump cheats on his wives. So to be totally clear on the self-hatred, it's okay for a man to cheat on his wives, but not for a woman to be cheated on? Cool.

    • November 10, 2016 / 7:07 pm

      Brita….there is no proof that he touched anyone's vagina without permission. There are plenty of women out there who would mess with him simply because he is a billionaire!

      notmyhandagain….I have no idea why you have self-hatred, but that's sort of off-topic, don't you think? I didn't say it was 'ok' for him to cheat on his wives….EVER. Don't put words in my mouth or assume things. It is up to his wives what they will or will not put up with. Whatever happens between him and his wife once they are in the White House and she is First Lady is between them. If he has the gall to do that THEN, of course, she should leave. I have no idea what kind of marriage he has with this woman; but it was obvious to everyone that Hillary only stayed because she was looking to her own future political agenda, and that's just so fake.

    • November 10, 2016 / 8:05 pm

      In the infamous tape he talks about someone he was trying to bang — while he was with Melania. You stated you lost all respect for Hillary for staying with Bill, yet you compare Trump favorably to her even though he has cheated on multiple wives. That implies that you think his behavior is superior to hers, even though arguably, to most people, it is FAR worse to BE THE CHEATER.

      You do it again here — what happens between Bill and Hillary is for you to judge and use against her. What happens between Donald and Melania is "between them."

      That is a double standard.

      Also, wow, I truly hope no one ever sexually assaults you and then people call you a liar. Truly.

    • November 12, 2016 / 10:22 am

      It is in NO WAY a double standard…probably you are just too dense to understand. It is FAR WORSE to be cheated on and put up with it, than to be 'the cheater'. You cannot control being cheated on, but you can control YOUR actions, and what you are willing to put up with, or not. Trump did not sexually assault anyone! It's ridiculous how the American public believes lies propagated by the media and calls them fact, with no basis of proof! It can only be attributed to the 'dumbing down of America'. Hillary PAID these so-called 'witnesses' and 'victims' to come forward with all these lies. If he had actually sexually assaulted anyone why didn't it come out early in his campaign, or back when he had his reality show?? Exactly….! Because it didn't happen. I truly hope no one ever sexually assaults you, either, hun. Truly!

    • November 14, 2016 / 1:20 pm

      *It is FAR WORSE to be cheated on and put up with it, than to be 'the cheater'. You cannot control being cheated on, but you can control YOUR actions, and what you are willing to put up with, or not.*

      LOL. It's odd because you are defending cheaters so hard, just like someone who stays with them would. So interesting.

    • November 16, 2016 / 4:31 pm

      I am not defending ANYONE. You are obviously just too immature and dumb to follow an adult conversation. How did you get 'defending' out of any of my remarks?? You need to just run along and play, hun, and leave important subjects to the grown-ups. LOL

  28. November 9, 2016 / 5:05 pm

    I vote in Alabama so it wasn't a question if we would go red or blue. However, I just spent the last 14 years of my life in DC and grew up in NYC. I voted Trump. My husband is an army officer and I cannot overlook her lack of response with Bengazi. My husband has been deployed and I cannot fathom how those families feel that the State Department didn't respond to their need. My husband also works in federal law enforcement. All lives matter in my mind but Hillary never once vocally supported the police. She never supported those doing their jobs in a tough environment. Yes. Some police officers were doing terrible things but I need my husband to feel comfortable doing his job and knowing his president has his back. I worked for the government for years. We were always taught over and over how to handle classified emails. I have a hard time getting over her lying about that and thinking she was above the federal employees requirements…maybe not breaking the law but so cocky in the way she handled it. I am ready for a female president but I wasn't ready to tell my children that a liar was the best female candidate. I would rather take the blunt ( though often rude) business leader over a liar. I think Trump has too much pride to fail and I think Hillary would have tried but placed blame if and when she did fail.

    Sorry, that may be a ramble but those are just some of my thoughts.

  29. November 9, 2016 / 5:14 pm

    I love everything about this. I love it because it's honest, it's real, and it's raw. Growing up in a world surrounded by people who think just like you is exactly what I know as well. Going to college in the middle of no where to open my eyes.

    The experience you had at the ballot, is what I felt like when I entered the bar yesterday to watch the election. That feeling of hope slowly drifted away with every cheap beer.

    We as a country are going to power through. Fingers crossed.

  30. November 9, 2016 / 6:51 pm

    Thank you for this, Taylor. I don't really have much to contribute because I'm still so baffled & ashamed & scared. scared for everyone who is not a white, straight man. I'd like to think maybe it won't be as bad as we think it will, but who am I kidding? All I know is together is the only way we're gonna make it through.

  31. November 9, 2016 / 7:56 pm

    Great post! I honestly could not believe out of all the people in this country, our choice was between these two people. My choice was Trump. Was he the lesser of the two evils, in my opinion, yes! I honestly believe he can help with our economy. He is obviously a great businessman and I hope he can turn this country around. We own a business and between insurance, etc. We are constantly behind the 8 ball. Someone needs to help small business owners. Do I agree with the way he speaks – absolutely not! Do I agree as Hilary stayed with her husband as he cheated on her – no. What about those emails? I live in a small town, which is overrun with illegal immigrants from Guatemala. Our schools are at 30% non English speaking. Our cooperative learning was discontinued for more "English as a new language" teachers To be hired. They have their babies for free, while I pay over $2,000 a month for our coverage. This needs to end. Our resources need to go to our citizens. The elderly, the veterans, and people who need financial assistance. I'm not saying Trump is our answer, I'm saying, we need to unite and back him. The voters have spoken. I do believe he will take no shit from terrorists! He is all we have for the next four years, let's see what he does before we criticize. I am hoping he's going to surprise us all in the end. #makeamericagreatagain

  32. November 9, 2016 / 9:47 pm

    I voted for Gary Johnson.

    I've been a vocal proponent of sexual consent for many years. I've been an adamant supporter of survivors of sexual assault. I've put up with a lot of shit for being a woman with opinions on the Internet.

    I do this because the two greatest things I can do in life are prevent sexual assault from happening and support anyone already hurt by it.

    Bill Clinton and Donald Trump both have a long list of accusers. Trump admitted outright that he sexually assaults women. While Hillary is not responsible for her husband's actions, she is responsible for what she did to discredit his victims.

    So I voted for the candidate who hasn't sexually assaulted anyone, who hasn't actively worked against survivors of sexual assault.

    And while I applaud the honesty of the Trump voters in this thread who are small business owners or military families, I am disgusted at the ones brushing away Trump's abuse of women.

    • November 10, 2016 / 1:39 pm

      I'm not sure that anyone is "brushing away Trump's abuse of women", I think it has more to do with the fact that it was a VERY tough choice for some people and most people don't trust, like or respect either candidate, but you have to understand that everyone puts weight differently on each issue in politics, and it is possibly for someone to not like Trump, not condone his behavior or words at all, but still choose him over Hillary for a lot of reasons. People who voted for Trump didn't just take one issue or one thing he did into consideration when making a decision like this.

  33. November 9, 2016 / 10:12 pm

    I'm sorry, I tried to read these comments with an open mind, but I'm tired of "going high" when they go low.

    I don't get how people "know" Trump is a good businessman. He didn't release his tax returns, and what he did release, showed the exact opposite.

    I don't understand how voting for your own tax refund amount and not having to pay people health insurance isn't selfish. If that's what you want to vote on, fine, but own that it is selfish and NOT for the greater good of all people in this country.

    I don't get how saying "overrun with illegal immigrants" isn't racist. I am tired of people wanting to say racist things and not be called racist. "Overrun with illegal immigrants" makes them sound like they're not even human. Do you think they are human? That is a horrible way to speak of other human beings, just because they weren't born in the same country as you, something completely outside their control. God forbid the day we ever need anything from another country after how we've treated our fellow human beings.

    I do understand if you want guns and no abortion, you have to vote Trump. If that's what's MOST important to you in your life, then I get it.

    So many of these responses did exactly what you described — could only justify their position by talking poorly about Hillary and calling her a liar. Which is another baffling point, as Trump lies constantly.

    It seems like many of these posters are just completely misinformed. Yes, I get that's condescending as all hell, but how are Democrats supposed to listen and grow and appeal to people that won't even listen to reason or fact? It's puzzling. It feels like an abusive relationship having to share this country. Maybe we would be better off if with the West Coast and New England being separate from everyone else as we will clearly never agree on anything.

    Lastly, plenty of women didn't vote for Hillary "just because she's a woman" – that's dismissive and ridiculous. She is extremely qualified, whether you like her or not. I would say the same about Mitt Romeny, Jeb Bush, even Ted Cruz. Trump is utterly unqualified.

    If you feel afraid to publicly tell people you're voting for Trump, don't blame it on other people. That's coming from within you. No Clinton supporters are on record physically attacking Trump supporters, that is the other way around.

    • November 10, 2016 / 9:57 am

      How is my saying "overrun with illegal immigrants" saying they are not human? How is it racist?

      Overrun – in large numbers

      Illegal immigrants – a foreigner who enters the US without an entry or immigration visa.

      I did not say they are not human nor was it a racist comment. See above definitions.

    • November 10, 2016 / 11:11 am

      First, how do you know every single one of them is here without proper documentation? That they all have babies for free? Do you even know that every single person you're referring to is from Guatemala? Yet, you lump them together as if they are all one unit, not separate individuals with different circumstances. That is the first sign you don't consider them human – stripping them of identity, to you they are just "Guatemalans" – all one in the same. All bad.

      Second, being a human is not illegal. It is a derogatory and outdated term. Further, Melania Trump spent time workong in the U.S. without proper documentation, and you fail to condone that. This implies you are only bothered by people who don't look like you coming here without documents.

      Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong – but you voted for someone who is married to a person who violated the same immigration laws that you're upset about. How does that work for you?

      You also tellingly didn't answer my question. Do you think they are human, the same as you? Or are they less than?

      You may not mean much by it, but your comment shows absolutely no compassion for people who came here for a better life. Do you think people WANT to leave what they know and their families and be amongst people that hate them? No, but sometimes that is their only option.

      You speak of them like they are vermin or wild dogs, to be disdained and looked down upon.

    • November 10, 2016 / 1:00 pm

      No one is voting for their tax refund. They vote for less taxes to be taken out of the paychecks that they earn when they go to work every day. No one says they won't spend that money the best way they see fit to improve their lives and the lives of others. It's simply being able to be in control of where your dollars are spent. If you are referring to the business owners comments about healthcare, no one said they didn't want to provide healthcare. I don't know a business owner across the country that doesn't want to provide a safe, clean place to work along with good benefits for their employees. I'm not saying ALL are like that, but I don't know a single one of them. The issue comes into play when providing those benefits stops you from providing more jobs and more benefits that it's a catch 22. Yes, you are still providing hard-working families with benefits but you are prevented from increasing the number of jobs you provide which in turn provides also more healthcare benefits to those employees and their families.

      Finally, if you understand that certain values are MOST important to some and that is what causes them to vote the way that they vote, why can we not accept that everyone's values are not exactly the same in priority order and that is what causes everyone to be different, to vote different, and to live different. It's the beauty of our country, that we have that right. Acceptance isn't a one way street, it should go both ways. And if I vote with the future of my family business in mind and the ability to help provide 60+ families in my small community with well paying jobs and good benefits, then that's my value and that shouldn't be something we have to defend.

    • November 10, 2016 / 5:00 pm

      It seems a little bit like you want it both ways here. On one hand "we want to be heard" (that's not you specifically saying that, but many in rural America have expressed this sentiment in other outlets and another comment here) but on the other, "we shouldn't have to defend ourselves." Why? It seems like you just want to drop the mic with what you have to say and not hear any critique. That strikes me as childish. Your "values" don't happen off by themselves without impacting anyone else.

      Here is what I am hearing — people in small towns want less money taken from them in the form of taxes (via business or individual) and don't want to be told how to provide healthcare.

      I think it's just sad to a lot of people that you're willing to prioritize those things above what other people LOSE with a Trump presidency. And that IS just a difference in priorities/morals/values. My tax rate would have to get extremely high before I was okay with electing a known racist/misogynist/supporter of war crimes. To me, there is a huge sense of entitlement in rural America to think we should invest in you when it seems like you could give a crap about even basic dignities of a lot of our population.

      That is why I personally just don't think we have enough in common to remain a country any more. I would love to dump the red states, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

    • November 10, 2016 / 5:19 pm

      I did not say people don't want to be told how to provide healthcare, I'm sorry if the way I worded it implied that. The issue isn't providing healthcare. It's that the cost of healthcare has skyrocketed and the plans aren't as good even though they are more expensive. We WANT to be able to provide employees good healthcare at an affordable rate, we WANT to be able to offer competitive benefits, we WANT to provide a good workplace. But with all of the regulations, it makes it harder.

      I do think you are right that many people, not just "red states", want the freedom to make choices for themselves and not to be forced into choices by demand of the government. There are good and bad people in the world. Some take advantage and some will prosper without the stronghold on them. But that happens no matter who is president and no matter what is provided to them.

      Personally I believe that there is a middle-ground. A win-win situation. I also understand that many don't feel that way. And I am not saying that a Trump presidency is 100% the right answer. But I do believe that we, as Americans can come together for an answer to benefit everyone. No matter who is president it doesn't chance how I treat people, how I raise my daughter, how I conduct myself, or who I am. I don't give one person on this Earth the power to have that much control over me as a person. At this point we have a choice, make the best of it or don't. And a lot of people when they voted felt like that was their choice between the 2. And that's what they felt they were trying to do. So we might as well just agree to disagree and get on with our lives. Live each day as you would've last week knowing that you as a person can impact lives in a positive way instead of relying on 1 person to be the change for all.

    • November 10, 2016 / 5:44 pm

      Not really sure what the "win" is for black and latino people is when half the country is willing to elect a President that discriminates against and hates them.

      That's not one person, that's millions of people saying, "My own finances are more important than racism."

      But sure, sum it up to "just treat people well", shrug it off, it's not a problem in your community, so who cares.

    • November 10, 2016 / 7:25 pm

      Maybe we'd all learn a lesson if we listened to understand instead of listening to respond.

      We obviously have had different life experiences that have shaped who we are. I didn't post a comment to argue, I simply posted to answer Taylor's question. I don't know you or know anything about you. And you don't know me either. We aren't going to suddenly see it the other persons way so there really is no point in continuing to assume what I mean when I say things. I can't speak for the millions of others that voted for him, only for myself. This is my reality and that's all I can share.

    • November 10, 2016 / 7:57 pm

      I agree, I appreciate your patience and kindness in your responses. But you're right, despite you being reasonable in what you're saying, I just can't imagine being okay with voting for a racist at any cost. I clearly need a break!

  34. November 9, 2016 / 10:33 pm

    I'm with you, Taylor. Personally, I do not believe there is any justification for a vote for Trump. And for those who claim "Hillary is a crook and has done much worse," Trump has never (shocker!) been an elected political official. He hasn't had the opportunity to commit war crimes (yet). His resume isn't comparable to Hillary's. To those who say he's an excellent businessman: he isn't (check unbiased news sources for that one, y'all). For those of you who say "talking about grabbing a woman by the pussy was crude, but..": there's no defense. This wasn't an episode of The Apprentice," this was real life.

    I did NOT vote for Trump for many reasons, but mostly because I'm genuinely afraid of his radical supporters. The ones who filled his rallies. The ones who now feel justified to openly express their racist/sexist/misogynist points of view because their president makes them feel like it's okay to be politically incorrect. It isn't. I will continue to hope for the best and pray that "we liberals" are all gravely wrong.

  35. November 10, 2016 / 6:33 am

    Love this post. I also cannot understand how so many people could have freely chosen to elect a man who is, beyond reasonable doubt, a racist, a sexist, a narcissist and who has not articulated in any real or meaningful way his vision and plan to “make America great again”!

  36. November 10, 2016 / 6:50 am

    I'm glad that you put this post out there, and also shared your own experience with having your eyes opened by so many things. It says a lot about you that you were able to look outside of yourself and see how others are affected by things AND care about them. I myself do not understand the justification of the things that Trump has said or done. Especially the "locker room talk" comments. People justify it away and it's not justifiable! I'm hoping we can move forward in the coming days, months and even years. Maybe something positive will come out of all of this–I really hope that it does. But yesterday definitely felt like a black rain cloud.

  37. November 10, 2016 / 9:05 am

    Thank goodness for checks & balances within the government – this is NOT a dictatorship. Let's hope there are wiser people within the three branches of government who will be able to limit what decisions he makes. Either way, whether Trump, Hillary, Gary, Jill or Harambe won, when it comes down to the end of the day I'm still my own person. I'm still kind, I smile and make small talk with strangers and I help where I'm needed. I'm a good citizen of this country and if I visit other countries I will do my best to represent the USA well. I will raise my kids to have empathy, compassion and love for all different people, but I was going to do that no matter who became president because whoever the president is does not define ME.

  38. November 10, 2016 / 9:16 am

    I just spent a great deal of time reading all of these comments and replies, and I still don't have the courage to publish my thoughts or opinions on politics, even while I hide behind a computer screen.

    I spent part of my work day reading these. I am getting paid to read and write about this topic. What we all need to remember and keep in mind is that no matter who is running our country we still live in the greatest country in the world! We have the right to piss and moan about Trump and Hillary and Obama and whomever we want to. We have the right to elect an official who will run our nation. Isn't that incredible in and of itself?

    We can all agree that our government is corrupt. It's something that, unfortunately, I don't believe will ever change no matter who is in office. What I think is important is that we stop being divided over our political agenda and come together as Americans. No matter the color of your skin, who you pray to, who you love, what you do for a living, or what political party you belong to, the one thing that we all have in common is that we are Americans. Let's celebrate that!

  39. November 10, 2016 / 10:38 am

    Just throwing my two cents out there…

    I think we as a country had to choose between two really, really terrible candidates. And I like to tell myself that those who voted for Trump weren't actually voting for Trump, but instead were voting for change and to uphold what they believe. I don't think it was a Clinton vs Trump election, it came down to Supreme Court positions, healthcare, etc.

    BUT. I think the important thing is that we recognize this is how democracy works- we aren't always going to be happy about who's in office, which way the House and Senate lean, etc. Things change and we get to vote for the change we want to see. That's the beauty of being American.

  40. November 10, 2016 / 10:54 am

    Taylor I have to applaud you for writing this post! It's not easy, and I appreciate it. Personally I voted for Hillary, and was ready to see the fist woman president. But I look at my family and friends who feel like rural America is losing their way of life. They are, when the economy bounced back it bounced back in the cities. Then when they try to move the cost of living is too high. Suicide rates in rural areas for young people have skyrocketed, it's almost impossible to get a well paying job, and they don't know what to do. This was people who feel like they haven't had a voice in 8 years, and now they do. I don't think it was about being sexist, racist or nationalist. I think it was about them finding a candidate they believe will bring back the good paying jobs and preserve their way of life. It's a clashing of the Americas, and I pray that we can all have the empathy to see where they're coming from too. Because the people who voted for Trump are my family, they are the people who raised my sweet, amazing husband-to-be and will be the ones I hug at Christmas. It's hard, but we're all Americans and it's time to look hard at what we're doing, and what can we do to make everyone feel like they're getting a seat at the table.

    Thank you again for writing this. I had a lot of the same feelings until I talked to my fiance's grandmother last night, whom I love.
    Ashley |

    • November 10, 2016 / 12:36 pm

      This was interesting and eloquently put. I think what's hard is a lot of people in urban places struggle too, but since we live amongst blacks and Latinos, we don't identify them as "the problem" and it's hard to understand thst thinking. Several comments here referred to this concept of other people getting "their" money via taxes or health insurance – how does that relate to if a good job is created? It's hard to listen to because it doesn't make sense and sounds like a bunch of incoherence.

      Similarly I have a hard time understanding how people think the party that cause the Great Recession is going to do anything to help them. A lot of these "great jobs" were union jobs, which the right has completely demonized. So it's just hard to understand how people are voting for a party, and specially an individual, known for taking advantage of the middle class.

  41. November 10, 2016 / 11:10 am

    It just hurts. I think it's a priority thing. It's not necessarily that all Trump supporters support racism, sexism, etc but it just shows that these things are not a priority to them. I get that not every Trump supporter thinks black people deserve a worse off life, I get that not every Trump supporter thinks women deserve to be sexually assaulted and treated like near dirt, I get that not all Trump supporters think gay marriage should be abolished, I get that not all Trump supporters think accessible healthcare should be abolished, but what I do get is that their priority lies in putting a man in office that is "different" or "speaks his mind" or who "isn't a liar." That is where their priorities are, plain and simple and that is why I hurt.

  42. November 10, 2016 / 11:41 am

    Maybe it's because I've lived here all my life, but continued Chicago living under the most corrupt politicians in the whole damn country has pushed me more and more libertarian and far less liberal – I'd like government to just go away as much as possible because it's not doing anyone any good. (Yes that's an over broad statement but yes I believe it does more harm that good today, at all levels.) I voted GJ, and I'm happy with that. At the end of the day, I wasn't voting Hilary just because she was a woman, because we agreed on maybe 15% of the issues… not to mention that I got my healthcare bill for next year the day before the election and they want to up my premium by $200 each month while also decreasing the level of service so if there were any iota of me leaning Hilary, it would have been quashed in that moment. Trump's rhetoric terrified me, so although we agree on about 78% of issues, I wasn't voting him because I do take personality into account, since there's no way for him to deal with other countries only on paper. GJ was my best candidate, the one I agreed with most, and that's how I voted. There was no winner here in the major parties, in my opinion. Our country is 'which one do you hate less' voting, and it's nonsense. And the fact that less than 50% of eligible voters bothered to vote in the presidential election, let alone the primaries… it's just pathetic and sad. I was going to say 'at least there's nowhere to go from here but up' but I don't even think that's true.

  43. November 10, 2016 / 11:56 am

    Taylor, this is a great post. I think that you said it very well & without attacking anyone for who they voted for. Excellent.

    I too woke up scared & confused & hoped that it was all a dream but it was not. It is what it is & there is nothing more that I can do to change it, I did my part, I went to vote.

    I don't talk much about politics because people can get so mean about it but the ones I was able to have conversations with the main thing they said about why they went with Trump is because he'll have a new perspective coming from a non-political background. To me, that didn't make sense as I would want someone who knows how things are run but, again, that's me.

    I am scared for the future of my stepdaughters & nieces…but I guess only time will tell.

  44. November 10, 2016 / 12:16 pm

    I voted for Jill Stein because my views agree most closely with hers, and I live in NJ where it was pretty much a 100% set deal that Clinton would win it. I wanted to vote for someone and go to sleep that night knowing I voted for who aligns with me, the most. If I lived in a state where it was more of a swing state, I wld have voted for Clinton. I couldn't live with myself if I voted for a person such as Trump. I just couldn't.

  45. November 10, 2016 / 2:19 pm

    Can I just ask why the people posting here keep insinuating that those who voted for Hillary only did so because she's a woman? I'm a woman, and I did not make my voting decision based on the gender of the person I voted for. Shaking my head over here. For me it came down to a) real experience in politics and dealing with foreign nations b) policies with positive outcomes for all of Americans and c) someone who could represent America who I would not be ashamed to have as the face of my country. Gender did not play into it at all.

  46. November 10, 2016 / 5:35 pm

    Thank you for sharing this Taylor. You're brave to do so. I've wanted to do the same on my blog but I can't bring myself to do it. I posted something today on Facebook that was very non-partisan and respectful and I'm still getting lambasted and having to nicely insist again and again with what my original point was. I refuse to "argue". It's exhausting.

    Anyway, I came all the way down here just to say, I get it. I was born and raised rural, in a red town, red county, red state. Everyone I ever knew growing up was republican and I was lead to believe that liberals could never even be Christian at all. (I'm now a proud Christian liberal, so it is possible.) I moved all the way to southern California and my whole world was changed. I met people from different walks of life. Immigrants, here legally or because their parents came here not-so-legally when they were infants, changed my perspective on immigration. People of different cultures and ethnicities opened my eyes to their realities, and destroyed my old ideas on things. It was life changing and I don't ever want to go back to the ignorance I once held. I try to explain this to friends back home as my reasoning for being so much more liberal now and they say that my new perspective is elitist and uppity. There is definitely privilege in all of this, but I'm so thankful I could use that privilege to be a more understanding and welcoming person.

    I personally wanted Bernie, but I'm going to gracefully move forward and face each day the best I can, treating others with respect and protecting anyone else who isn't receiving it.

  47. November 10, 2016 / 6:36 pm

    Thank you for this post. I grew up with a really different background- lived in the Bay Area in California with liberal immigrant parents, now live in Seattle, and worked for a progressive nonprofit as a political campaign organizer right out of college. To be perfectly honest, I know of 2 people total of my friends on Facebook who might have voted for Trump. Growing up in this bubble, I've never really understood the other side and the fact that anyone could swallow the sexist, xenophobic, homophobic rhetoric of Trump is beyond comprehension for me. Maybe I grew up in too much of a bubble…I honestly didn't see this outcome as a real possibility until it was happening. Reading the comments here has been really hard, but I'm trying to understand how this happened so I'll continue to check back. For now, I'm hoping organizations like Planned Parenthood and the ACLU have a record fundraising month…we're going to need them.

  48. November 11, 2016 / 3:15 pm

    I have so, so many issues with Trump and the results of the election, but I really don't feel qualified to address all of my issues with him because there's so much I don't know details about. But I do know about health care and how the ACA affects people and what repealing it will do. Repealing it could very well kill some of my friends, if not because their diseases will kill them without health care but because their quality of life will be so horrible that they will end up taking their lives. I am so, so, so scared for my life because we learned this year that the only thing stopping my rheumatoid arthritis from attacking my organs is my extremely expensive treatment (a form of chemo). And without health insurance, I will not have this treatment, and I will be unable to do anything other than lie in bed.

    Beyond that treatment, I take 38 pills a day and 4 inhalers every day plus another form of chemo every week. Other than the infusion treatment, my medications cost at least $1700 a month without medications. And that's not counting my medical appointments. Repealing the ACA could lead to me losing my health insurance which could, quite literally, ruin my life.

  49. November 11, 2016 / 7:44 pm

    I am fed up with people (mostly WHITE people) telling those that are upset with the election results to 'get over it' or that 'it's going to be ok'. I went to bed Tues night before midnight still believing there was no possibility Trump could ever be elected President of our country. I woke up Wed morning in complete and utter shock, nauseous and sick to my stomach. Fear and disgust had overtaken me. I'm done with people saying we are being 'sore losers' or we need to just move on. I believe this man to be a real danger to humankind and that is why I cannot get over it. This isn't even about which 'party' won. It's bigger than that. This is about a person whose goal in life is to win at everything he does. He ran for the highest office in our nation to claim another win. And now what? What about the people he is supposed to serve? Has he ever served anyone in his life? Public office is about sacrificing your own self interests for the greater good. I question how his making billions of dollars for himself will help him to serve our poor, our mistreated and our marginalized populations. I believe him to be a real danger and therefore I wholeheartedly agree and sympathize with people who will not back down and simply accept this person. This is how dictators rise to power. Staying close lipped when you see and hear wrong doing is just as bad as agreeing with those statements and actions. I still believe in goodness of mankind, in humans ultimately looking out for each other and not resorting to an 'every man woman and child' for himself mentality and feel good will always triumph over hatred, bigotry, racism, elitism and every other prejudice our nation continues to struggle with. For all of us, I hope I am right.

  50. November 13, 2016 / 9:58 pm

    Beautifully written post and is exactly why I admire you so much. I wish I had the patience to read through all these 90 comments but I just don't have it in me after the last week.

  51. November 14, 2016 / 7:41 am

    I love this post. I cried all day on Wednesday, wishing I had taken the day off of work. Unfortunately I work right in the "hub" of racism, sexism and Trump support, so that made it even harder to try to function. To see happy, smiling faces of the men that continuously call me the "pretty party planner" and knock me down to non-exempt because they don't want to pay me what I'm worth, yet will give the man sitting next to me a "bump" to make him exempt. I had to walk into a college for work where I knew at LEAST the students would agree with me. My coworkers? Boss? Family members? Maybe not so much. It's disgusting the amount of hate in this world. And to me, whether you're an extreme republican or not, I just will not understand how you can vote for hate. For sexism. For racism. For misogyny. For so many awful things … I just will never understand. Voting republican I understand. But for hate?

    P.S. I've been working to move to Chicago for the last few months and this election just beefed up that search. 🙂

  52. November 16, 2016 / 6:36 pm

    Bravo, thank you for your post. I couldn't articulate my feelings and it's like your post took the words out of my mouth. Also, it took me a few days, but I read all of the comments and I appreciate the open rhetoric on here. Thanks for creating a space for that.

  53. November 27, 2016 / 2:02 am

    Thank you for writing this post. It hits the nail right on the head.

    Weeks later, and I am still just hoping for the best — but honestly still terrified of what is to come.

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