Why I Started Blogging. Why I Continue.

Before August is over I have to write one quick post about the birth of this blog or what kind of blog mom would I be?! If memory serves, this blog is actually celebrating it’s 82nd birthday this year! Crazy, I know! Let me take you back to the start of it all…

It was a hot summer’s day back in August of 1936. And back then summer’s were hotter than they are now, twice as hot, in fact. Heat moved in and it didn’t move out, not even at night. Instead it wrapped itself around you a little tighter in the evenings, like a dog curled at your feet, breathing on them with big heavy dog breaths.

I remember that the cicada were singing as loud as the rumble of the trains rolling through town and together they drowned out the sounds of nearly anything else trying to make a peep. That is until the labor pains started. The first groan left my body in a way that even I didn’t understand, like a monster crawling through a dark cave seeing its reflection for the very first time. I turned to my husband LeRoy and said, “I think it’s time.”

“Time for what?” He asked, the scent of whiskey stung hot on his breath. Like a dog, curled at your feet, breathing big heavy dog breaths.

“Time for me to start a blog,” I groaned, a little louder this time, the pain getting more intense. The monster inside growing stronger.

“I have no idea what that means,” he said. “It’s 1936, we have a lot more important shit to worry about than starting a blog. Go back to bed.”

But I didn’t go back to bed. Instead, I started a blog.

And there you have it! That’s how this all began. Happy Friday. Bye!

(jk.)

In truth, I started this blog because I like to write. Weird stuff (above) normal stuff (sometimes) all the stuff. I feel most like myself when I write. I feel grumpy and claustrophobic when I don’t. As an English major, once I finished college I needed a way to keep writing and keep myself accountable.  *Yes, some English majors are terrible at grammar and punctuation, it’s fine, let’s move on.

So one day while I was sitting in a shitty little cubicle I thought to myself, are blogs still a thing? No, I decided. But I started one, anyway.

I wrote about 50 posts before I told anyone it existed. I wrote about 300 before I realized I could add images to a post, or (gasp!) check traffic on a post. I remember the first time I saw that over 1,000 people were reading my sarcastic little rants. It blew my damn mind.

Back in the day, I had to keep this blog hidden from employers and potential employers (because I was a mad shit-talker.)

“You better be careful with that blog thing you have, employers do google searches now. You’ll never get a good job!” People warned.

But now my blog is the reason I actually get more jobs. Kinda crazy how that all worked out.

I sold out about …. five years ago, give or take. I started getting my first paid posts and I was so excited. I’m famous blogger now? I thought. For the first 3-4 years of this blog it never dawned on me that people actually made money from blogging. (I’m oblivious to a lot.)

But when I was unemployed and this site was my only income, I hustled hard and took all of the campaigns. Bless you for hanging in there with me during those years. Thanks to my t-shirt business, this site has pretty much returned to the dark ages where I get to say and do as I please. I’m lucky I get to be very choosy about what (if any) campaigns I take on. But I don’t judge bloggers who do a lot of sponsored stuff, they’re just trying to make a living and doing what they have to do. I simply preferred to take a different route.

That said, this blog has brought me a lot of cool shit I never would have expected would come my way back in 1936 (2009) when it all began. I’m really grateful for that, however it’s all this cool shit that sometimes distracts me from keeping my focus on what’s really important, which is working toward a goal I’ve been half-assing for nearly a decade now. (Finishing a book.)

The shiny things that occasionally get thrown my way make me hungry for more shiny things. And then I find myself deeper and deeper in a hole of superficiality and Instagram likes and “hey I want what she has” thoughts.

Maybe I should learn to pose like her. And wear that outfit. And highlight under my eyes like that… None of these things are me, buy hey, maybe they could be?

The only person I have to blame for falling in this hole is myself and I know that, and yet I willingly jump in it at least once a week, anyway.

I try not to, but I struggle with the comparison game in this world. I sometimes feel like a big old loser when I see a new girl pop up every day who amasses a following of 100k within six months and I’m sitting over here twiddling my hitchhiker thumbs like, well shit.

So then I ask myself, is that who you want to be? This person I’m envious of? And the answer is always no. So then I find myself confused as hell about why I would feel “left out” or “left behind” about a world I don’t even want to be in…  but still seem to have this feeling that I should want to be in it… Help me, I’m crazy.

Does anyone else have this problem? When you allow yourself to feel bad about something you’re not, or something you’re not doing, but when you’re really honest with yourself you know it’s not right for you, anyway? (And yes, this post is my therapy session for the week, did I forget to tell you this at the start? You can invoice me at the end. I’ll pay in t-shirts.)

Wow, this post has gone off the deep end. But then again, maybe it hasn’t when I think about it how it started.

Long story short, blogging is one of the few things I’ve kept with the longest in my life. It’s brought me some amazing opportunities, and also some annoying insecurities. But I think I’d have those insecurities with any job or situation, it’s called life.

The best thing I can do is put on my blinders, keep my focus straight ahead, and just do what brings me joy. Remember why I started…

Happy bday month blog, thanks for always listening.

And when I say thanks for always listening, I’m talking to you. I don’t know how I won the jackpot with readers, but I did. This blog’s been all over the place from 2009 until now. From the days when I just ranted about Topeka, to made only list posts, “Ten Ways You Know You Have Eyes,” to 100% blog talk: “HOW TO MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS BLOGGING,” and back to now. You’re good people (and animal lovers) and I appreciate that more than you’ll know.

Cheers to 100 more years? I’m an OG blogger, I will NEVER let this thing die. Mark my words, I will be the last blogger standing.

 

Xoxo

(Insert blog ad about something pertaining to today’s post. maybe a train?)
Blossom.

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