How To Make Soup and Write a Book

Tick tock goes the clock.

a countdown to Black Friday, Thanksgiving, a family trip to Cabo, Cyber Monday, the holidays, Christmas, ext ext, all very fun exciting things except when you own a retail business even the “very fun exciting things” can still really stress you out and make you want to crawl into a corner and hide with a blanket draped over you.

Or perhaps into a really full clothes rack at a department store, like one with mens suit coats that nearly touch the floor. Those used to be my favorite hiding spots.

Or under a parachute in gym class.

I’ve wanted to come here all day to post something but my mind has been too messy with the thought of pushing sales, and trying to meet the writing deadline I set for myself, and so all day long I couldn’t think of anything to say.

Until now.

I’ve decided I’m going to write about soup.

I’m going to write about the soup I made for dinner and I’m not going to talk about winter or writer’s block. But before I don’t talk about winter OR writer’s block, I’d just like to say both have been hitting me hard lately.

Winter’s been hitting me like the first few days at a new job that you already know you hate. When the person training you is telling you about your 30 minute lunch break and where you should take it and you get a lump in your throat and that feeling in your stomach that makes you want to turn and run.

And the writer’s block… well it’s all in my head. Its hanging out with the little voices who are getting quite the chuckle out of me trying to write these last chapters. They like to snort and laugh and remind me that there’s no point in trying anyway. Stop now. Run back to that job you hated on the very first day…

Winter and writer’s block- thank God I have nothing to say about either!

Now for that soup.

It’s a combo of several recipes, probably. I just tossed a bunch of stuff in the crock pot and hoped for the best.

First to go in crocker:

carrots, celery, and onion. 

maybe put in a cup of broth. I suggest chicken or vegetable. I used a little of both.

Then take your dog on a quick walk. Get mad at him for eating garbage then immediately get embarrassed when a neighbor hears you telling him, “we’ve talked about this and I just don’t feel like you’ve been respecting me lately.”

Next up:

Add some zucchini. I buy the minis because I’m lazy and they’re easier to cut.

Then go try to write the part in your book where the character who’s been missing realizes she’s in a cult. See how that goes for you.

Spend some time wondering, “is it cult or occult?”

Whatever happened to Colt McCoy? Who IS Colt McCoy? Why do I know that name?

Then:

Add cannellini beans.

So now you’ve got a bunch of vegetables and broth. (Add more broth.)

Go back to your book. That blogger character, excuse me I mean influencer, what does she learn about herself in the end….WHAT?

Do some jumping jacks. Hold arms in front of self and scream, I am ready to receive!!! *shut the blinds.

Now:

Add a can of roasted tomatoes. 

Write down, “book, I am here and ready to write you and let’s both stop making such a big deal out of this. It’s annoying.”

Scratch it out and rewrite, “I am here and ready and I appreciate you.”

Cut up the chicken sausage!

I bought the Italian seasoned from Trader Joe’s.

Add it to soup. Then add some spinach. 

Almost forgot to tell you to SEASON, SPICE, and make it all NICE! When I cook I season the hell out of everything. Chris and I are not bland eaters. If it’s not hot and spicy, what’s the point?!

For this I used: spicy paprika, hot black and red pepper, Italian seasoning, garlic powder, oregano, rosemary, and a few other things.  *maybe tone down the spice.

Start cooking Orzo.

Realize when it’s far too light that you’ve never actually cooked orzo and maybe you should have stirred it more frequently. It’s pasta… so why does it look like oatmeal?

Dump the orzo in the trash.

Because we don’t need that negativity in our life. If it’s not going to contribute to the soup, then it can leave! This soup is a place for positivity and feeling good about ourselves and finishing something! And a shitty little clump of orzo is just going to get in our way. BYE, ORZO.

Finish with some parmesan. 

Then pour a glass of wine, get some crackers, and sit your ass down on that couch and finish what you started.

Expect a self help post tomorrow.

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