“I feel like I’m trying to balance on a tightrope walk right now,” I said to Chris as we took Har around Wicker Park last year at this time, or maybe it was in September of October, I’m not really sure. The end of summer and start of fall meshed into one for me. “It’s like I’m trying to tip toe across this tiny rope as best as I can, and for a while I do okay and feel like I’m really moving forward a bit, but then boom, just one bad blood draw or phone call will throw me off and knock me right back to where I started.”
It was at this very moment on our stroll with Harlow, when a huge crow swooped down in front of us and picked up a squirrel in its mouth and took off into the sky and we both just stopped and looked at each other like, no way in hell did that just happen. A few minutes later I glanced over and saw that Chris was googling, “is it bad to luck to see a crow eat a squirrel,” on his phone and I realized we were both on that tightrope together. Of course we were.
I don’t know why I thought of that memory today at my appointment as I got my blood drawn for my glucose test, but I did. It wasn’t in a melancholy way, but more of a memory washed with gratitude. I think about all of my past blood draws as I’m getting the current ones and how thankful I am we are where we are.
And where we are is 28 weeks in, officially into the third trimester! I feel like shouting WE DID IT. LOOK WHERE WE ARE!!! Yeah yeah I get it, we’re not the first to get here (insert laughing emoji face here) and we have a long way to go, but for us, it is a first. Baby is measuring right on track and we heard her heart beat and when the doctor pressed in a place baby girl didn’t like she kicked hard right back and it made me laugh. I don’t like to be pressed either, so it’s fun to see her taking on my personality a little. 🙂
And we’re slowly but surely doing all of those cliche things you see on movies- painting the nursery, hanging the wall paper, arguing about car seats and strollers. So many options… so many opinions. But at the end of every long day, after Chris has heard me say “I’m hungry” and “I’m full” followed by “I’m exhausted,” at least a hundred different times, we sit on the couch and the moment the kicks come in he puts his hand on my stomach and we ooh and ahh at each little tiny movement.
And this to me is pregnancy in a nutshell; feeling uncomfortable as hell nearly all day long, but forgetting about all of it with just one little flutter from the inside.
After the doctor answered all of our questions today, ranging from everything about hiking elevation, to covid concerns, and how much Reeses ice cream pie is too much, she smiled and said, “You guys are getting closer, so so close!”
And Chris and I both nodded with excitement; it’s been a long time coming, but it finally feels like we are.